Why?

My job has it's advantages. Like great hair products at cost prices, fabulous cuts (in exchange for a cut from me) and colors (in exchange for a color from me as well as paying for product). I also get to meet a lot of really great people and fill my extroverted social needs. I have mentioned some disadvantages here and here. I experienced something yesterday at work which fell into both categories. I thought about whether or not it was appropriate to write about it here but it really affected me and posed significant questions in my mind. Of course I'm not naming names and therefore decided that it would be safe to put it out there.

I was especially looking forward to seeing one of my clients yesterday. I have done her hair for a long time. She started coming to me several years ago when we were both unmarried and unattached. Over the years she's sat in my chair and told me about everything. I remember her telling me about a man she was dating. One day she came in and showed me the engagement ring on her finger. I did her hair for her wedding day. There was the day that she told me they were expecting. She had sent her husband to me and I have cut his hair several times. Throughout these years I also shared with her these same excitements in my own life. My engagement and the news of my pregnancy. She lent me so many beautiful maternity clothes while I was expecting since it was exactly one year after the birth of her daughter. I have many clients, many of whom mean so much to me. This woman is no exception, especially because we are close to the same age, but mainly because she is an incredible person.

So yesterday she sits in my chair and tells me that her husband has been cheating on her. With a much older woman. And how did she find out? An anonymous phone call from a terribly concerned elderly neighbor. My heart was breaking for her while she gave me the awful details. How this woman was supposed to be a friend of hers. That she looked her in the face so many times knowing what she was doing behind her back. She is understandably devastated, although I thought she was doing incredibly well. She seemed relatively calm which is likely due to her lingering shock about the situation. She feels like this person that she married is a stranger. He seems to have no remorse for what he has done.

I stood there in disbelief as she told me the story. I couldn't help but imagine myself being in the same situation and I felt physically ill. I can't fathom how someone could do that to another person. As she told me there were other circumstances that she'd imagined that would have been horrifying yet, more understandable. For instance, if he'd come home from a weekend away with friends and said he'd cheated and that he was sorry, it was a mistake and so on she could see MAYBE being able to forgive that. But bringing this woman, this friend, into their home over the course of at least two years... is unforgivable. Not to mention the fact that they had mutually decided to have another baby and were trying to get pregnant again.

It blows my mind and I had to talk about it. I guess on one hand I am thankful for knowing such a wonderful person and feel blessed that she feels comfortable talking to me about this. On the other, it is so hard to have clients that you have developed a friendship with share such heartbreaking news with you. I have listened to people talk about deaths, illness's, and breakup's. And occasionally clients have passed away. It's emotionally draining because I feel connected to these people and I really care about what's happening in their lives. I want to do something for them but really all they want me to do is listen. Then they leave and have to deal with the real consequences of what is happening. I am just left to wonder how they are doing and praying that they will pull through. Which is what I'll be doing for this woman and her little girl from now on. They are going to need it.