Everybody's Working For The Weekend...okay, just me

I wish I could be excited about this weekend. (Are you all sick of my crappy attitude yet?) Tomorrow I work. Early. Well, 9:00. And if Miss A gets up at 4:15 and stays up till 5:00 and I can't sleep till 6:00 as was the case this morning... well, yeah I talked about the sucking yesterday. This morning I was tempted to get up at 6:00. I couldn't sleep and what was the point of staying in bed? I reconsidered when I thought about what a long day it would be if I was basically up since 4:15. So I forced myself to stay in bed. Eventually I passed out and awoke to happy noises coming from Audrey's room. I was surprised to find it was 9:30. It has been a long time since I slept that late. Tomorrow I have to get up at 7:00. There will be no sleeping in, regardless of whatever nighttime shenanigans little A gets up to.

Once I get to work I start my day with a bridesmaid from some wedding party I don't know. As I mentioned previously I am doing an upstyles class for my coworkers in May. I suppose this implies that I am some kind of expert on upstyles. Not true. I am experienced. I have been told I do nice work. The main reason I agreed to do the class is because I remember how awful it is to have to do bridal and grad hair and not have a freakin' clue how to go about it. I used to muddle through and because I am a creative person, end up doing a decent job. Over the years I have taught myself how to do this sort of work causing the least amount of stress on myself. Oh and also my client. I feel it is my responsibility to pass this knowledge on to others who still find themselves stressing over this kind of work.

I am often asked if I enjoy doing bridal parties and graduates hair. I smile and say that the times I enjoy it most is when I know the person whose hair I am doing, they trust me, and they are relaxed. Unfortunately, this is rarely the case. Typically, I have never met this person before, they have no idea whether I am any 'good', and they are quite possibly anxious and high strung (if this is their usual state then these emotions are heightened). In which case they are the farthest thing from relaxed. I then have about 5 minutes to gain their confidence, determine how they want their hair (sometimes this is like pulling teeth!) and put them at ease. With all my experience behind me I rarely fail at accomplishing these tasks, but if I do (which happens with the most severely anxious and high strung clients) then I am in for at least an hour of hair pulling (mine, not theirs) stress trying to make this person happy. This is just a little insight for any of you who are not hairstylists.

And, since this is my place to say whatever I want, because I can - In regards to the above: NO ONE CARES WHAT THE BRIDESMAIDS LOOK LIKE. IT IS THE BRIDE'S DAY! Wow. It just feels good to put that out there, you know. That being said, I understand that a bridesmaid wants and deserves to look attractive too. Honking my own horn (honk, honk), I do beautiful work, especially when I have healthy hair to work with. Whether I am doing a bride's hair or anyone else's I put forth the same effort. I have just become a little tired of bridesmaids I see (year after year after year) who would be willing to make the bride late as long as they look good. I can take a little attitude from the bride. As I said, it's her day. She can get away with being a little (stress the word little) bitchy. I prefer it if it is directed someone else's way rather than mine but whatever. Bridesmaids however, regardless of the ugliness of their dress, should be satisfied with a pretty hairstyle and not go all Paris Hilton on their stylist. Tantrum complete.

I usually worry that I'm going to have a 'Paris Hilton' in my chair the day of a wedding party and end up having a really nice girl who I get along with. You know what they say about once bitten twice shy though. That's me. No matter how many thousands of people I make gush, “Oh I LOVE my hair! It's like, totally the nicest hairstyle I've ever had, totally!” I always remember the ones who obsess over every pin, every curl and have that blank enthused expression on their fake baked (now, now, don't be nasty) face. 'Nuff said.




Sunday will be another early morning and one which I need to be very organized for. We are going to the city for the ABA. We aim to leave by 8:00 which means I'll be up much earlier than that packing a bag for Audrey, feeding her and attempting to make myself look like a professional rather than a sleep deprived mother. While Miss A and her dad visit with his family I will be wandering around a convention center buying combs, clips and brushes as well as sitting listening to pretentious hairstylists with fake foreign accents talk about how they charge $500 for a haircut where they come from. Again, I sound so bitter. To be positive (yes, I can be!) it's nice to stock up on stuff I need for work and listen to other stylists talk about their perception (or the perception of the company that they work for) of what's 'in style' as well as watch them do hair on stage. I am fortunate because my boss is a genius and he has taught me almost everything he knows.(He has to keep a bit of an advantage) The downside to that is that I am rarely impressed by the education that other stylists attempt to provide. I've usually heard it all before, like, 8 years ago. (Do I sound pretentious? Maybe I should be up on stage! I would fit right in.)

So there you have it. I will be busy with my 'part time' job this weekend. On a very happy note the friend who was my 'Maid of Honor' is here for a visit. She arrives today and I'm not sure when she's going home. I haven't seen her for over a year and I miss her dearly. So, if I don't write much next week you know I'm with her. We'll be out for long walks, shopping and sipping tea. Yippee! If I can convince her to let me, I'll post pictures of our adventures!

Those Were The Days

I am proud to say that I am learning to survive Baby A's random awakening sometime during the night. Even though it sucks harder than a Dyson vacuum cleaner. To all of you mamas who have been getting up in the night with babies constantly since birth, kudos, well done, you are my hero. I however, have been spoiled.

When Audrey first began sleeping through the night at around 3 months I thought it must be some kind of cruel joke she was playing on me. That I would become used to it for like, a week, and then she'd be back to getting up every two hours. Then I decided my darling baby was trying to make it up to me for putting me through hell and plunging me into what I call “middle ground” postpartum depression. Eventually I began to take it for granted. Yeah, she sleeps through the night, whatever.

Now the nights that she gets up out number the nights she sleeps through. I am back to waking up some mornings saying “Wow, she didn't get up last night.” When she does get up it nearly kills me. The following morning Peter will get up and get ready for work and I will barely hear him. This is unusual. Normally I hear him and then I can't sleep anymore whether I want to or not. Napping is not really something I am interested in unless I seriously can't function or I am sick.

Not that there needs to be a reason for her sudden bout of night waking but I think it may be due to either her teeth or a need to poop. She has been having a little trouble with constipation in the past couple of weeks. I'm not sure why. The last time she had a particularly bad night she finally had a poop the next day (with great difficulty). I guess things must have been working their way through her system and causing her discomfort. Those times when she wakes up it just seems to comfort her when I am with her.

Realizing how crappy I feel with the small amount of sleep lost these days it's no wonder I felt like I was losing my mind after she was born. I cannot cope. I was literally a different person. A person that I didn't like very much. I was miserable and I was a nasty wife and a cranky mother. I think your body does adjust somewhat over time. I did marvel at how I could function at all having so little rest. The trouble I'm having now is that my body is not used to this. Sometimes I get a full night's sleep sometimes I get up at 1:30am sometimes 4:00am. It throws me off and then sometimes the problem is compounded by the fact that after I get her back to bed, I am wide awake. I start stressing about stuff or just thinking about something and I can't shut my mind up. I have made weak attempts at relaxation exercises. I lay there and concentrate on relaxing my feet then my calves then my knees, etc. Sometimes it works. Usually it doesn't.

I'm hoping that this is not a new trend. That she will again be the wonderful sleeper she once was. That I won't have to watch the infomercial about "The Greatest Vitamin in the World" But judging by how hilarious she finds it to be when I yawn I think I'm in for a lot more nights of interrupted sleep.

Family Outing

The great thing about babies is that they are oblivious to problems any bigger than a wet or poopy diaper, being hungry or wanting to be cuddled. No matter how crappy you are feeling they are always there to provide you with a grin that almost washes all your troubles away. This is rather comforting to me right now and provides a nice distraction from my otherwise constant state of sadness. Unfortunately it seems to be something that I just have to 'wait out' for now. If I give it a bit more time I may be able to understand and not be bitter about this awful turn of events.

Again, sorry to be vague but until I know more and am in a better place I don't want to write about it. But I can't pretend it's not happening and that things are all fine and great. That would simply be a lie.



Last night was sort of a first for us. Peter came home from work very tired and I was not up to making anything for supper. Little A was due for a nap and I decided that once she was sleeping I would run and pick up some Wendy's. The flaw in my plan is that she decided she was not, in fact, going to have her nap. Fine. We decided to make it a family meal at the restaurant. Feeling like an awesome and super prepared mama I threw the remainder of a jar of carrots, a spoon, a bib and a couple of wipes in a ziploc bag and we were good to go. When we arrived I wiped down the highchair with a Antibacterial Wipe (paranoid?) and dad got her buckled in while I ordered our meal and a half a cup of hot water to warm the carrots up. Peter was oh so impressed with my mama skills when I popped that jar of carrots in the hot water. I acted nonchalant about it. What's the big deal? I just brought some baby food with us. It totally was a big deal. It was our first meal out with baby. I know it was just a fast food joint but this was a milestone for me. I have avoided eating out with her so far. It just didn't seem like it would be a good time, taking her out for supper. She appeared to love it. She watched the people come and go, liked seeing all the little kids around. She ate her carrots like a champ and she wasn't covered with them by the time we were done. I think our eating out budget may get a bit bigger again!





Afterwards we went grocery shopping which was pushing our luck. Shopping began with me pushing a cart and Peter pushing her in the stroller. Midway through the shopping I was still pushing the cart and Peter was carrying Baby A and pushing the stroller. She ended up back in the stroller by the end and then fell asleep on the way home. Like, not a little snooze. Hardcore, exhausted, opened her eyes for a second and then head drops back to my shoulder sleeping. Peter and I started to sing loudly and jump around to wake her up. It was still one hour till bed time and I wasn't going to mess around with that. Eventually she awoke from her coma, unimpressed. She hung out with dad on the bed in nothing but a diaper until I had the bath ready. I gave her punk rock hair in the bath and she splashed and had a great time. She lasted until the appropriate bed time and was cooperative and went to sleep. I was relieved that she was finally in bed and I could relax until the sadness swept over me again. I fell asleep with tears on my cheeks. Sigh.

Today is a new day. It's sunny and beautiful and I have to work, so that will distract me also. I wish I could just shut off my brain. Or at least the parts of it that worry and feel sad. Haven't they figured out some kind of brain botox yet? They can keep me from frowning but wouldn't it be better if they just injected it into the part of you that makes you frown in the first place. Get it at the source I say!

Before and After

Yesterday I had my hair done. Note the unexciting before and after photos.

Before



After





They look the same except that in one my hair is in pig tails and the other it is down and straight. My makeup looks the same except if you are really paying attention my eyeshadow is gold in the before and green in the after. Thank you Trucco Angel Face. I didn't have my hair cut though I meant to get my fringe cut. Things went how they often go – hurray, quick let's get this done. My co-workers mother was looking after her two year old son and Audrey at her house while we were doing each other's hair. We had to hustle. Therefore, the fringe was forgotten. Perhaps I'll post an updated after later on this week. So what, you may ask, is different? We added highlights. Because I think you care I'll link you to the exact shades. My base color is 6SB and my highlights are 8SB. SB standing for Silver Brown. It's a new color. Exciting. We are going to a hair show on Sunday and we wanted to look fashionable. I'm not sure if I succeeded but you know, at least I tried. Peter, Audrey, my co-worker and I will pile into the car at 8:00 am and make the two hour trip. We will drop Baby A and her Dad off at his brother's house so they can have a visit and she can play with her Auntie, Uncle and cousins. They should have fun. By 4:00 we'll be leaving. A quick in and out trip. Which I am not at all stressed about. Really. I'm not. Or if I keep saying I'm not, maybe I won't be.

It's amazing how long I can talk about nothing of any particular importance. Another reason I didn't write yesterday, besides being busy with vanity, is because I am sad. I hate to be vague but for now that is all I am prepared to be. Something very unpleasant has happened. Not to us particularly but to someone we care about and it affects us in a big way. It is a situation which I am still struggling to understand. I have shed many tears already and I'm sure there will be many more. I want to write about it but I have no perspective about it at the moment so I want to wait until I do. I just know that the next couple of weeks are going to be difficult and your kind thoughts and prayers would be appreciated.

To any of you who may be interested I have updated “The Mama D Experiment”.

Tagged Again!

Sorry for the late post. Sorry that I have barely been to all ya'll's (?) (Oh, and ya'll is my new favorite word) blogs this week. I wanted to, it's just with the cut-a-thon (on my day off) and the vomiting and the and the working it suddenly was Friday and all I'd accomplished was keeping up with things here. Poorly, might I add. Anyway, I was tagged for the same meme by two people Snickers and Gibee. It made for an easy post today although I searched the archives of my blog because I was convinced I'd done this one before. It must have been with email. I SO need a blog search engine or something. It's on my wish list.

4 Jobs I've had in My Life

1. Server for a Caterer
2. Dietary Aid
3. Psychiatric Nurses Aid
4. Mama

4 Movies I Could Watch Over and Over

1. Say Anything
2. Some Kind of Wonderful
3. Pretty in Pink
4. The Matrix

(I have seriously good taste in movies so if any of you haven't seen these - you should. Go. Rent them now. Do it. I'm serious.)

4 Websites I Visit Regularly

1. Dooce
2. Sarcastic Journalist
3. Very Mom
4. My Link List

4 Favorite Foods

1. Lobster
2. Pizza
3. Pasta
4. Chicken

4 Places I Would Rather Be Right Now

1. England
2. New Zealand
3. In the Ocean
4. In my Husband's Arms

4 Books I Could Read Over and Over

1. Catcher in the Rye – Salinger (I hear serial killer LOVE this book! Eeek!)
2. The Stranger - Camus
3. The Enchantment of Lily Dahl – Siri Hustvedt
4. I Love you Through and Through – Bernadette Rossetti Shustak

4 Songs I Could Listen to Over and Over

1. Lovesong – The Cure (My wedding song)
2. Yellow – Coldplay
3. Oscillate Wildly – The Smiths
4. Blue Monday – New Order

4 Reasons Why I Blog

1. I love to write
2. I love to entertain people
3. I have too much to say
4. It relieves stress

So there you have it. More things you never wanted to know about me. Now I am feeling seriously guilty because my husband is alone in bed and I've hardly seen him all day. Don't say I'm not committed ya'll, cause I wrote this first!

6 Weird Things

I survived. Must have been a 24 hour stomach flu. Wow! It was very unfun. Today is a new day, I feel pretty much normal, the sun is shining and my daughter is happily playing next to me in her exersaucer. Things are good. 'The Mama' tagged me on Monday. My task is to tell you 6 weird things about me. I think my weirdness comes through here in this blog every post. Getting pregnant, spending several months feeling terrible and vomiting daily, giving birth, getting hardly any sleep for weeks on end and having a tiny human being be dependent on you for their survival is all very weird. In any case here are six more weird things about me.

1.I am a tomboy. Not in a completely usual way. I'm not a girly-girl at all. But I do wear makeup (mostly for work), I like to do my hair (I like doing others hair better) and occasionally I even wear 'cute' things to bed rather than my standard t-shirt and pj bottoms. Here are some standard tomboyish things about me. I rarely wear nail polish. I love cars, I can identify the make and model of most cars upon a split second glance. I don't wear pink (though I dress my daughter in it almost daily. ?). I don't wear earings or any jewelry other than my wedding rings and my watch (which is a men's watch).

Now some really boyish thing about me. I love to play video games. I always have. I used to play arcade games with my guy friends as a kid. Not only did I play with them, I wanted to be better than them. The guys I played with were very talented so I rarely beat them but it only made me try harder. I didn't know any other girls my age who played arcade games. This love of video games has never gone away and I am still quite good at them although I don't have much time to play anymore. Peter and I play Unreal Tournament together when we get a chance. The other extremely boyish thing about me is that I love to fight. I think it started when I was a kid and watched wrestling with my older brother “Go Hogan, go!” I loved wrestling with my brother and although he was ten years older and I had no chance of beating him I always believed that I could. He would get me in headlock after headlock and I would 'give up' and as soon as he let me go I'd pounce on him again, determined to make him plead for me to let him out of the wicked submission hold I hoped to get him into. This love lay dormant for a while until I began TaeKwon Do. I actually started it to get some exercise and to learn self defense. Then I went to a competition. I still remember how good it felt to have my arm put up in the air by the referee when I won my first sparring match. I was hooked. Don't get me wrong. I love all other aspects of TaeKwon Do. The patterns, kicks and step sparring. But when I strap on my sparring gear and put in my mouth guard I feel electrified. I want to win. It's the only way to fight, in a controlled and safe environment. I love the feeling of my feet and hands slapping against my opponent. I even love it when I get hit pretty hard because it reminds me that I am tough and that I can get hit and be okay. I miss not being in TaeKwon Do right now. The other day when I was cleaning the bathroom I accidentally hit my lip on the sink when I bent down. I had a blood blister and a fat lip. When I showed Peter he winced and asked me if I was alright. I grinned and told him I was. “But you know what is really sick?” I asked him. “What?” “Having a fat lip makes me miss TaeKwon Do and the feeling of getting hit in the face.” He rolled his eyes and laughed at me. He finds it difficult to comprehend this part of who I am. I think most people do but I have a whole lot of TaeKwon Do friends who totally know what that's all about.

Whew! That was a long one! That one came to my mind easily because I think it's one of the weirdest things about me. Peter helped me with the rest of these.

2.The way I pronounce and enunciate words is kind of weird. I didn't think so until I met Peter. He told me that was one of the first things he was attracted to about me. He pointed out that I pronounce words very perfectly and really enunciate them. Examples : When some people say the word button they pronounce it butten. I pronounce it like butt-ten. The same with any word like it, for instance – mittens. I also say syrup like see-rup. See what I mean, weird.

3.I speak cat. No really. I can exactly mimic almost any cat's meows, purrs and other noises. I do it to our cat all the time and he talks back to me. I have no idea what we are talking about but we have long conversations. One time Peter and I were walking and a cat walked out in front of us. I gasped happily and meowed. Peter looked at me like I was nuts and I think he might have been right. It was a totally natural reaction for me to do that. Strange.

4.I laugh out loud at the strangest things. Peter always finds this to be so interesting. He is a big Simpsons fan. I would sit there and watch it with him and not laugh a single time. It's not that I didn't like it or think it was funny. I just don't laugh out loud at normal things. It always has to be something bizarre that no one else would laugh at. When I do laugh out loud at something Peter is always shocked “That made you laugh!?”. Two examples I can think of of the top of my head are

- The Simpsons 'Lord of the Flies' episode when Ralph eats some poisonous berries and says “Taste's like burning.” I laughed really hard.
- The Family Guy when Peter hurts himself and goes “SSSS..............AHHH!” for like five minutes. That was comedic genius.
The fact that this is one of my favorite comedy shows probably speaks to my sense of humor. These links are really AWESOME and you actually get to watch the sketches. I saw these guys live and Dave Foley (who was the voice of Flik in 'A Bug's Life' and is the host of Celebrity Poker Showdown (which I haven't watched) hugged me and kissed me on the cheek after I got his autograph! It was one of the best nights of my life!

5.I can pick out a song in a loud environment by only hearing a beat. I do this at work all the time. It will be totally loud with lots of talking, blow dryers going etc. I will say to my client “I love this song.” They'll look at me like I'm nuts and say “There's music playing?

6.I have a little OCD. Crazy things I do. The toothpaste has to be 'Colgate' facing upwards and cap towards the mirror, towels must be straight and even, after I have cleaned something for some time afterwards I will remove anything, including small specks of dust from it by hand. It must be said that although I have these compulsions I do not inflict them upon my husband, as in, “You must put the toothpaste down the proper way or feel my wrath.” It's more like if I'm in the bathroom and it's not 'right' I will turn it around. Peter caught me doing this once and looked at me incredulously. “Do you do that all the time?” I looked ashamed and admitted sheepishly “Yes.” “Wow! That's pretty crazy.” he remarked. I have to agree but it's not hurting anyone. So far. When it does, I'll go to therapy or something.

So those are simply six of the weird things about me. I know there are more. But it's embarrassing to admit it. I think these things may scare everyone away as it is. That's right everyone, I am a violent sheman with an odd way of speaking. I communicate with cats, have a twisted sense of humor and freakishly good hearing and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I just thought you should know what kind of person I am. Wow, when I put it all out there like that. I do seem pretty weird. Do you think there's any hope for my daughter to grow up a normal child? I'm hoping the people I tag will take some of the pressure off me. So here goes.

Snickers from Random Thoughts of a Tired Mom

The Big FUGR from Confessions Of A Small Town Rock Star

Ya'll are tagged!

Return of the Bucket

I must be dying otherwise I'd be at work. I caught some kind of evil tummy bug. I awoke at 4:00 with horrible pain in my stomach, by 6:30 am was running to the bathroom (thank goodness, that helped). Peter made me oatmeal which I hardly ate and brought me a bucket before he left for work. Me and the bucket go way back. I call him Dave. He was always there for me everytime I got sick during my pregnancy. Unless I was at work, or in the bathroom, or didn't carry him around with me.

I only threw up once and I can't believe I used to barf several times a day for four months straight. Makes me think I'm nuts to even consider doing that again, ever. But as long as I don't get anymore stomach bugs, I'll likely forget how horrible it is again.

I will be back tomorrow. I'm sure of it. For now tell me what you think of this.

A Reply

Regarding yesterday's post. I did receive a reply email. It made me feel slightly guilty for slagging her off on the internet. It was a tad wordy so I'll sum up for ya'll. (Except what's in quotations, that's right out of the email.)

“Dear” Mama D,

“Thank you for responding to my flyer. No, I did not know that you recently had a baby, but congratulations!” (That was my favorite part both because it is smart and polite) I have been handing out flyer so people know about the miracle stuff I sell, yada, yada.

May I ask you the details about when you tried 'miracle cure'. (Goes on to infer that perhaps I was taking it wrong or that the new 'miracle cure' is much better than the old and that if I tried it again it would work better.) I am ½ a century old, weighed about 900 lbs was blind, deaf and had ingrown toenails. “After just 3 days on the products I began to feel better,” I lost 915 lbs, regained my sight and hearing and am now a foot model.

Yada, yada, “lucrative business model” yada, yada. Yada, “medically researched and standardized” yada. Yada, yada, “adopted by many athletes”.

“The Work From Home model also allows many stay at home moms (and grandmas like me) to remain at home with their children and help add $500.00 - $1500.00 to their income on a part time basis. I don't know if extra income would be helpful to your family, but if it would, I would be happy to show you what I am doing.”

“Sincerely,”
Miracle Cure Distributor

Although I said I felt guilty, obviously not guilty enough to keep me from horribly exaggerating her reply email. I am very happy for her that she found these products which healed her many ailments (one of these apparently, was senility). I also think it's great that she believes in them so strongly and that she can make money from home. As for my family, extra income would totally not be helpful at all. But nice try. We're poor and we like it that way!

I'm not sure if I will bother to write her back again but I find myself feeling obligated. Don't worry, I will not be sucked in. I simply can't afford to be. Do you think it's a strange coincedence that my body image has since gone down the toilet? I have been considering taking up jogging (which I hate with much passion) and I've been considering eating better. What up?

I have been tagged by 'The Mama' so tomorrow I will be telling you “6 weird things about me”. It's going to be hard. To narrow it down to six.

For now I leave you with pictures from the weekend. Man, can I ever get a lot done when Peter has a day off! We cleaned up the yard, I made butternut squash baby food, did laundry and we went out on a DATE to celebrate Peter's birthday! (Pictures taken from his Treo) Fun!

Are You Lookin' At Me?

Last week I found a paper in my mailbox. It had an adorable baby in the foreground and a smiling mom out of focus in the distance. In large print it said “How long can you use the 'I just had a baby excuse?'” Excuse me? Oh, no you didn't I thought. I read on. “Time's up! Want to shed those stubborn pounds and get back to your pre-pregnancy shape?” and it went on to tell me about a revolutionary weight-loss program yada yada.

At first I thought, someone has deliberately put this in my mailbox. I mean, it couldn't just be a coincidence that I had a baby seven months ago and it randomly found it's way to my mailbox. Someone named Wanda has been spying on me and wants to sell me revolutionary weight-loss stuff. She's been watching me going out for walks with baby A and has been thinking “Her butt is still way too big, I better put a flyer in her mailbox.” I became paranoid, self conscious and depressed.

I showed it to Peter and he was insulted on my behalf. I told him I thought someone was spying on me. Since the flyer had the distributors name and phone number on it he did a little spying himself. He typed her name into the Canada 411 reverse phone number search. She lives about 10 blocks away. I was relieved that she didn't live on my street. I decided it must have been random but since she also had her email on the flyer I emailed her also. *'s represent actual names I edited out for privacy.

Miracle Cure Distributor,

I received the * miracle cure * flyer in my mailbox. I was wondering if you delivered them randomly or if you knew somehow that I had a baby seven months ago. This seemed a strange coincidence.

I'm sorry, but I am not interested in starting * miracle cure *. I tried * miracle cure * before and it did not work for me. I was disappointed because it was expensive and I really wanted to see results.

I am not carrying extra weight since my pregnancy and am presently content with my current size.

Looking forward to your reply,
* Mama D

So, we'll see what kind of response I get.

I feel a bit bad because my friend sells this stuff. I did try it a few years ago and although it worked wonders for her it didn't do a thing for moi. C'est la vie. I'm over it. I only gained 20 lbs during my pregnancy and afterwards I ended up 10 lbs lighter than before I got pregnant. That's like, the only time in my life that that has happened. Barfing a minimum of two times a day for four and half months will do it to you EVERY TIME! I think I may have preferred feeling better and gaining a few more pounds but oh well. Maybe next time.

Now, if there was a miracle cure for my saggy tummy, stretch marks and stitched up Va-J-J (besides plastic surgery) then I'd say “Bring it!”

P.S. Update at The Mama D Experiment

Happy Good Friday and Easter!

Be back on Monday. Mama D, out!

That's It. We're Potty Training

Disclaimer: If you are disturbed by the mention of the words – poop, pooper, or poo and talk of such things in great detail, please don't read the following.

I'm just kidding really. I'm not going to be one of those people who tries to infant potty train. I mean, who has the time to “Study your baby’s elimination timing and patterns”? I certainly don't. But the reason I bring it up is because there have been some new disturbing developements regarding Baby A's BM's.

You see, Audrey has never been much of a pooper. I've written about this before. When she was first born she went through the poop progression. Then because she wasn't eating a lot she became a little constipated. We left the hospital waiting for the next poo. When it finally came Peter and I celebrated by doing the poo dance. For several months she was a poop once a week girl. It was a little disconcerting. I really had to think about how long it had been since she'd had her last poop. An interesting problem that arose with this lack of bowel movements was that our diaper genie which is supposed to keep the poo smell contained – started to smell rank. We finally deduced that if she was going several times a day as most babies seem to, we would have had to replace the bags already. The diaper genie is good, but it can't contain the fowl odor of two month old dirty diapers. When we opened that canister we unleashed the most evil smell on the world. We snipped the bag, tied it up and tossed the sausage linked diapers into a toxic waste container to be disposed of properly.

In the following months her BM's became a little more frequent and we found this to be a relief. No more worrying about how long it had been since the last one. Our little girl was becoming regular. Hurray! When we began feeding her cereal I was prepared for the 'new poop'. I had heard about it. It would be bigger, better and more stinky. I was happy to find it wasn't as bad as I had expected. A bit more smelly, more of it, but still manageable. And yes, I realize we have been very blessed.

Then this week we started vegetables. Dear me. The vegetable poops. They are big. And they smell very bad. There is a reason I don't work in a nursing home. I couldn't deal with the diaper changing that must be done. These new poops seem so grown up. Up until now I had prided myself on my lack of disgust when it came to these matters. When you have a cat you have cleaned up all kinds of nasty messes. But these new poops take the cake. Should I mention poops and cake in the same sentence? Too late. Diana I salute you. You have a much stronger stomach than I.

After doing a little skimming of this article I may actually consider it. But probably not. Now that I have ruined all of your appetites, enjoy your day!

Don't Mess With My Routine, Fool!

Yesterday was a strange day. Although it was a day off (ha!) for me I, of course, had a long list of things I felt I needed to do. Audrey was up at 7:30 am so our morning routine was nurse, eat cereal, play, nurse, nap. During nap time I usually write my blog. She napped for about two hours I fed her and then we ventured out to do chores. Unfortunately this involved a lot of driving around to different places. Such as picking up special protein reduced cat food from the vet's, dropping off a cheque at the church office, and going to the mall. We had to get a gift for our neighbors who just had a baby and we got them a card as well as a birthday card for Peter who's birthday is this Sunday. This all took a lot longer than I had planned. By the time I was picking out cards Little A was so done with shopping. I quickly picked a couple of cards and we high tailed it outta there.

I wasn't too surprised that she fell asleep on the way home. I brought her in, took off her jacket and booties and fed her. I thought I was so smooth. I slipped her into her bed and she immediately opened her eyes. She's tired, I thought, she'll fall asleep again. Not a chance. It was definitely nap time but she wasn't having it. Fine. Punish me. We got a call from our neighbors who wanted to go for a walk. Since she wasn't sleeping anyway I agreed. For almost the entire walk Audrey was whining or crying. Her little friend Sam just looked at her from his stroller as if to say “What up?”. Not too long before we arrived home she fell asleep. I thought I'd be able to slip her into bed and she'd be down for a bit. Nope. She woke up while my neighbor and I were saying goodbye in front of our house. She played happily by herself while I made supper and then she was a total bear for the remainder of the night. Nothing made her happy. I was determined to get her back on track and we kept her up till bedtime. We went next door to give our neighbors their baby gift. Our neighbor looked exhausted. Even though Audrey was crying the entire time we were there I appreciated not having a brand new baby as well as a two year old to look after. We came home gave baby A a bath (she's always happy in the bath), got her jammies on, I nursed her and she was off to dreamland. Sigh.

So, what did I learn from that crazy day? No matter how much I have to do 'stuff' or how much I want to go for a walk, don't mess with the routine. My girl, she thrives on her routine. She is like clockwork. Two hours – three hours after she wakes up she's ready to nap. In a stroller? No. In a car seat? Not unless you are going to be driving for two hours. She naps at my mom's or at my sister's but not as easily or for as long. The nap must be had in her bed. Sometime when I lay her down and she's not totally asleep I swear I see this look on her face that says “Ah, my bed. My room. My spa music.” It's cute really. I just feel a bit tied down sometimes.

I have several friends with young babies and they just take them everywhere, whenever, nap time or not. I am in awe of these mom's. How marvelous that must be. Then I wonder if I am doing something wrong. Or maybe I'm just a wimp for not wanting to do things unless it fits within our (her) schedule? Am I ruining her life and causing her to think that she will always get her way, we will always do what she wants when she wants it in case the world blows up?

I don't think so. I think this is just who she is. Actually, I happen to enjoy those two – three hour naps. So I can't go for a walk right then. Big deal. I can clean, do laundry, cook, read blogs, write blogs, comment on blogs, read blogs. Oh wait, did I say that already? When all is right with her world (long naps in her own bed) she is the happiest baby. She plays happily, eats happily, is fun to be around, doesn't cry incessantly and goes to bed at 9:30 every night usually not waking up for ten hours. When all is not right with her world (yesterday) she is happy for short periods of time, cries a lot, throws her head backwards with frustration, cannot be pleased in any way, goes to bed at 9:30 and wakes up at 4:50 the next morning! Ick. Today is a new day. A better day. She is currently snoozing in her spa room and loving every minute of it. And so am I. So if other mom's can pack up their children and travel the world, good for them. We'll just be at home, doing our thing.

24 Hours, 7 Days a Week

First of all thanks to those of you who checked out The Mama D Experiment. I appreciate all the feedback and will revise as needed. I plan on posting a new chunk of the story weekly, thereby buying myself some time to finish the rest of it. My main reluctance for starting another blog was upkeep but as my darling husband pointed out, since I am posting what has already been written there really isn't much work involved. He was very eager to see the feedback I had received yesterday. Since it was his idea, I think he feels like The Mama D Experiment is his baby and wants everyone to like it.

Enough about that. The title of this post states the shifts I have at my job for about the next, oh, 17 years and 5 months. At least. I don't think this really sinks in during your first pregnancy. It didn't for me. You intellectually know that it will be a lot of work, you'll be tired, it's a long haul. But I know I didn't realize that I would never have time off. Actually, when I'm 'working' at my 'job' I sort of have time off from being a mom. But what kind of time off is that? I have to go to work to get a break? Even then if Little A got sick I would leave work to be with her. She is always my first priority. I'm not complaining. I'm just trying to wrap my head around it.

I guess what got me thinking about this was last night. As I have said before, (and made you all want to take turns kicking me in my rear end) my baby sleeps through the night. Usually. If she doesn't, it's always when I HAVE to get up for work the next day. Last night I awoke many times thinking I heard her whimper. A couple of times I know she cried out but she went back to sleep. This morning I felt like crap. So tired and dragged out. I guess I didn't sleep through the night after all. This happens frequently. That's when I thought about how draining it can be when you always have to be ready for whatever your baby needs. It's daunting. Especially when you are tired or sick or depressed. When you live for their naps so you can have a break and how upsetting it is when they wake up earlier than you expect.

Peter's birthday is this weekend and we are going to go out for supper. It has been a long time since we have done this. I always thought it sounded like a good idea to have a date night every couple of weeks but in reality it doesn't happen that way. Luckily we like being at home and Audrey is usually a pretty easy baby. I don't know how long it has been since we went out together. A while. To be honest I don't think it's something Peter thinks about. As for myself, I think there is a part of me that doesn't think I deserve it. Or I just feel too exhausted to even bother making plans. My sister already babysits for us during the week and I often feel guilty for asking her to look after her more. My mom has found it's getting difficult now that Audrey is getting bigger and more active.

We are now on the verge of a whole new stage of development with Baby A. She will soon be crawling. I am exhausted already I'm not sure how I will handle how much busier life is going to get. Baby proofing has been thought about and planned but not started. Since worrying is my other full time job, I am already imagining all the bumps, bruises and scrapes she will have.







I think I have come to a new stage of motherhood. During my first stage I felt shock, disbelief and despair. Then came stage two when I felt more comfortable, competent and content. Now I have entered stage three. Reality has sunk in. I am tired, I am overworked, I am insecure, I am concerned that I may not have what it takes. I am hanging in there and I do have faith that it will get better again. I'm just a little surprised to find myself feeling this way again. I thought that I had come out of those dark woods into the sunshine. I wasn't prepared to go there again. I know I am coping better this time and I won't feel so totally helpless and out of control. In the meantime I can get it all off my chest here. What a relief that is.

Experiments Can Be Fun

As I wrote waaayyyy back in my first post, as a kid I wrote a lot of stories. As I mentioned in that first post these stories were written on an old manual typewriter. I clacked out many a story until my two pointer fingers we sore and blistered. And then I typed some more. I often listened to Chicago or Air Supply. Don't ask me why. My brother was ten years older than me and I listened to his tapes. In my defense my favorite tape of his was the Pretty in Pink Soundtrack. My point is I loved to write. I'm not saying I was any good at it. In all probability I was not. I read a lot of Sweet Valley High books back then. But oh, how I loved them. I will never know how terrible, or funny those stories were because I do not have a single one. My parents were not big on the collecting of childhood memories for my future. Sad, I know. I think I have one report card from like, grade 4. It's depressing because it says stuff like “She has trouble focusing on her work and often distracts her classmates.” and “Spends too much time socializing and not enough time on her school work.” Yes, socializing is BAD! Better not to socialize and become a socially handicapped freak who ends up taking a gun to work one day and blowing away all her coworkers who she doesn't know how to socialize with. Ahem. So anyway, I don't have any of these stories I wrote.

This love of writing did not die, it was only partially squelched by teachers through the years. I still wrote but I didn't think I was any good at it. A few years after graduating from high school I found a story I had written while still in school. To my surprise I found it to be rather good although I hadn't finished it. I decided it would be fun to improve upon what I had written thus far as well as to finish the story. My love of writing was rekindled and I found I was already thinking about the next story I wanted to write. I was dating Peter at this time and he asked me if I would let him read my stories. I reluctantly let him and was skeptical when he told me he thought they were pretty good and encouraged me to continue writing. He gave me realistic criticism which I appreciated.

During our first year of marriage I began a story inspired by a young man who lived in our apartment building. Peter loves this story. As with most of my writing I have not finished it. Peter found this very disappointing and has often encouraged me to go back to it. I still haven't done it. I was in another dry spell until I began writing this blog. I am enjoying blogging so much and love the community of blogging friends I have met.

I have been satisfied with this amount of writing and don't know where I would find the time to do more. Then Peter made a suggestion to me. He thought I should start another blog where I would publish my stories piece by piece in serial form. He was a big fan of this as a kid. At first I didn't even consider it. Then I couldn't stop thinking about it. I could put stuff I've written out there for people to read, critique and enjoy? Scary? Yes. Interesting? definitely. I think I can take the criticism. I mean, I haven't had any specific education on journalism or taken any writing classes. It's just for fun. If people enjoy it, cool. If people hate it, oh well. If people don't care, whatever. This is why I've called it The Mama D Experiment. I've started with the story that Peter loves and wants me to finish. If other people like it, maybe that'll get my butt in gear to actually write an ending. So check it out, and let me know what you think.

Computers, Bah!

I'm going to admit this right here and now. I am not very good with computers. I like computers. I like what they can do. I like writing this blog. I visit many blogs and drool over them and think they look amazing and dream of having a blog that looks so cool! I think about doing something cool. I study the template. Hey, I figured out how to put in my own links a while ago. Which by the way I just updated. It just scares me a little. Okay, a lot.

It's funny because I am rather inundated with technology. This is because my husband is a computer technician. Let me see if I can provide you with some examples. Our main T.V./DVD player is our computer. We run a program called MYTH TV which is kinda like TiVo, which is like, SO cool you know. All the celebrities have it. So that means I'm cool or something. Yeah. Before you ask Myth TV is only available (that I know of, but hey this post is all about what I don't know, so what do I know?) if you use a Linux operating system.

Mama D: Are you with me?

Everyone: No!

Mama D: Okay then let's continue!

Now, since my husband reads this blog (mostly) I have to tread carefully. After all this post is about me and how I don't really know what I am doing in regards to our computer. You see the frustrating part is that I am entirely at his mercy when things don't work. When Myth TV won't work, I don't know why or how to fix it. When we're out of disc space I don't know what to do. I consider myself to be competent with most things as well as self sufficient. As far as our computer goes, I am far, far from it.

I guess I'm expecting a lot from myself. Everyone has their talents, skills and hobbies. Computer programming/repair/troubleshooting just isn't something I'm good at. As long as everything works I'm all good. I could hire someone to make my blog look fancy, but it would be similar to having someone come and landscape my yard. There would be no satisfaction in it. If my blog looks cool I want it to be because I learned how to make it look cool! I wouldn't mind a little help, or some tips. I may be asking a friend to give me gardening tips this year. I can still respect myself for doing that.

At this time I'd like to give a shout out to those of you who are readers of this (Standard Template) blog. As I mentioned before, I've added links to my sidebar as this is not outside the realm of my knowledge (I've just been lazy). I have to say how much I appreciate being linked by others because, I admit it, I want to be read. These are my new links and a brief description of each.

This Single Spark - A personal friend of mine as well as a fabulous person and writer.
Random Thoughts of a Tired Mom - Also a friend and partner in new motherhood.
Taking the Road Less Traveled - Someone I've read for a long time and regular commenter here. I feel blessed to receive her thoughts and opinions on anything at all.
Owlhaven - An inspiration to all mothers and all around amazing woman.
Toronto Teacher Mom - A homegirl from my very own country. Fellow new mama.
Kisses of Sunshine - A woman of incredible faith and optimism.
Tales of a Rubbaundiesluva - The name of her blog has always had me guessing. Is it kinky or does it have something to do with disposable diapers? Anyway, a great girl!

So there you have it. I am nearly computer illiterate but I soldier on because I love to blog. If I keep doing it some knowledge will rub off on me eventually right?

P.S. I took this photo of myself. Are you impressed?

Meet Our New Babysitter

I may have changed my mind about the time change. Baby A is still sleeping and it's been 11 hours! If only it was a day when her dad didn't work so I wouldn't have woken up. I've been saying to him lately “If she would only sleep one more hour then I would feel rested.” I'm not sure that's true though. I feel perpetually tired now although I do get a good amount of sleep. I wonder how I will feel once I am no longer breastfeeding. That may help with the energy.

I am preparing for a Upstyles class I will be giving at work on the 8th of May. A coworker of mine flattered me by asking me to do it. She told me she thinks I do some of the nicest, most polished upstyles she has seen. Who me? Aww shucks. So on Sunday I brought a couple of mannequin heads up from storage in the basement. I figured I would do their hair up and use them for props at my class. Peter didn't know I was doing this, he was busy doing something else. So I'm sitting on the edge of the bathtub washing their hair and he comes into the bathroom. When he sees what I am doing he lets out a manly “Aaagh!” It freaked him out. He told me his brain registered that I was washing hair but he couldn't figure out who's hair (what's hair!) it would be and when he looked it scared him. I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes. I kept playing tricks on him all day. Once both me and the mannequin head looked around the corner at him and when he saw 'her' he made the manly “Aaagh!” noise again and told me to quit it. More laughter from me.

The weird part is Audrey loves these mannequin heads. I showed one to her and she was fascinated. I started moving the head around and making it look at her, which sounds creepy, but she loved it. Her eyes would light up and she would giggle like crazy. I also found this so funny that it made me cry. Then I actually became a little jealous. She seemed to like this body-less, inanimate head more than either of her parents.



Then I thought I could be on to something. Meet our new babysitter. Mandy Quinn! She doesn't charge for her services, just don't expect her to keep your kids from getting into trouble or anything other than have a constant pleasant look on her face. If your kids are anything like Audrey they will be mesmerized by her blank stare until you come home.

Yes Indeed

Finally in the land of cold, ice and snow it seems to be spring. I have been enduring fellow bloggers (who live in other places where spring comes earlier) talk of warm weather and sprouting perennials and so forth while looking out the window at the yucky weather we were still stuck with.

Well yesterday we went out walkin', yes indeed! I'm not sure what Audrey thought of it. Can any of you decipher this look? Is it “Wow, so this is what the sun is like? It's been so long.” or “Yeah, hi! My mother overdressed me because she thinks it's still winter!!!”



I think the next photo totally says “Okay, let's get this show on the road already. What are you waiting for woman, let's walk!”



Then after much walking, she was so exhausted from being pushed in the stroller she fell into a deep sleep. Until we stopped moving. Then she was very much awake. I thought fresh air was supposed to make a kid sleep better. I wonder why she cried out so many times last night? Maybe she was having nightmares about barking dogs and the sun hurting her little eyes and the embarrassment of being overdressed by her mother. Who knows.



All I can say is I'm glad I can get out for a little extra exercise. Those two trips to the gym every week aren't cutting it as far as I'm concerned. Not if I keep up my steady diet of cookies, bread pudding and ice cream. Hey, don't judge me. Audrey says it makes my milk taste yummy.

The Infection

Okay, I have a bad temper. Did any of you know this about me? Yesterday I was fed up and ready to stop blogging. Would you like to know why? Because I had my post all finished and ready to go but as I was writing it Blogger's 'connection was lost' so I couldn't save it. So I just left the page open like I always do when this happens. I came back to it later. Tried to add a picture. It wouldn't let me do it with out typing in my password which I, um, forgot. Opps. I'll figure it out again. I wrote it down somewhere... Anyway, I decided to publish without putting in my picture and when I did it ate my post and took me to yet another page asking me to sign in again. Blah! This has never happened before. It must be new Blogger protocol. I was angry. Usually I have my posts saved in my word processing program but for some reason I didn't this time. Grrr. I did salvage some of what I had written and as you can see the first thing I was posting about was how I was worried that Blogger is not permitting some of my comments. Read on...

First of all this is my paranoia talking, but I'm wondering if anyone is having difficulties commenting on my blog. I know 'The Mama' was and she wrote about it here. Blogger seems to be acting up a little in regards to comments. Or maybe, everyone just decided I am boring and stopped reading me. Which makes me sad because I enjoy all of the comments I get and I miss them. If anyone is having trouble commenting, if Blogger is blocking you for some reason please email me at crazy_mama_d(at)mts(dot)net and let me know. I'll make some adjustments, and perhaps deal with being spamed just because I want to hear what you have to say!

Next I was infected by something called 'The Indie Virus' by Mary at Owlhaven. I am totally flattered because she wrote “She is a new mom who reminds me of my first days of motherhood 17 years ago.” That blows me away because I think she is absolutely AMAZING and I can't even imagine being the mother that she is. Seriously, 8 kids. Woah dude, I get tired just thinking about it. So the deal with this Indie Virus is that it's very contagious. I'm sorry but some of the people I read are inevitably going to get it.

Chris Pearson from Pearsonified is the creator of the virus and it's purpose is to:
*To bring exposure to lesser known blogs (especially those outside of Technorati's top 100)
*To explore the metrics behind a viral linking campaign launched by the "little guys" (less popular blogs)

So, who's got it? (Click on Virus to go to the blog!)

The Mama is totally infected with The Indie Virus.

LynAnne from Taking the Road Less Traveled definitely has The Indie Virus.

Diana from Toronto Teacher Mom Blog has got The Indie Virus Bad!

Now that I think of it maybe that's why I lost my blog yesterday. It's a symptom of The Indie Virus. I should have known!

I remember what I also wrote about yesterday. I wrote about my darling baby (imagine that) and how she is not the glorious sleeper she once was. On Friday night which is followed by Saturday morning, the one morning I have to be up early to get ready for work, she gets up at 3:00 am. She ate and went back to sleep. Lucky her. Afterwards I lay in bed fretting about how tired I would be and obsessing about the day I had. Then the time changed. She went to bed her usual time on Sunday night but awoke at 5:00 am on Monday morning! We both went back to bed around 6:00 but I ended up sleeping through, except to recieve a goodbye kiss around 7:30, till my mom arrived to babysit at 9:00. I was barely awake when I heard her knock on my door. Crap! I didn't go to the gym. We just made homemade turkey soup together instead. Which was fine except it wasn't in my plan. It's not my routine. I like my routine. Then last night Little A was hyper, HYPER!, till like 11:00. It reminded me of the old days when she stayed up so late. I didn't like it one bit. Then many times during the night she cried out and went back to sleep. It was like having an alarm set to go off every two hours or so. You could turn it off but it still woke you up. I don't know if this is pre-teeth behavior or what but eck. I want to go back to the way it was! Boo Hoo! Today I am going to post a picture if Blogger will cooperate. Evidence of Baby A's soon to be mobility. Look out world!