Say WHAT?

UPDATE: Mom was discharged from the hospital today and has gone home with my sister from out of town for a week or so. She is doing much better and will be in good hands until her knee is strong enough to make it up 13 stairs to her condo. As for me and my family we are heading to my in laws until Sunday. It will be wonderful to get away from the stress of it all even though it would seem that stress is over for the time being.

ALSO, I received the Friday Flip Up over at Tripping Over Cobblestones. Not to be confused with the Friday Flip Off which no one has given me yet... How exciting. It's nice to know that people appreciate the daily baring of my soul no matter how embarassing, shameful or pitiful it may be.

And now on to the good stuff!

It's Friday again and that means it's time for my AWESOME game Say WHAT? In case it's your first time or you forgot how to play, here's the deal. I post a quote from an 80's movie and you all leave me your guesses in the comments. I can't stop you from using the internet as a resource but I'll ask everyone nicely to refrain. It's more fun that way! I will announce the winner on Sunday night and if the winner has a blog, I'll link them. If they have I profile picture I'll post that too.

Last weeks winner for the second time was Beth from Total Mom Haircut. She has a new template up and it's so lovely I am burning with jealousy. I'm pretty sure she changed her profile picture because I kept posting here. This one's cute too!



Now for today's 80's quote. Good Luck everyone and don't forget to come and check if you won!!




"I already have...I've done just about everything there is except a few things that are illegal...I'm a nymphomaniac!"

End of my Rope

I didn't know I had a rope. I didn't know it had an end. But I do have a rope and I'm at the end of it. I've been fairly upbeat lately so I figure it's okay to get some frustration off my chest. It's been a little quiet around here lately so very few people will be subjected to my whining.

And now that I am sitting here with time to whine I can't think of what to write.

This whole thing with my mom is so much worse than I was anticipating. Yesterday was the worst day yet. The only time when I could go see her was close to when Audrey needed to go for her nap. She was not the happiest camper while we visited and I could clearly see this was bothering mom. I guess I shouldn't have bothered to go. I could see in my mom's face a brokenness that I haven't seen since she and my father split up seventeen years ago. She is so discouraged. The worst part is that I don't think there is anything we can really do for her. At least not right now. She just has to get through this part and then the sun will shine again. (I hope.)

I am feeling heavily burdened not only emotionally but physically as well. There is a bitterness boiling up inside me that I am concerned about. I haven't felt this way since little A was first born. Sometimes I wonder if I just stopped cleaning, doing laundry, looking after the baby (as if this is really an option) if the whole world would implode or just our own small piece of it.

I feel really alone right now. I don't know if I'm not communicating well with Peter or if he's going through something as well that he's not telling me about yet. I'm just plugging along trying to hold it all together. This is nothing when compared with what other people I know are dealing with on a daily basis. I've said it before (postpartum) and I'll say it again. I am physically strong and emotionally weak. I need to pump some emotional iron. Any suggestions?

"She stands twelve feet above the flood
She stares
Alone
Across the water

The loneliness grows and slowly
Fills her frozen body
Sliding downwards" The Drowning Man-The Cure

How to Have a Bad Day...

I just wrote a long beautiful post in my word processing program which I accidently obliterated. Can't even blame Blogger for this one.

It was mostly about how I'm having a bad day.

Dragging a baby back and forth from the hospital. Working. Worrying about what's going to happen when mom gets out of the hospital. Talking about what's going to happen when my mom gets out of the hospital. Being annoyed with babies that get up 1 hour early from their naps. Being annoyed with other family members who do not seem to realize that things need to be in place when mom gets out of the hospital. Thinking of nice ways to say things that need to be said about things that should be obvious.

Surgery Update: Mom is doing better. She is tired, in a considerable amount of pain, discouraged and grumpy. Not really in a mood to visit or to talk about what should happen when she is discharged. Doesn't even want to think about the possiblility that she may not be able to go home. Staying with my sister for a week would not be so bad. But she is determined. Which may give her the courage and stamina required to work extra hard at her physio.

Blah. I work in an hour. Though an upside will be avoiding the enivitable bad mood that Miss A is going to be in due to the short nap she has had. I suppose I should go get her from her wooden prison now. My wish that she would go back to sleep is not coming true.

Magical Fairy K's

I haven't made it to the hospital yet today due to work (graduation hairstyles) and then the very necessary nap for my darling daughter. Who is still sleeping. Then we will be going to see how grandma is today.

Something I haven't written about yet but has been an ongoing challenge for us lately has been meal time. Specifically Miss A's meal times. (I could tell you about my lack of motivation to cook anything other than grilled cheese sandwiches. This could also be considered a 'challenge'. But for now we'll talk about the child's issues.)

Baby A has, with the exception of her breastfeeding difficulties, been a great eater. (She is, after all, my flesh and blood.) Once we introduced solids at six months she would gobble them up with an enthusiastic “Um!”. There seemed to be nothing she didn't like. Peas, Squash, Sweet Potatoes, whatever. It was all good as far as she was concerned. I am happy about this because I have the reputation of being a picky eater and I didn't want her to inherit the same trait.

I had thought about introducing finger foods like cheerios or small pieces of fruit. The only thing holding me back was the fact that she had no teeth. I figured I shouldn't rush it, I'd wait for the teeth. So I continued feeding her mush of all kinds. We started meat mush at nine months. This was around the time when the problems arose.

My baby, the one who liked everything and enjoyed eating began to fight me at meal times. It was a struggle to get even half the usual amount into her mouth. She would spit a lot of it out, protest, cry and turn her head away AND trying to grab the spoon. I'm a control freak. There was no way I was going to let her feed herself that mush. It would be disasterous. I was perplexed. I hadn't changed anything, so why didn't she want to eat anymore.

Then one day Grandma decided to try giving her 'Popcorn Twists'. I figured it couldn't hurt. They are soft and when broken into little pieces wouldn't be a chocking hazard. She loved them. She loved chasing them around the tray of her highchair. Loved picking them up between her tiny finger and thumb and putting them in her very own mouth. By herself!

This was a breakthrough for us. I discovered that as long as she has something on her tray to feed herself she'll let us shovel in anything else between. So it's the popcorn twists at supper time and at breakfast she has 'Special K's' which I just call K's. It's hilarious how excited she gets when I sprinkle these on her tray. You would think I am sprinkling magic fairy dust by her reaction. I am just relieved to have found a way to get her excited about eating again. Another Mama lesson learned. Just because the kid has no teeth, it doesn't mean she doesn't want to feed herself. She can feed herself the 'fluffy' stuff and I can feed her the substantial stuff. Problem solved. For now.

I have gotten more adventurous with feeding her stuff. Tiny pieces of fruit, toast or whatever we might be eating. She still loves to eat but she is developing the independence which demands she feed herself. It's a learning curve for both of us. She's very coordinated and I enjoy watching her guide things to her mouth and “smack, smack, smack” them around in there. Once she actually gets some chompers imagine the fun we'll have!

Surgery Update #1

As I mentioned earlier when I came home this morning after taking mom to the hospital it was exactly as I'd left it. Quiet. I was pleased. The world had not crashed in while I was absent, it had merely been on pause. Then I was responsible for kicking it into motion again. Gently waking Peter and suggesting he go take his morning shower, pouring coffee, making toast, feeding the baby. While feeding Miss A her cereal I had my tea and cranberry/raisin toast.

Next we ventured out to get a gift for Grandma. She mentioned this morning when I took her to the hospital that she had looked for some Capri pajama bottoms but hadn't found any. We found two pairs for her. One pair is purple with dragonflies on them and the other are green, brown and white vertical stripes. She's going to be the most stylist 'mature' lady in physiotherapy! We picked up the flowers I had ordered (although she said not to bother. Baby A insisted!) and headed to the hospital. One of my sisters was already there. Mom was laying in bed, asleep. She woke when we came in the room. She was very drowsy. She said she was feeling okay. To be honest I don't think she knows how she feels since she's still on a lot of medication and was still waking up from the anesthesia. She did seem happy to see Baby A. A seemed perplexed to see her Grandma just laying in bed that way, looking sleepy. Quite a change from the Grandma who is usually stuffing much food into her face as she is worried that her Mama couldn't possibly be feeding her enough solid food and couldn't possibly have very much milk left after nine months. The motivation that her granddaughter may starve if she doesn't get back on her feet again soon is likely a good thing.

I will likely be heading back again when Miss A wakes up from her nap as well as this evening. I guess I'll HAVE to miss baseball. Shucks. What will they do without their star player? Yuk yuk yuk.

Surgery

I just got back from the hospital. This is how my morning went.

5:15 alarm rings
5:15-5:30 pump
5:30-5:45 wash face, brush teeth, fix pig tails, get dressed
5:45-6:00 drive to mom's, pick her up
6:00-8:00 Go to hospital, wait, listen to mom confirm details regarding medications, her surgery and other stuff. Wait in another area while they put in I.V. and give her two needles. Which I thought was stupid since that was almost the whole reason I went. To be there when that kind of awfulness was happening. Had a small cry by myself in bathroom. Stood with mom while we waited for them to take her in for surgery. She was not impressed with all the waiting. I just kept talking to her. I'm pretty sure she wanted me to just shut up already. We're different like that. Finally they came to get her. I told her I loved her as they rolled her off on the stretcher.
8:00 came home to find baby and husband still sleeping soundly. (prayer answered)
8:01 breathed sigh of relief

They are going to call around 10:00 to tell me how it went and we'll be heading to the hospital to see her around 12:00. I'll update everyone as the day goes on.

A Winner You Say?

Congratulations to Beth from Total Mom Haircut for correctly identifying this weeks Say WHAT? quote. This is her second win. It couldn't have happened to a nicer person. If you have never checked her out read this post. Her writing is superb and her sense of humor is brilliant.



The Legend of Billy Jean was yet another 80's movie with a profound effect on me. There were plenty of similarites between Helen Slater's character and myself.

1. We both lived in a trailer.
2. We were both nice and honest people.
3. We both have a brother.

This is where we differed...



Who the heck ever looked like that? But I can be thankful because if you've seen the movie you know what a whole lotta trouble looking like that can get you into. People wreck your brother's scooter, old men try to fondle you and then you become a fugitive on the run. Whew! I'm so glad I never looked like her.

But what I really loved was when she cut all her hair off and got tough! Big surprise, I know. Me. Liking a tough girl. It's a theme.



Here's a little tidbit of information: Yeardley Smith, better known as Lisa Simpson is in this movie. If you have never seen this movie before and watch it now you'll be thinking 'Putter' should be yellow with spikey hair and a red dress.




And then there is Keith Gordon, Helen Slater's love interest in the film. I loved him. His name was Lloyd and he was almost as cute as Lloyd Dobler but not quite. I discovered from looking him up on IMDB that the only other well known-ish movies he was in were Christine and 'Back to School' with Rodney Dangerfield. (shudder!) So sad. He should have been a star... I can't believe he looks like this now! No, it's not a joke. That's really him.



Oh yeah, and it was one of Christian Slaters first films. (He is not actually Helen Slater's brother. His real name is Christian Michael Leonard Hawkins.) He was a really unlikeable character in this one. Ulike the likeable characters he played in this movie and this movie.

I actually don't own this movie. It seems to be nearly impossible to acquire. Doing this internet based research (Trademark) I found copies to purchase but unfornately only on VHS format. If any of you love me let me know if you ever find it on DVD. And buy it for me. I'll totally pay you back. Anyway, find it, rent it, watch it, love it. You know you want to.

P.S. Prayers would be appreciated since tomorrow I will be taking my mom for her knee replacement surgery. Thanks.

Say WHAT?

It's Friday again and that means it's time for my AWESOME game Say WHAT? In case it's your first time or you forgot how to play, here's the deal. I post a quote from an 80's movie and you all leave me your guesses in the comments. I will announce the winner on Sunday night and if the winner has a blog, I'll link them. If they have I profile picture I'll post that too.

Last weeks winner was Carrie from The Queen's Rambles. We have yet to have a repeat winner. Maybe today will be the day!



Now for today's 80's quote. Good Luck everyone and don't forget to come and check if you won!!



"Fair is Fair! We didn't start this! We didn't mean for this to happen! But we're not giving up until you pay! FAIR IS FAIR!"

Battle of the Floor Dwellers

I believe the last time I spoke about Baby A and our cat was in this post. I have also spoke about their relationship here and here.

It has been like any relationship. At first they had to get used to each other. One of them (cat) was pretty nervous and cautious. The other (baby) oblivious. (Sounds like a man doesn't it?) After a while they became more comfortable and even enjoyed each others company. But inevitably they became too comfortable and started getting on each other's nerves. One (cat) was territorial while the other didn't understand the boundaries. “This is my spot on the floor. I always lie here. You can have the rest of the house to yourself but this spot is MINE.” This telepathic message was met with squeals of delight as she closed in on his space.








They are learning to co-exist but the process is slow. There have been some incidents. The cat has put up with plenty of fur removal but there have been times when she has felt his teeth on her skin. She cries and but then gets over it. And goes back for more. I actually feel more sympathy for my cat than I do for her. Although she's young and doesn't fully understand I do give her more credit. She can be gentle and she needs to learn how. I can't be there all the time so if Casey has to defend himself, so be it. I trust him. So far he hasn't crossed the line. He has always been careful when teaching her a lesson. They do love each other, I can tell. They just don't know how to show it. They remind me of elementary school kids with a crush on each other.

As for me I am now dealing with two floor dwellers making messes, knocking things over and getting into trouble. It's twice as exhausting as before. Still I can't help loving them both like crazy. And crazy is what I'll be if I survive these next few months of destruction and chaos.

Into The Groove

At baseball on Monday night we played a very competitive team. Being a competitive person I should have enjoyed that right? But I didn't. I think it comes back to my comfort zone issues. Last time I played 2nd base. This time I was on 1st. I know it's good for me to play new positions but wow, I don't have a chance to get good at one before I learn another. There were some highlights. I caught the ball. A couple of times. And even tagged people out a few times! Also, a new girl came to play. A really nice girl who owns a second hand kids clothing store I go to. She is a WICKED baseball player. We were throwing the ball around before the game started and she threw it to me. It was so fast and hard I panicked for a second. She can hit, she can run and she caught this potential home run hit like a pro ball player. I think I had to remind myself to close my gaping mouth. That's the ball player I want to be. She's my hero.

I gotta say though the ball cap makes me feel like I know what I'm doing. It's like putting on my Do Bok for TaeKwon Do. And then there are the sun blocking benifits as well. We forgot to take our camera with us again this week. Peter was pretty busy trying to keep Audrey from swallowing rocks and bark as it was. He took some shots of us once we got home. From what I can tell Little A gets a kick out of the hat. The last picture is funny, you likely can't tell but she's pulling my hair. Doesn't she look pleased with herself?








We went to the gym yesterday during the noon hour. The regular nursery worker was out taking a CPR course so there was a substitute. When I dropped A off there was one other baby. I went and pedaled my heart out at cycle fit for 45 minutes. When I got back to the nursery another member of the staff was holding my crying baby. It was only a whiny cry so I wasn't worried, but the substitute was no where to be seen. The mother of the other baby was holding her daughter and had a concerned look in her eye. The room looked as though it had been hit by a hurricane. A two baby hurricane. I took Audrey and just then the substitute walked in. She was patted on the shoulder by her coworker as she walked in. Her eyes were red and she was making those erratic breathing noises you make after you've been crying really hard. What the heck happened? Had the babies attacked her? Pummeling her about the head with chewy toys and rattles? I don't know. Thank goodness I was only gone 45 minutes. I felt sorry for that girl. So did the other mother. I don't know how the heck she ended up working in the nursery if looking after two babies could reduce her to a sobbing mess. It was all a bit strange.

Last night was TaeKwon Do night. I was more prepared this time. I had my sports bra. I had my 'feminine protection' (Good thing). We did dodging kicking drills, patterns and sparring. I sparred three of my fellow black belts. It felt incredible. Not counting last week's class I hadn't sparred since we began 'trying' for a baby in September of 2004. That was a long sabbatical. One of my dear friends from class complimented me by saying I was "as quick as ever.” I was flattered. After everything my body has been through since last September, I'm surprised I can keep up at all.

So I can't really complain that I'm not getting any exercise. As I suspected I would be, I am a lot happier and in a better mood most of the time. I don't get so down on myself or feel irrationally mad at Peter. I'm back into my groove and it feels good. Na na na na na na na! (I knew that it would.)

Toilet Humor

I am creatively empty at present so today I'm posting some pictures I've been hiding for just such an occasion. Oh and by the way that's not an 'accident' on the rug. It's a water mark from Peter's shower that morning.

Revolutionizing the Revolution!

I received an email from Blogger telling me that I was revolutionizing the revolution. Yep, that's what I'm doing. (Sounds a bit like Pump up the Volume doesn't it?) Why? I started audioblogging thanks to Emma sometimes at The Bee's Knees. She mentioned it and I was all over it. I thought about doing it here and then thought “But what would I say?” This isn't a question that often enters my mind. Although from experience, I would have the best intentions and then when I actually attempted to record something... I would draw a blank, stutter, stammer and so on. I used to make audio taped letters for Peter when we lived apart. It was hard to think of what to say. There were a lot of um's and uh's. Therefore I decided what would be easier than reading out a chapter at The Mama D Experiment? So that is what I did. There is a little stuttering, a little stammering and since you are only allowed a 5 minute post, it cut me off. 5 minutes goes by quickly! I'm sure I will ruin the story for any of my faithful readers. They will have their own voices for the characters in their heads and imagine the way the dialog should sound. I'll destroy it with my monotone style reading. Not to mention I am rushing a bit to try to fit the whole chapter into 5 minutes. Oh well.

Now there's something I should warn you about if you are planning to check it out. My voice. I don't know why but I have the voice of a thirteen year old. I assure you I am not thirteen but on the cusp of my 30th birthday. The voice comes in handy when telemarketers call and ask to speak to my parents. I always tell them “No, they aren't here right now.” and hang up. I once had trouble booking both plane and concert tickets due to my childlike voice. The booking agents sounded concerned since I was flying from Winnipeg to Toronto. (To see this friend) “Do you have someone to stay with while you're there?” one of them asked in a concerned sounding voice. “Um, I'm actually 23 years old.” I said. “Oh! Wow, you sound so young.” I'm used to it. I used to look a lot younger than I was too. I think Baby A has taken care of that for me. A few months without much sleep ages you quickly. Still I wear pig tails. I'll likely wear them until I'm 80 if I'm still kickin' around.

So hey, what I'm really trying to say is come on and 'Revolutionize the Revolution' with me. Won't you? It's easy, it's painless and it's kinda fun.

TALK HARD!!!

You say you want a revolution
Well you know
We all want to change the world
You tell me that it's evolution
Well you know
We all want to change the world
But when you talk about destruction
Don't you know you can count me out
Don't you know it's gonna be alright
Alright Alright

-The Beatles

(Much better than Eye of the Tiger don't you think?)

And The Winner Is...

Carrie from The Queen's Rambles!!! Congratulations! I'm so flattered when Royalty stops by!



This weeks quote was one that Peter just blurted out. I knew it sounded familiar but I couldn't figure it out before he told me "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure". Of course.



I have to be honest, I found this movie entertaining but it has never been one I desired to watch repeatedly. That for me is the sign of a brilliant movie. I'll give it props for being rather amusing. I mean, that quote is FUNNY! And who doesn't like Keanu Reeves? Don't answer that. I have a soft spot for him. What's not to like? He's cute in an exotic sort of way, he's in good shape, and he ROCKED so hard in The Matrix. And everybody knows it. No matter what people say about his acting they can't deny that The Matrix was one of the most incredible movies of it's time... But I digress.

I will say that while doing my 'internet based research' (Peter's and my favorite new term) on the film I noticed something. Something I hadn't noticed during my adolescent first viewing of the movie. Alex Winter is cute. Like, really cute! I must have been blinded by Keanu's perfectly disheveled hair. But Alex, those curls! And there's something about his eyes too. Hmmm. It must have been the blond hair. Dark hair has always been my favorite. Until the perfect combination came along. Salt & Pepper. That's right, and I'm not talking about the band either.

Okay, it must be time for bed because I'm totally off topic. Y'all come back now ya hear? Next Friday. You, Me and a Quote from the 80's.

Happy Father's Day

A shout out to my brilliant, gorgeous, amazing husband on his first ever Father's Day. (I'm sorry for embarrassing you sweetie, it's what I do.)

Thank you for being such a wonderful dad, and yes, yes you are.

Thank you for not leaving me when I was an emotional basket case and I would have left myself if it had been possible.

Thank you for the tall genes you have passed on to Baby A so she won't have to live her life as a near midget. Also for passing on your rosy cheeks, blue eyes and fine motor skilz.

Thank you for hours of carrying her around so I didn't have to listen to her crying in my face instead of eating.

Thank you for building me up and telling me I was a good mom even when it was questionable.

Thank you for playing guitar and singing and being a goof around our daughter. I'm hoping some of it rubs off on her.

Thank you for changing countless dirty diapers, for feeding her bottles and cereal and baby food, for comforting her many times until I finally got home, late, from work.

Thank you for loving us. Unconditionally. Because sometimes, let's face it, we're both a little difficult.

Say WHAT?

It's Friday and that means it's time for my AWESOME game Say WHAT? In case it's your first time or you forgot how to play here's the deal. I post a quote from an 80's movie and you all leave me your guesses in the comments. I will announce the winner on Sunday night and if the winner has a blog, I'll link them. If they have I profile picture I'll post that too.

Last week's winner was Beth from Total Mom Haircut. Although I don't think she realized she'd won until like, Wednesday. Obviously it was very important to her. *sticks tongue out!* I love her anyway for many reasons. Most recently because I found out we both dressed up as Wonderwoman in our childhood.

Now for today's 80's quote. Good Luck everyone and don't forget to come and check if you won!!



"Everything's different, yet the same. Things are more moderner than before, bigger, and yet smaller. It's computers. (pause) San Dimas High School Football Rules!"

Bloomorama!

Peter and I have been working very hard to beautify our yard. When we moved to this house the yard had been sadly neglected. I mentioned this a little here. Our first summer was spent getting rid of five volunteer trees that had grown up big and tall. Where the trees weren't growing perrenials and weeds were running amuck. Peter's first impression of the house was negative because of the yard. Thankfully we bought it anyway and after nearly three years, it's coming along. The back yard only has about 4 more trees to lose. We actually have a lawn back there now. And the big development is that our friend came over Saturday and cut down the two HUGE cedars in the front of our house. Here is a photo of them (sort of) in the spring.



You can imagine how huge they must be since they are hardly in the shot. They were like, twice the height, at least, of our house. When they were planted they likely meant for them to be the kind of cedars that grow a maximum height of like 8 feet or something. That wouldn't have been so bad. We were concerned about them being so close to the house (roots, etc.) and were sick of cleaning up the mess they created in the eavestroughs and flower garden. So anyway, as of today they are gone, gone, GONE! And here is the proof.





Is it ever weird that they are gone! So much more light comes in the front door now. It will take some getting used to and I told Peter I am going to make him put up Christmas lights this year now that the trees aren't in the way.

And to end this post on a happy note. Here are some pictures of the flowers in my garden going mental. Hurray!

Back to Normal?

Tonight was my first night back to TaeKwon Do. I was so excited. It felt good to put my Do Bok (that's Korean for uniform) and my black belt on again. (But why is my belt shorter?) It also felt strange. Not only because it's been a while but also because since I left to have my baby the location where we train changed as well. The building I trained in for over nine years was torn down. They're building a seniors complex there or something.

Our new Do Jang (that's Korean for training hall) is in the HUGE (sarcasm) downtown area of my city. It is in the upstairs of an old building. My instructor and those that helped him (unfortunately I couldn't as I was busy giving birth or something) worked their booties off, stripping and refinishing the wood floors, drywalling, plumbing etc. It looks pretty amazing. It has a patterned tin ceiling. Kind of like this. I like the new digs, though I'm not used to them yet. The wood floors are a lot easier on the knees but my feet haven't made friends with them yet. I am missing a part of the skin from one of my big toes. Yowee!

Being that this was my first class since having a baby there were a few things that, well, um... didn't go right. One was I forgot to take my sports bra. For me this was serious business. I was wearing a nursing bra. (handy!) Oh and a light (cheap) sports bra over top. Why? To handle the spillage. Oh how I hate boob spillage. Especially when wearing light summer cotton shirts. If I'm not careful you can see all sorts of jiggly lumps and bumps in my booball area. NOT GOOD people. not good. I'm a trooper though and I sure as heck wasn't going home. So what did I do? I had yet another cheap sports bra in my bag which I put on also. So let's count em' I had one, two, three bras on. So when we did sixty jumping jacks (no, I'm not kidding) the girls stayed put right? Right? Um... I wish I could say they behaved. They stayed compact in their three bra prison true, but they uniformly bounced up and down threatening to knock me unconscious before I even had a sparring match. Needless to say I was a little self conscious. One thing I have to thank Baby A for is since having her I'm a lot less self conscious about my body. Except when people ask me if I'm expecting again. Then I feel self conscious once more.

Thing number two that didn't go right, or was bad, or wrong. I have two words. Bladder control. Here are two more. Up and Down. Which is how my body moved a lot during the hour long class. Jumping Jacks. Jumping Kicks. I have been rather proud of myself since having A. Thinking, I don't need no stinking Kegals. Apparently, I do. I'm not saying I gotta break out the Depends or anything. Maybe just a liner for some 'feminine protection'. This also made me feel a little self conscious although I'm pretty sure no one could tell.



I just kept thinking “Wow, my life has really changed.” It never ceases to amaze me how I go back to doing things I did before having a baby thinking nothing will be different, only to discover that everything is. It boggles the mind. I don't think there is anything else left to surprise me anymore. I have now officially done everything I did B.B. Before Baby. From now on everything I do will be done with the mama perspective.

The Plunge

Well, I finally did it. Or we did it, I guess. We meaning Peter and I. Mostly me but he gave me the go ahead...

We took the plunge and bought a new (old) couch. Feel free to tell me it's ugly in the comments. You won't hurt my feelings. (much) I know it won't be everyone's cup of tea. It's plaid, it's old, it's like, made of wool or something. I don't know. It struck my fancy. Not to say that I didn't argue with myself about it a lot. 'Are you sure that's what you really want? A plaid couch? Really. But it won't go with your area rug.' (See new plain off white burber one) I dragged Peter to the second hand store with me at 9:30 on Monday morning. He said “It's fine. It's nice. It's not anything I thought you would have chosen at all. Hurry, up I'm going to be late for work.” So with that, I handed over my VISA and for $149 bucks we had a new couch, chair and automan. I bought the rug that afternoon before they were delivered.

The best part? We kept our lovely green couch and chair. Peter and I miraculously maneuvered the thing (it's over six feet long) into our narrow hallway and down the stairs which have a turn in them halfway down. We did this while A was screaming her guts out in her crib. (We thought that would be the safest place for her) And we didn't ask each other for a divorce when we finally got the d@mn thing down the stairs. Also Little A slept awesome after tiring herself out with all her carrying on. Thumbs up to all. Peter and I are considering opening the P & D Moving Company. Our motto? “We'll move yer stuff. It might get broken, we might damage your house in the process, it might take us a whole week to do it, but we'll get er' done!”

So far I'm liking the new furniture. It's not as high off the ground as our other one and even though the springs are good you really sink down into it. It doesn't smell bad but it doesn't smell like us. (We smell like roses) So it will take some getting used to. But I like it. I think. Do I sound like I'm trying to convince myself?? Anyway, here it is. Behold its beauty.

A Letter

There is an update at 'The Mama D Experiment'

I have never done one of these letters to my daughter before, so bear with me.

Dear A,

You are now officially nine months old. The same number of months that I carried you inside my womb. You were considerably easier to care for during that time (Except for all that vomiting you made me do!) thanks to the efficiency of the human body. It fed you (on time), took care of your waste, was always a nice warm place for a nap as well as having it's own swimming pool. Being born and having me take care of you must have been such a disappointment. This may explain why you were in a pretty bad mood for the first three months of your life. You were in no mood to eat, poop or sleep and since that is pretty much all that babies do that meant you didn't want to do anything. Had you been a little more aware of the world I think you would have found it entertaining to watch me slowly lose my mind with each nearly sleepless night and every challenging day.








Right about the time I was ready to throw in the towel I went back to work. You spent more time with your Dada, your auntie, your cousin and your grandma. I spent time with people my own age and had intelligent conversations. About you. About being a mom and how hard it is. About how cute you are. About how my life will never be the same. Soon after going back to work I began to really appreciate my time with you. I started to realize that you could actually be a lot of fun. I hadn't really noticed what with all the changing of diapers, breastfeeding, laundry, housework, sleep deprivation... Sometimes while I was driving you to your aunties I would feel sad that I had to go to work instead of be with you. On the other hand, you were totally happy to be with auntie and hardly noticed me leave.





I often look at you and can't believe how absolutely lovely you are. Your enormous eyes, long lashes and pronounced eye brows, your perfect full lips, your tiny little nose. Beauty isn't everything but you make my heart swell with pride as your gorgeousness takes my breath away. I happen to think your dad is mighty cute and I know I am not a troll but it is shocking to think that two such ordinary people created such an extraordinary you. We know it is our duty to teach you to be as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside. If we succeed you'll be the nicest person on earth.









Now, nine months into your life I can't believe the journey we've had. We've watched you grow from a tiny helpless and belligerent baby into the beginnings of a little girl. I am trying to imagine how you will look as a five year old without a single tooth since I am finding it hard to believe that you will ever get any. You are smart and funny and stubborn. Most of the time you make us so happy that we could cry. Some of the time you make us so unhappy, we do cry. You are the greatest joy in our lives and we can't imagine how empty we would feel without you. We get up every day just to see your smiling face. We love you, sweet baby.

Your Mama & Dada