Every Move You Make
My baby and I have entered yet a new phase of our relationship. The clingy phase. Or the stalker phase. I have always (well, maybe not always) been so pleased and happy that she has been an independent girl. She was content to lay on the floor watching 'Baby Einstein' as a small baby. Or sit in her exersaucer and play without me being in the room. (The exersaucer days are SO over. Sadly.) She never had a problem being with anyone else - Dada, Grandma, Auntie, Cousin, care takers at church or the gym.
Now? She freaks out if I'm not in the same room. If she's on the floor and I walk away from her she screams and chases after me. Sometimes she kneels at my feet holding on to my pant legs. Yesterday I went to the gym. As soon as we walked into the babysitting room I felt her grip me tighter with her little hands. When I set her on the ground, her lip turned down and she started pouting. Soon there were tears and she was trying to climb up my legs. I sat with her on the floor for a while as I put on my runners. She eventually crawled off to play with the other kids. Once she seemed settled in I slipped out. I was able to work out for about 25 minutes before they came to get me and said she was just too unhappy. Workout over.
What happened to my independent, happy, social little girl? This is really worrying since I will be going back to work one more day starting in September. She will be at this (very nice) lady's house from 9-4. I really hope Baby A is not going to give her a hard time. She still seems okay with her Dada and her Auntie. Grandma has been worrying that since she hasn't seen her in a while Little A won't remember her. I don't think so, but now I'm not sure.
I have talked to so many other mothers that have had difficulty leaving their kids with anyone else. Even their husbands. They would tell me that their babies wanted them and no one else. I got claustrophobia just thinking about it. I always felt so blessed no to have to worry about that. But lately... it's been a bit scary. Maybe this makes me a bad mother (again) but I don't think I can handle this new clingyness. I need my space. I guess that sounds pretty selfish but I can't help it. I love her. I've got cuddles and kisses for her but having to constantly be with her and not out of her sight... it's smothering. I really hope this is what I'm guessing it to be. A phase. That soon I'll have my fun loving, little monkey back. And not the crying, whining, needy one she is at present.
And another fun part of this phase? Sleeping. Or lack thereof. Some days she has gone on strike from having a nap. Some days she'll sleep for an hour. An hour. Why bother? And she's been fighting bed time, crying herself to sleep and waking in the night. At three. The least she could do was get up before the infomercials start. If I have to watch the 'Velform Sauna Belt' one again I'm going to loose my mind.
Here are a few pictures from last Friday, a nap strike day. She was simply miserable. We were invited out swimming so I told her we were going and that she was going to like it. And I was right! She should listen to me more often!
9 comments:
Hang in there!! I can't wait until J is on a schedule....so that I can come and visit with a baby that is not comotose!
As for the clinginess - I have no clue...plus, I suck at advice since I have only been a mom for less than 40 days!
Oh I feel your pain! My baby has been clingy since she was 3 months old, she is now 7 months. Doctor says the "separation anxiety peaks around 8-9 months". (!!!)
Avery's dad can't even hold her most of the time. Me and only me. I cry sometimes, needing a break.
Hang in there, yours is bound to be a shorter phase since she is so much older.
And cute pics of you guys swimming!
oh yeah, she's prime age for separation anxiety. It might last a few weeks, or you might be prying her off your leg at 18 months. It comes and goes for us. My advice is to indulge it. I think she'll actually get through the phase faster if you let her be your shadow rather than try to push her away.
Valarie gave you great advice. The more you try to peel her off your leg, the more anxious she'll become. Reassure her, be patient. She'll get over it and you'll survive...
Mary, whose 19 month old still sometimes does the monkey cling...
Boo is having the same problem, except its not me he's clinging to, its his daddy!
Hang in there, it'll get better eventually. I don't think your a bad mother for wanting your space, I totally understand that one. I was in the same boat when Boo was nursing 24 hours a day, it was a blessing just to be able to use the bathroom without having him attatched to me!
Yup, phase. Again yup, indulge her and it'll go faster. Think of it like a cat... only the cycle takes longer... the cat comes up and meows and rubs and pesters for a lovin'. You pick the cat up and start petting? that cat is done in 30 seconds tops! You put the cat off and they'll be bugging you for hours.
Meme accomplished.
I don't know what else to tell you that others haven't already offered....My son is still CLINGY!! (It could also be that he's a spoiled rotten only child!) If you find that it's a "phase," then good for you, but if it's like mine...just a part of the new permanent personality....I feel for you!
I don't think it's selfish at all to want your own time...mom's gotta be the person she was BEFORE she was "mom" sometimes! :)
Ella is just at the very begining fringes of the stalker phase so I feel for you. This is in sharp contrast to my oldest son who barely notices I exist anymore. I want the happy medium back!
I was ROFL about the Velform Sauna Belt! I had to check out their website. I can't believe they are serious. Perhaps they could sell some Snake Oil to go along with it?
Anyhow, I hope today is a better day for you!
I was gonna say what Valarie said first--that it's temporary and that if you go with it and give her lots of extra love she'll get through it a lot faster. My understanding of this phase is that it's the beginning of a new stage of independence, and the babies are both psyched about new skills and terrified about what it means. She just needs to know that as she becomes more independent you're still her loving mama. I'm sure it'll be over soon--my guess is that it'll be well before September. Good luck!
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