Guilty Pleasure

This post has an awful lot to do with me being Canadian so if any non-Canadians out there are lost... sorry.

I decided it was time to confess my new guilty pleasure. It all started innocently enough during the usual 1:00ish time that I put Miss A down for her nap. I sit on my bed, nursing her and watching whatever happens to be on television. There hadn't been anything good on (I only have two channels.) during that time slot for a long time. Until a couple of months ago...

They started showing Degrassi: The Next Generation. I used to watch the original Degrassi way back. I admit at first I was kind of annoyed. Thinking 'Why are the playing Degrassi in the middle of the day?'. Next thing I know I'm trying to make sure I see it and if I miss one – I feel disappointed. Then I moved on to taping Fridays episodes because I am working that day.



But today was the day I knew I had developed a full on addiction. Having read ahead here about upcoming episodes (perhaps doing that should have been a clue?) I knew that today's episode was going to be important. So I made sure that I fed Miss A lunch early and got her down for her nap BEFORE Degrassi came on. Sigh.



That's when I knew I had to write about it. Get it off my chest. It feels good to put it out there. I am not ashamed.

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it... Okay, it can stop now...

I just came in from shoveling the steps and sidewalk in front of our house. We must have gotten about 10 cm of snow. I can't complain about the shoveling since I'm always saying how I want to get more exercise and clearing snow that deep is definitely a work out.

Last week we were enjoying mild weather and dry ground. Now the ground and street are completely covered in deep snow. No chance of this amount melting. The snow is here to stay this time.

Although it was basically storming this morning I ventured out. But why? you may ask. What could be so important that you would head out in bad weather? Pictures. Today was the day our family pictures were ready and I wanted to get them. Was it worth it? Of course.



To be honest driving in this kind of weather doesn't really bother me. I mean, don't get me wrong, I wouldn't be venturing out on the highway for a long trip or anything. I just don't think that driving around in the city is SO bad. My ECHO does pretty well in the slush. I seemed to be doing better than some of the vehicles out there. I actually find it fun. It's kind of like going tobogganing in a car. Again, don't get me wrong, I'm not sliding all over the road endangering my life and the life of my child just for kicks. It's just that feeling of cutting through the snow and coasting slowly around corners that feels graceful and reminds me of tobogganing.

Miss A was bundled in her snowsuit from Value Village. She was so cute while I carried her to and from the car. Her little tongue kept poking out of her mouth to catch snowflakes. Although it was snowing profusely it was actually not really cold. It was nice to be out in the fresh air. The weather didn't bother her a bit.

I'm looking forward to finally getting some use out of her birthday present from her grandparents. This sled.



Sometimes weather like this gets me down, but I don't know. I'm pretty cheery. Feeling all Christmas-y and stuff. I'm going to ride this wave as long as it lasts.

Free Time

Yesterday was Miss A's last swimming lesson. (Notice the awesome Speedo bathing suit she's wearing. I found it at Value Village last week. Too bad she only got to wear it to one lesson.) Unfortunately for both of us she was kind of grumpy. She always loves the water though and has a good time swimming even if she is tired. I took this picture while I was in the pool and the instructor was holding A at the top of the slide. Can't you just see the dare-devilish look in her eyes?




In a way I'm kind of relieved that they are finished. It was a 2:00 lesson which meant that she'd be napping about an hour later than usual. Also the weather has just really began to turn ugly. It's officially winter what with the snow, colder temperatures and blustery winds. Not the kind of weather to be lugging a wet kid around in. Not to mention that is one less thing we have to do on one of my 'days off'.

On the other hand we may be bored. It's the only play group type thing that we do other than her getting to play with all the kids at church on Sundays. I may have to look into some other kind of group thing. Something cheap so that if the weather is crappy I won't feel obligated to go and 'get my money's worth'.

I know with Christmas so quickly approaching I won't mind the extra free time. At least for now.

4 - 0

Yet another top tooth. Score: Top 4, Bottom 0. The bottom gums would be totally getting beaten if this was a competition. The top gums are superior. The two middle bottom teeth seem to be trying very hard to come from behind but they just can't seem to make it happen.

I have a couple of theories. One is that bottom teeth don't really matter. My bottom teeth are horribly crooked but my top teeth are straight. My point? It doesn't matter, I have a nice smile because it's the top teeth that count. Who cares if she never gets bottom teeth, right? My other theory is that one of the reasons that my sweet baby has never bitten me whilst nursing is due to her lack of bottom teeth. I could be wrong but if I'm not then it's another reason to be glad they haven't arrived yet.

Can you tell I'm paranoid and just making up excuses for why the absence of bottom teeth is okay? I know it's stupid. Who cares? They'll come. She's not a toothless freak, etc. If I am this crazy over her lack of teeth just think about all the things I'll obsess over when she is older. I need to chill. Tell me to chill.

I've Lost Count

Our winner for this week is the incredible Jenn of And then there were four. She is almost always here bright and early on Friday mornings to submit a guess or just to say “Good morning!” So congrats again Jenn, you are a force to be reckoned with.



'Adventures in Babysitting' was a movie I saw several times. It's not one that goes up in the Mama D 80's Movie Hall of Fame (Yes, that wall exists. In my mind.) or anything but it was/is watchable. I think you can usually tell if a movie was good or not by checking out the IMDB memorable quotes page for any movie. If it's difficult for me to find a decent quote, that makes me recall that it wasn't such great of a movie after all.



My favorite quote from this movie had a swear in it, so I didn't use it. I just thought it was funny. Just proves how naughty I am.

Looking back at these photos makes me laugh. The babysitter was supposed to be a babe! But look at that coat! With a broach no less. How old was she, like 70? Weird.



And then there was Vincent D'Onofrio as 'Thor'. That's right. As in the guy from Criminal Intent. The creepy killer guy from 'The Cell'. That guy. I was shocked too. That is the best part about 'researching' these movies for my game. Finding out which celebrities appeared in these movies way back when.

Say WHAT?

It's Friday again and that means it's time for Say WHAT? The AMAZING 80's quote trivia game. In case you haven't played before, here is the down low – At the bottom of this post you will find a quote from an 80's movie. If you choose to play you must, without using the internet as a resource, guess which 80's movie the quote has been taken from. But here is where the rules have changed. If by Sunday we still don't have a winner anyone may go ahead and Google away. The first person to give the correct movie wins! Fun, huh? Leave your guesses in the comments section and if you are the first to correctly identify the quote, you win! I announce the winner on Sunday and that winner receives acknowledgment, linkage and if they have a profile picture I post that also. I recap the winner every Friday and include all of the aforementioned information. And hey, even if you don't know the answer just give me a shout out. I like to know who's stopped by!

Last week's winner was none other than my friend (and former roommate) Miker G! He doesn't have a blog (yet!) and he would hate me forever if I posted a photo of him so I'm posting a photo of him. With his face pixelized. Too bad you can't appreciate his stunning good looks.



Time for today's quote. Don't forget to come back on Sunday to see if you are a winner. Have fun and good luck!



"Now boys, if either of you give me any grief I swear to God I'll kill you. Dead, murdered, stabbed."

Nature Baby

Lately Miss A has been taking a liking to going au natural. Well, almost. She still leaves her diaper on, most of the time.

I often find her after a nap with only her diaper on and her clothes, toys and blanket are all tossed on the floor below. She will wave at me when I come in and point to the stuff on the floor as if to say “Look Mama! All my stuff is on the floor. How'd it get there?” Gee, I have no idea. I also can't help but wonder if she is making a soft soft to land on when she decides to catapult herself out of her crib and onto the floor below. I wouldn't be a bit surprised. As it is, when I go in to get her she is often so excited she runs back and forth in her crib as though it is a gymnasium and rams into the ends with her round little belly. She is a wild child.




The other night while I was trying to put her to bed and she was not cooperating I put her pajamas back on her three times. She wouldn't leave them on. It was pretty funny at first but by the third time I just wanted her to keep them on and go to sleep for goodness sake.



Since bathing involves being naked, she loves her bath. She has just started to lay down on her tummy and splash around she also enjoys dunking her face in the water and blowing bubbles. Thanks to swimming lessons she is definitely not afraid of the water. (Sorry I pixelized her tushie but I just can't help thinking about the perverts out there.)



Today, I had to laugh. She had ripped off her pajamas, climbed up on the loveseat and was persistently putting on her shoe. Because, you know, I ALWAYS take her out with only her diaper and shoes on. In the winter. Sigh.

Goodbye Baby A, Hello Miss A

The other evening I spent over an hour folding up A's baby clothes and packing them into a large plastic storage tub. I was amazed at how nostalgic I felt looking at all the tiny sleepers, outfits and especially her little black Robeez.





Again I was struck with regret about how little I enjoyed that time in her life. (I know Beth, I'm over it. Really. I am. Almost.) Maybe I'm deluding myself but when I think back to those days now they didn't seem so bad. She couldn't go anywhere or get into anything. She couldn't take off her clothes or hide her shoes. Why was it so hard? Oh, because she rarely slept and didn't eat well. Right. That's why.






Still, packing away those clothes made me think about a lot of things. What if our next baby is a boy? Very few of her baby clothes would be suitable for a boy. Not even the sleepers. Somehow the thought of pulling all of this stuff out again for another little girl seems exciting and the thought of possibly having to get rid of most of it is sad. Not that we wouldn't like to have a little boy, but... you know. Or maybe you don't. I don't even know if I know.






I guess I'm just surprised to see how fast she is growing up. She is learning to do new things all the time. She is climbing and descending stairs. She can get down off of our bed. She is saying more words all the time and talking more in general. She's just so big. She used to be such a peanut. Here she is just over a month old in one of the sleepers I packed away. She's all yellow and sleepy still. It almost seems like a lifetime ago...

Numb

I stopped in to my workplace yesterday to pick something up. Our receptionist was the only one there since Monday the stylists don't work. We are chatting about nothing in particular until she hits me with it. “So, how do you feel about the book?”

'The Book' she is referring to is this one. If anyone ever told me ten years ago that a book like this would be written about a member of my family, I never would have believed them. Or if I did, I would have prayed every night that it wouldn't happen. But it did happen.

So the big question is, how do I feel about 'the book'? It's difficult to explain. The easy answer is that I'm not surprised. I mean, the whole thing is like an episode of CSI. It was begging to be written about. But see, it really happened. To us. To Erin.

The author, Mike McIntyre was on the very same program I appeared on in October just last week to promote his book. I have a hard time hearing him say things like "It's all very exciting" in regards to the launch. I was thinking "It's all very sad" might have been more appropriate. I just shot him an email asking about the proceeds of the book. I hadn't asked my sister a lot of questions. I knew the book was being written. I recently found out that my sister and her husband were unable to keep it from being written. They decided to contribute in hopes that people might be able to see past her being a victim or a troubled teen and glimpse the person that she was.

The thought of people reading a book about my nieces horrific murder and the subsequent investigation/RCMP sting as though it is just an interesting story disturbs me. The fact that pictures like this one have been used, one which I took of her and another niece (who was cropped out), makes me feel ill.



I often wonder if I've even begun to heal from this tragedy. I have tried to be strong for my mother, for my sister and for her other children. Peter is really the only person who has witnessed those times when I have crumbled into sobbing heap somewhere from the unbearable sorrow. And then I pick myself up (with his help) and carry on because I see my sister do it every day and I know that it is much, much harder for her.

So when people ask me about what happened, or about the book, I tell them what I think. I don't cry. I'm not angry. It's not because I don't care. It's because I am numb. I only hope that once the hype dies down from this book launch things will get back to 'normal' again. Because it has really stirred up a lot of pain for the people who are living with her loss. And we've all had enough pain to last us a lifetime.

Biting

Last Friday I dropped Miss A off at her babysitter as usual. I had to write the sitter a cheque so I just put A down and she toddled off to play with the toys. Some of the other kids were already there including a little boy that is a few months older than A. He has been there before on Fridays but not every week.

While I was writing out the cheque I suddenly heard the sitter say “No Biting!” I turned around to see her scolding the little boy. A was laying on her tummy looking shocked with her mouth agape. Then she broke down crying. The sitter quickly picked her up and I went over to see if she was okay. She pulled A's shirt up to reveal teeth marks on her back/shoulder area.

Inside I was horrified. Teeth marks! On my little girl! I glared at the little boy which was silly because he just stared up at me, oblivious to what he had done. She had stopped crying almost as soon as she was picked up and she wasn't even interested in coming to me. I was kind of relieved because it was getting late and I had to get to work. The sitter explained that this boy had become a bit of a biter and that he seemed to do it for no reason at all. I think I could have understood it a bit better if it had been over Miss A stealing a toy or something.

My sitter was clearly upset and felt terrible. I tried to pretend that I wasn't the least bit concerned. “It's okay. Don't worry.” That sort of thing. She must have thought I was a terrible mother. “Doesn't she care that her daughter just got bit?” Yes, I did care. Yet for some reason I felt compelled to act all cool and collected so that I wouldn't make anyone feel bad. Why do I do this?

The whole time I drove to work I felt sick. I prayed that A could protect herself from this wee biter while I was at work. I felt guilty to have to leave her there knowing that she might be bitten again. I kept seeing the teeth marks on her back and hearing her heartbreaking cry.

Peter picked her up later and when I arrived home I asked him if our sitter had told him about the biter. He said that she had and that he'd bitten her again later, this time on the finger. I was angry and inspected her little hand and couldn't see any evidence of injury. He also told me that apparently after that time whenever he even came near her she put up her hand like “Stop it right there buddy!” and kept him away. This made me proud. It was good to know she could defend herself. Peter told me he was annoyed about the situation. He couldn't understand why this kid would bite her either.

I'm trying to keep things in perspective. I don't think that A is going to be a biter. I think she'd already be doing it if she was that way inclined. But our next child could be. The shoe would be on the other foot then. What would I do if it was my child that was biting? How would I feel? Terrible I'm sure. And I would be at a loss.

Any experience with this out there? Any tips?

The Outsider Wins

My quote this week was Peter's idea. It comes from 'River's Edge'. This was not a movie I saw in the 1980's. In fact, I didn't see it until my husband and I started dating. And, though I hate to bring it up due to the fact that I'll be ostracized about it all over again, I fell asleep during the first time we watched it. We own this movie now and I have since made it through the whole thing without falling asleep. I like it. I recognize that it is a good movie, I just don't love it.

Peter and a few of our friends however, do. Here's a cute little story. One of the first times Peter met the aforementioned friends we were driving somewhere together. For some reason they started spouting out dialog from 'River's Edge' and were mightily impressed when Peter joined right in without missing a beat. I believe that was the moment that they both silent gave me their blessing to marry him. So I did.

When no one was guessing the quote Peter sent our friend a quick email telling him to check it out. That is when Say WHAT? was hijacked by Mr. Fugr and Miker G. I'm not sure if he just made up the dj sven part or if another friend of ours was with him at the time. Anyway, just thought it all needed a little explanation. Since Miker G would never speak to me again if I posted his picture I'm doing it anyway... but I've protected his identity.



I can't deny that 'River's Edge' has a fabulous cast. Keanu, Ione, Crispin. They are all great. There is a lot of entertaining dialog contained within. But as Peter pointed out when we were choosing a quote – most of it has a lot of swearing. I'm not sure how we managed to find a good one without any cussing. But we did.







Till next week...

Say WHAT?

It's Friday again and that means it's time for Say WHAT? The AMAZING 80's quote trivia game. In case you haven't played before, here is the down low – At the bottom of this post you will find a quote from an 80's movie. If you choose to play you must, without using the internet as a resource, guess which 80's movie the quote has been taken from. But here is where the rules have changed. If by Sunday we still don't have a winner anyone may go ahead and Google away. The first person to give the correct movie wins! Fun, huh? Leave your guesses in the comments section and if you are the first to correctly identify the quote, you win! I announce the winner on Sunday and that winner receives acknowledgment, linkage and if they have a profile picture I post that also. I recap the winner every Friday and include all of the aforementioned information. And hey, even if you don't know the answer just give me a shout out. I like to know who's stopped by!



Last week's winner was Stephanie from Adventures in Babywearing. It was her first win and hopefully not her last!

Time for today's quote. Don't forget to come back on Sunday to see if you are a winner. Have fun and good luck!





"Get your nunchuks and your dad's car. I know where we can get a gun."

The Job

As I had mentioned in a past post. My darling husband has a new job. It is not my place to go on about what a fantastic job it is, why and start giving particulars. What I will do however is tell you all how it has positively affected me, Miss A and our family unit in general.

One of the biggest things that I am enjoying since he began his new employment has been my piece of mind. I especially noticed this when the weather began to get a tad ugly. You know, cold, snow, freezing rain, ice... At his former job he was often required to drive all over the city and often out of town. If the weather was bad it didn't really matter and he'd still have to go because 'THE WORLD WILL END IF A COMPUTER IS DOWN'. (Just so you know.) One of his former coworkers actually hit the ditch once while driving on terrible roads. I find it comforting to know that he now only drives to work and then home again. I only have to worry about him for about fifteen minutes twice a day. As opposed to the approximate nine hours I used to worry about him. (Although sometimes I'd just call him to make sure he was okay.)

The next is the fact that his work day is much shorter. This falls into the category – good for everyone. He is less tired, less stressed, happier and gets more time with us. How could that be a bad thing? It just can't. It works out really well on the days when I work because it means that she is hardly with a sitter on Wednesdays and Thursdays and he can pick her up on time (since there is no telling if I will ever be done when I should be) on Fridays. And Saturdays are always Dada and A days. No more working on the weekends. Sigh. Except for me.

Having him home earlier on the days when I don't work has motivated me to cook actual meals. I'm not sure how this makes a difference but it does. Plus Miss A doesn't get impatient waiting for supper and or I feed her early so she doesn't have a total melt down. We now sit down together, AT THE TABLE, and eat our meal. This is a very exciting development in our household. Not that I don't miss the old days of eating on the couch together while watching 'The Daily Show' from the night before. Those were good times too, but change is good.

Then there is the health care benefits package. This perhaps rocks most of all since neither of us had this before. It just feels luxurious. I mean, we could go to the dentist and have our teeth cleaned. And not have to worry about being able to afford it! How fantastic! And Peter wears glasses so his eye appointments and future new frames are covered. If Miss A ends up with his vision, she'll be covered. If she has crooked teeth she won't have to tell all her friends her parents are too poor to fix them. The list goes on and on. It's all good.

I remember the night that he got the call and was offered the position. After he'd hung up the phone he told me,

“I feel like I won the lottery. Is it weird that I feel like I won the lottery?”

No sweetie, it's not weird. Because that's exactly the way I feel too.

Y-O-G-A, Yoga!

I've been taking a Yoga class. I've done quite a lot of Pilates classes before but very little Yoga. This class I'm taking is being taught by a wonderful woman whom I've had the pleasure of getting to know over the past several years. She is a client of mine and she and I have had many fabulous conversations about fitness. She is a fitness expert and has tons of Yoga training and experience.

Deciding to take this class was tough for me because it meant that I would have to choose it over TaeKwon Do. I only have two free nights. I had already committed myself to play volleyball on Tuesday nights. Monday was the only night I had for either TKD or Yoga. I chose Yoga because I was feeling frustrated about only being able to go to TKD once a week. And I had always wanted the opportunity to work out with this client of mine.

I've been taking the class since the end of September. It is specifically a Power Yoga class. Power Yoga is basically not as slow as other forms, you move quickly from pose to pose and all of the poses are physically demanding. Since beginning the class the difficulty level has increased quite a bit. I'm finding that I am keeping up quite well but I definitely find certain poses to be easier than others. This one doesn't look that bad. But it is. At least for me. I can do it but I can't clasp my hands. Turns out I'm not flexible in the parts that make this pose easy.



What surprised me about Yoga is how much it reminds me of TKD. You see in TaeKwon Do while we are working on our patterns we have to hold certain stances. For instance a walking stance with a punch. Not unlike the Warrior pose really.





I'm not supposed to be paying attention to or comparing myself to anyone else... but... I can't help but notice a lot of students seem to struggle with holding the poses. They can do them initially but not for very long. With most poses I feel like I could hold them all day. Except maybe the Crow pose.



Which I really can't do. Lift my feet off the ground? Not happening. But here I am doing the Triangle pose.



Anyway, it's different. It makes me feel strong. And most importantly it relaxes me. Especially at the end when we do Corpse pose. But I'm weird like that. After all, I was a vampire for Halloween.

(I embedded a cool Yoga video. Doing Yoga in these locations would definitely relax a person.)

A Day Off

So yesterday was a holiday for us. Have I mentioned how much I love my husband's new job? We had quite a nice day getting things accomplished. Fixing our drippy sink and fulfilling my lifelong dream of putting Christmas lights on our house. Peter promised me that we could after we cut the enormous cedars down that would have hindered putting up lights along with hiding them. Since they are now history, I held him to his promise. You can see what I mean by revisiting this post.

Anyway, it was exciting. Something else exciting is that Peter was able to come to A's swimming lesson for the first time this session. I loaded him up with both digital and video cameras since I am unable to document our lessons. You know, since I'm in the water holding her and everything.

She was in fine form. Kicking her legs like she's never kicked them before. It was the closest thing she's ever done to swimming since we've been in lessons. Apparently, she likes to perform for her Dada. Thinking back, so did I. Hmmm. He thought she was very cute of course and other than the unbearable humidity in the pool area I think he enjoyed being able to come to a lesson. He was able to come to one of the lessons she was in the last session as well. (Also loaded up with the cameras) He noticed how much more 'lively' she is in the water. It was one of those sweet, sweet parenting moments for each of us.







I also think he realized how tiring it can be to be me. To run errands, go to a swimming lesson and take care of Miss A. I think he would rather go to work. Not to say he doesn't enjoy his time with A and I. (tee hee.) But I think he'd rather just stay at home when he's with us. Having to do anything else at the same time is exhausting.

Also, for those of you who are interested – 'Mama D Experiment' is up. And, no. I don't think it's happening too fast. (Read my comment in Sixteen.)

Winner

This week's winner is Stephanie from Adventures in Babywearing. It's her first time. I can't help but be excited for her. If I didn't host this game I would totally want to win it. And I'd be excited about it if I won too.



I remember seeing For Keeps? at the tender age of 13 when the idea of becoming pregnant scared the daylights out of me. That feeling never really went away even years later when I was happily married and made the decision to have a baby. This movie certainly didn't help with my phobia. It is the kind of movie you watch with your pre teen daughter (I don't think a pre teen son would either tolerate this movie or 'get' it) and use it as a conversation starter about sex.



It doesn't paint a pretty picture of getting pregnant in high school no matter how 'in love' you think you may be or how 'smart' you are.

This movie wasn't a hit but I thought it was quite well done. Of course I love Molly and Randall Batinkoff was mighty cute. All of the actors who played their parents were brilliant and had some very realistic lines in regards to their reaction to the pregnancy. “Young lady you need to learn how to keep your mouth shut and your legs crossed!” In those situations things often are said that we wish we could take back.



Most of this movie was filmed a mere two hours away from where I live. Every time we drive into that city I point out the little church where they filmed the wedding of 'Darcy and Stan'. That ceremony was right up there with the one from 'The Princess Bride' between 'Prince Humperdinck and Buttercup'.

As always when I write these posts I hope I have inspired some of you to see an 80's movie that you may have missed. Tease your hair, put on your bangles and leg warmers and pop it in the VCR

Say WHAT?

It's Friday again and that means it's time for Say WHAT? The AMAZING 80's quote trivia game. In case you haven't played before, here is the down low – At the bottom of this post you will find a quote from an 80's movie. If you choose to play you must, without using the internet as a resource, guess which 80's movie the quote has been taken from. But here is where the rules have changed. If by Sunday we still don't have a winner anyone may go ahead and Google away. The first person to give the correct movie wins! Fun, huh? Leave your guesses in the comments section and if you are the first to correctly identify the quote, you win! I announce the winner on Sunday and that winner receives acknowledgment, linkage and if they have a profile picture I post that also. I recap the winner every Friday and include all of the aforementioned information. And hey, even if you don't know the answer just give me a shout out. I like to know who's stopped by!



Last week Jenn from And then there were four won by identifying the quote EVERYONE knew from 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off'. Today's quote may not be so easy as it is from a movie I love but perhaps not many of you have seen. The new rules may come into play again here.


Time for today's quote. Don't forget to come back on Sunday to see if you are a winner. Have fun and good luck!



“I'm pregnant. Can you pass the turnips?”

Ah! My Aching Back!

So my back has been killing me for about three weeks at least. At first I was blaming it on PMS. Then on M. But those are both over for a couple of days. I have nothing to blame it on now. Except for maybe, crappy genetics.

Several years back I royally put my back out. I was getting on my bike and as I was putting my leg over, something slipped. I had to phone a friend to pick me up. I could barely walk. I was flat out on my back for a week. My physiotherapist at the time told me my pelvis was out of alignment. Whatever. It hurt.

This is not nearly as bad as that. But it's giving me glimpses of that past experience, how very bad it was and how very incapable of looking after myself I was. I stayed with my mother during that week and she looked after me as if I was a baby. The problem is, now I have a baby of my own. I don't have time to have a sore back. I worry about being able to pick her up, put her in her bed. Looking after her requires me to not have a sore back.

As it is, I can barely bend over. I have to brace myself. While I was working on Saturday I was putting foils into my clients hair. Mid foil I sneezed and nearly did a face plant into my foil. My knees just totally gave out on me. That is the sort of thing that scares me to death. I imagine myself laying on the floor, unable to move, in horrible pain. Especially if it ever happened at home. I'm contemplating getting one of those buttons you where around your neck that notify the hospital that “I've fallen and I can't get up.”

On Monday I went to a friend who knows about injuries. He said my back was very tight. That it likely tightened up to protect my spine. He tried to loosen it up. Getting it worked on felt good and it also felt bad. You see I have a very high pain tolerance. I've known this for some time but then it is reaffirmed for me. Like on Monday when my friend used something like this



to work on my back. It helps him drill into the muscle and loosen it up. He told me there is only one other person that he has ever worked on as hard. I am so proud. Proud of the amount of abuse I can endure. I just kept telling myself that it was for the greater good. It would loosen my back up. It would make me feel better. I did feel better, for a while. I was sore in a new way. In a way that felt more like I'd been kicked in the @ss a few times by a horse.

So I am feeling a bit better. I think I may have to go see my 'friend' again. Since my tushie already looks like this...



(Didn't you all want to see my bum? Admit it.)
...it will be interesting to see how much bigger the bruises can get. I really don't care. I just want to feel normal again. Or at least, for my back to feel normal anyway.

The Experiment Has Not Been Abandoned

Four of you out there have probably been wondering whether or not I had given up on 'The Mama D Experiment'. The answer is no. And here is the proof.

If any of the rest of you have no idea what I am talking about you can check it out or I can just tell you. The Mama D Experiment is another blog where I have been posting a story I am writing, chapter by chapter. Now, please understand I AM NOT an author, I have not taken any writing courses of any kind. I write because I enjoy it. But I also think it's awesome if other people get something out of my writing. Which is why I started the 'Experiment'. That and because Peter told me to. I do whatever he says.

When I was a kid I sat at an old wooden desk in front of an old clickity clackity typewriter and wrote stories. Most of which were inspired by 'Sweet Valley High' I must admit. I wish I had those stories now. I think they'd be a hoot to read.



I'm not sure I've come very far since those days of writing SVH inspired stories. My interest in sappy 80's movies also comes through in my writing. There is a reason 'Say Anything' is one of my favorite films.

I just wanted to let those of you who care know that my writing block has lifted. At least for the moment. And I have some more to publish. I haven't forgotten about Jordan and Beth. Just wasn't sure how to get where I wanted to go with them. My Sitemeter for the 'Experiment' tells me you've been there. Thank you. I'm sorry to have kept you waiting so long. I hope this chapter isn't a disappointment.

For those of you who don't give a crap, I'll be back to my tales of poop and giggles tomorrow.