Independent Woman

I'm wondering if every day is going to be an exercise is frustration from now on. My happy baby has turned into my whiny baby. She used to wake up in her crib all happy and playing. Now she's often complaining soon after waking up for us to hurray up and let her out. She used to sit happily in her highchair playing with toys until I made her cereal. Now she's grumbling that she doesn't want to sit in the highchair and is studying the belt clasp and poking it with her little fingers trying to free herself from it's restraint. One time not so long ago, she ate with enthusiasm. Opened her mouth and said “Ummm!” when I fed her. Now she purses her little lips or if I managed to get a spoonful in she'll often push it back out. Sometimes with only enough force so that it runs down her chin but lately she has spit it out and it has landed on her sleeve or on me. She once enjoyed playing in her exersaucer but seems to have no time for it now. She'll tolerate it just long enough for me to accomplish what ranks highest on my list of priorities at that moment. On days when I work that priority is often trying to make myself look professional. How professional I actually look depends on her patience level for that particular day. She is just not the happy child she once was.

That is unless she is on the floor crawling or standing up on something. Then she's all “ha ha ha ha ha” the whole time. Really, she does that. This morning I thought I'd be a nice Mama and let her play on the floor in the living room. At first I thought it was going rather well. But then our cat decided he wanted to sit right with her. I repeatedly had to remove her tightly clamped hand(s) from his fur. You think he'd get the hint. Move. He just stayed there. She tried using him as an object to push herself to a standing position. I had to stop her several times. Still, our cat stayed in close proximity. I felt like I was looking after two children. No matter how much I tried to steer our cat away from her he wouldn't go. I suppose I could just let them work it out themselves. If she ticked him off enough he would let her know. But I am a peace lover so I haven't done it yet. I don't want either one of them to be traumatized by the other.


I guess I wasn't expecting this expression of independence so soon. That need to be out on her own, exploring and doing her thing. She wants me to be there. She's constantly looking back at me from whatever she is doing and her eyes are saying “Look Mama! See, I'm crawling. And watch this, I can stand. Ha ha ha ha ha.” And when she falls and she cries that awful cry that says “Oh, that hurt a whole lot!” I hold her and she seems confused. She was having fun and suddenly there was all this pain. How did that happen?

That's what I'm wondering. How did this happen? You were a baby. And now? Now you are this little person. You don't need me as much. You want to do big girl things and be on the floor. Not sit on Mama's knee or be carried around. You can do it by yourself. Until you fall. Then you need me.

I knew this was going to happen eventually. Like when she was a teenager. But now? I wasn't ready for this.