Thursday, October 22, 2009

My Girls

Seriously I am disgusted with my lack of postage on the blog recently. I'm not sure what my problem is. Stuff is happening. Perhaps too much stuff yet nothing of much actual interest? Another reason that comes to mind is that Baby B has been taking the notion to switch off the power bar while I'm on the computer recently. Just one of the many charming things she's been doing of late. Which leads me nicely into the first subject of this post.

B. Seriously. This kid is MAKING ME NUTS! I know this is redundant because I mentioned it in my last of infrequent posts but it bears repeating because crap sakes she really, really is. I am trying so hard to enjoy her right now. You know, because that is what people tell you you should be doing because "they grow up so fast, before you know it they'll be grown up." Honestly, I know this. I have a living, breathing, vibrating with energy example of this in my 4 year old daughter. Evidence that they do indeed grow up and learn to entertain themselves in constructive, rather than destructive ways. Right now B is in this majorly mischievous phase. I feel like I have to sneak around my house sometimes so that she won't follow me and get into trouble. We keep both our bedroom and bathroom doors closed at all times now because she cannot be trusted. She seems to be magnetically attracted to everything that she isn't supposed to touch.

I realize I'm coming across like a first time mom here. Or a mother whose first child was a perfect angel (subjectively) who always did what she was told, sat quietly and played with her toys etc... which of course any of you who've been reading since A was a toddler, know that I didn't. But I can honestly say, as shocking as it might seem to any of you who remember A's shenanigans, that B is more active, more curious, more... exhausting. Peter and I have discussed this whilst shaking our heads wondering aloud how we created yet another child who is this wild.

I am so happy that A is in preschool because it allows her to have a break and be able to do things without her sister climbing on top of her to get to her toys or food or craft or whatever. Other times she just goes in her room and closes the door so she can have a little undisturbed playtime. I am amazed at how loving and patient she can be though and I try to take some inspiration from her in that department because it seems my patience is running dangerously low these days. When I lose it with B I can see that it upsets A which in turn upsets me both for losing it and for upsetting both kids... Ah, good times. As difficult as she is right now, she is also a sweetheart. She's fun loving, good natured, and hilarious. Oh yeah, and she still doesn't sleep worth a darn.

And then there is Miss A. I have been having many of the opposite kind of moments with her lately. Moments where I am astounded, and stupidly saddened, by how grown up she is. I watch her doing something amazing and remember that she was once this tiny helpless squawking baby in my arms. And then I'm struck by the fact that I am one of the people responsible for bringing her to the place she is today. This incredible little person that I helped to shape.

The other day we were heading to the optometrist for her yearly eye examination. I was asking her if she remembered what the eye doctor did during the exam. She had him confused with our regular doctor. Then she piped up about this dream she had about a bad doctor and how "he took off all my skin and drank my BLOOD!!" I, as I often am when she tells me about her dreams, was flabbergasted. I told her that sounded like a terrible dream. She agreed and told me that once she woke up and saw that she still had her skin and blood she was okay. I swear that I don't allow her to watch horror movies in her spare time. I have no idea where this stuff comes from. I fear that she has inherited the vivid dreams from me. I recall having nightmares often as a child but I always thought it might have had something to do with my tumultuous childhood. It seems I would have had them regardless just as A does.

She is loving preschool and gymnastics and the kids seem to flock to her in both places. I'm happy to say that she stands her ground and sticks up for herself when the need arises which was never something that I was good at (I'm still not very good at it) and I feel is an important skill to have. Her teachers have given me excellent feedback about her without me needing to ask which I take to be a good sign. She is still a very intense person but she seems to be getting a better handle on her emotions all the time under normal circumstances. If she is tired or hungry however, it's an entirely different story.

I am completely comfortable saying that we are done, our family is complete. I know in my soul that I do not have it in me to do it again. I have reached my limit. I am not cut out to be the mother of more than two. Sometimes I doubt my ability to be the mother of two but I think (hope) it's normal to feel that way sometimes.


Saturday, October 03, 2009

More Watching And Waiting

My last post was regarding Baby B's eye issue. I've been meaning to write about the other appointment we had last week. We saw a podiatrist. Why? B's left foot (to match her left eye, coincidence??) turns in rather severely as she walks. I was a bit concerned because it hasn't been improving as she has been walking longer and sometimes her toe drags as well. It seemed like yet another thing I should have checked out. The podiatrist told me she's walking that way due to a bowed tibia. The good news is that she'll very likely grow out of it although she figured we'll probably need to put an orthotic in her shoe when she's around four. Fine with me, as long as we get it straightened out. Literally and figuratively.

Poor kid though. Seriously. I know this stuff can be character building but honestly it pains me to think about the razzing that she could suffer if we are still dealing with this by the time she goes to school. sigh.

On a less sympathetic note regarding the little one... SHE IS DRIVING ME CRAZY RIGHT NOW!!! Honestly. She climbs up in to her high chair repeatedly and then can't get out. She has started messing with the computer which looks cute in the picture but in reality... She is always trying to steal her sisters food, which, often she can't eat anyway because she only has THREE TEETH! (all of which you can see in the last photo!) She is becoming increasingly bored with mushy food so I'm finding I have to get continually more creative with what I am feeding her. And finally I still need to use the living room as her second bedroom halfway through the night otherwise she wakes her big sister too frequently resulting in a very grumpy Miss A and thus a very grumpy Mama. On the bright side, for the most part she's keeping her clothes on.