Wednesday, August 23, 2006

A Terrible Idea

So in preparation for going back to work today (not Thursday as I stated in Monday's post when I was obviously on crack) I decided to wax my underarms. Before you freak out, I do it all the time, for several years now. To sway any of you skeptics out there I only wax about once every two months and that is it. I am not a slave to the razor. Well, my armpits aren't anyway. My legs however...

As many of you know, I am a hairstylist. I work in a very nice Salon and Spa. Unfortunately our spa currently has no esthetician. What does an esthetician do? Waxing. Among other things. So where does this leave me? Paying someone at another location to do it (which is a hassle considering I was once able to just zip upstairs for a few minutes in between clients and pay a fraction of the price with my employee discount) (Don't be jealous because my job has no benefits and no pension, when I get old I'll have to live in a tent) or doing it myself.

So which do you think I chose? Adopting my daughter's soon to be mantra “I can do it by myself!” I did that very thing. But you see I've done it before. I've done it a couple of times actually and was pretty successful. So doing it again last night was no big deal. Except that I tried doing it while watching an episode of 'Firefly' with my husband. Turns out good lighting and paying attention to what you are doing is key when ripping armpit hairs out by the roots. I didn't know what I had done wrong exactly but I knew that it hurt. So after punishing myself a little more I decided to quit.

This morning I surveyed the damage. Red, very red. Injured looking but still many hairs. I considered shaving, but as anyone who understands waxing knows, I would suffer a major set back in my waxing routine. I considered making an appointment with a professional to finish the job properly but I was too embarrassed for anyone (except the internet) to see what I had done to myself. Also, if I was the esthetician looking at my sorry pit I'd tell me to go home and let it heal before I would even go near the thing. (I really hope Plantain is reading this because I think she'll get a kick out of it and/or think I'm a total putz)

So, are you all dying to know what I did? Or do you think you can guess? If you guessed that I decided to yet again abuse my poor tender under arms myself you win. I totally lose. This time I was in the bathroom, in front of a mirror, in good lighting, paying attention to what I was doing. It still hurt but the pits are virtually hair free. Was it worth it? Um... not really. I think I'll probably shell out the cash and go to a professional next time. To think I once gave Bon advice about seeing a waxing professional. I think this is what they call, 'Poetic Justice'.

Anyway, because I wasn't quite humiliated enough and I'm just begging for people to tell me what a moron I am I'm posting a picture of my mutilated under arm.



And then to give you something pleasant to replace that awful image, a picture of my sleeping angel. The kind of picture I rarely have the pleasure of snapping anymore.

15 comments:

Elicia said...

Ouch, ouch, ouch!!! I have never ever tried to wax my armpits, but if it's anything close to trying to wax the bikini area yourself I totally feel for you! Baby A looks like a little angel though!

On another note, I get to come and visit you tomorrow when I get my haircut. Yippee!

this single spark said...

I feel your pain.

The first time I had my armpits waxed, I did it myself. Could not believe how much it hurt. Now I just epilady the heck out of everything. And visit Cindy once in a while when I get lazy and things get a little too hairy.

Heather Smith said...

OWWWW! That looks painful. I think I'd pay the cash too! And your daughter is adorable!

Carrie said...

OUCH! I am all about waxing the brows, but I don't think I could handle underarm waxing.

Love the pic of your little sweetie.

Valarie said...

oh the carnage! I hope you have the employee discount option the next time waxing day comes around.

That's a sweet photo of baby A.

Dawnyel said...

Phew!! Really glad for that pleasant picture at the end there!! LOL!!
I've never waxed my pits, only my eyebrows. BUT...I now need them done again...I think I'll find a professional and not try it myself...not that I could do it myself anyway....

kate said...

i've always wanted to wax, but been a scaredy cat. and now i see with good reason!!! ouch!!!!

LynAnne said...

OUCH!!!!!! Good golly, Mama D, it looks like you survived some sort of medievial torture!

I wont even let my mom wax my eyebrows. I'd rather she stick a needle into the follicles and fry the little hairs to h-e-double-L (electrolysis). I haven't been brave enough to let her do that to my arm pits but I know she had clients that had their bikini region done. I guess its less painful than waxing except it takes longer (though its permanent)

I think I'd rather be slave to the razor :)

DadGuy said...

Eeek!

Yeah... that's one sheck-shay armpit casserole youv'e got going there!

no offense, but I hope you never try a self-Brazillian...
you KNOW I love ya, but I'd never want to see THOSE pix.

Nikkie said...

Ouch! I did that to myself once! I decided to try waxing myself and bought a kit! I'll never do it again! I'll pay someone to do it some time!

That sucks that your salon's person isn't there anymore!

Jenn said...

Yowch! And to think you did it to yourself twice! Kinda funny actually, but then I'm not the one with the butchered pits. :)

I just love how A sucks her thumb. Even in her sleep. How adorable.

Kelli in the Mirror said...

ouch. and ouch again.

But still, it's done, and the thought of not having to shave is appealing....

GiBee said...

OH MY WORD! You are one brave mama! Brave, I say!!!

And baby A is looking adorable as usual! Look at that face!

plantain said...

Oooheeeeh... my butt cheeks were clenching at all the pain being described in that post... I've had eyebrows and stomach snail trail waxed... and that's it... I'm a complete pussy when it comes to anything else... I can't believe I gave birth vaginally to a 9 pounder but am too scared to get a bikini wax...or that I sat every two weeks for 6 hour sessions of someone repeatedly stabbing at me with a tattoo needle (for 5 months!) to get my sleeve done... but would never let anyone near my pits with hot wax... although shaving every day is a pain... my sister does good waxing so i'm getting her to at least do my eyebrows when we get back to OZ...
Oh yeah, hair salon employee discounts are great... product/brushes/eyebrow waxes/ color...

bon said...

HOLY CRAP! I keep commenting as Dadguy! It's me, BON the braindead MAMA!