Farewell

My sister will be heading home tomorrow. I am always sad when the time comes for her to go. Things are always so hectic when she is here we never seem to have any quality time to visit. Mind you, the purpose of this particular visit was primarily for her to help look after my mom while she continues to recover from surgery. That in itself has been a huge help. I've still been running back and forth every day for lunch but I don't have to make it when I get there as I'd been doing before. She has been running my mom around to all of her doctor and physiotherapy appointments. This has really cut down on the amount of stress I was feeling having to do all this as well as cart a baby along. Next week it will be back upon my shoulders...

My relationship with my sister has evolved over the years. She is eighteen years older than I am and had already moved away when I was born. Growing up she was more like an Auntie to me than a sister. I didn't know anyone else who had siblings that were that much older than they were. I always used to refer to her as my 'favorite' sister. I think this was because I saw her the least of all of them. I never fought with her, she was always nice to me even when I was being naughty. She has a tremendous amount of patience (especially with her own children) which is a quality I have always admired in her and wish I myself possessed.

Her children are closer to my age than she is. When I was young I played with them a lot and as we all grew up together we were pretty close. When they would come to visit I would have the girls over for sleep overs and we'd watch girlie movies and put on clay masks. These are secretly things that I would have loved to have done with my sister but sadly our age difference always seemed to prevent it.

Because I am so much younger than all three of my sisters I remain 'the baby' no matter how much older I become. I will never share the childhood memories that the three of them have. They were each two years apart and had a lot of the same friends growing up. I listen to them reminisce about old boyfriends or about school memories and I find myself wishing I could be a part of the conversation. Sometimes I feel just like a little kid again vying for their attention. It's embarrassing but I can't seem to help myself.

This family dynamic has made me feel firmly about the fact that I'd like to have my children closer together. Not that I'm planning anything at the moment, we're not intending to try for another year, but I wouldn't want my kids to be so spread apart in age. (I would have had to start having kids at 19 like my mom for that to even be a possibility!) (NO THANKS!) I hope that my next baby (if we are blessed with another) whether it be a boy or a girl will be good friends with their big sister. My wish is for them to share many great memories together of growing up with a couple of crazies for parents. That they can at least commiserate with each other about all their expectations that we won't be able to live up to.