That's It. We're Potty Training

Disclaimer: If you are disturbed by the mention of the words – poop, pooper, or poo and talk of such things in great detail, please don't read the following.

I'm just kidding really. I'm not going to be one of those people who tries to infant potty train. I mean, who has the time to “Study your baby’s elimination timing and patterns”? I certainly don't. But the reason I bring it up is because there have been some new disturbing developements regarding Baby A's BM's.

You see, Audrey has never been much of a pooper. I've written about this before. When she was first born she went through the poop progression. Then because she wasn't eating a lot she became a little constipated. We left the hospital waiting for the next poo. When it finally came Peter and I celebrated by doing the poo dance. For several months she was a poop once a week girl. It was a little disconcerting. I really had to think about how long it had been since she'd had her last poop. An interesting problem that arose with this lack of bowel movements was that our diaper genie which is supposed to keep the poo smell contained – started to smell rank. We finally deduced that if she was going several times a day as most babies seem to, we would have had to replace the bags already. The diaper genie is good, but it can't contain the fowl odor of two month old dirty diapers. When we opened that canister we unleashed the most evil smell on the world. We snipped the bag, tied it up and tossed the sausage linked diapers into a toxic waste container to be disposed of properly.

In the following months her BM's became a little more frequent and we found this to be a relief. No more worrying about how long it had been since the last one. Our little girl was becoming regular. Hurray! When we began feeding her cereal I was prepared for the 'new poop'. I had heard about it. It would be bigger, better and more stinky. I was happy to find it wasn't as bad as I had expected. A bit more smelly, more of it, but still manageable. And yes, I realize we have been very blessed.

Then this week we started vegetables. Dear me. The vegetable poops. They are big. And they smell very bad. There is a reason I don't work in a nursing home. I couldn't deal with the diaper changing that must be done. These new poops seem so grown up. Up until now I had prided myself on my lack of disgust when it came to these matters. When you have a cat you have cleaned up all kinds of nasty messes. But these new poops take the cake. Should I mention poops and cake in the same sentence? Too late. Diana I salute you. You have a much stronger stomach than I.

After doing a little skimming of this article I may actually consider it. But probably not. Now that I have ruined all of your appetites, enjoy your day!