Work It Out

Yet again I am finding myself frustrated with what I consider to be a lack of exercise in my life. Though I continue to pay for a gym membership I have not gone in weeks. I have hit another wall. I like to go to classes, I don't care what the class is. It could be hip hop aerobics while wrestling a crocodile, I just want to go to a class! The problem the times 9:30 (too early), 12:05 (Hello? Lunch time? Followed by nap time. Do I really want to take a hungry/cranky baby, I mean toddler to the gym?) 5:30. Now 5:30 could almost work. On Monday and Tuesday. The problem? I am going to a Yoga class Monday nights and play Volleyball on Tuesday nights. So should I go work out for an hour and then rush to my next workout? Would I be too tired? Will my husband want to kill me for abandoning him and Miss A for two hours? Probably.

Part of me says if you REALLY wanted to work out then you'd find a way. I do. There are no words to explain how much I really want to work out. I think about it all the time. Obsess might be a better word. I lay awake in bed trying to think of ways around the road blocks but I come up with nothing. I could get up at six and go to the gym from 6:30 – 7:30 and be home before Papa D leaves for work and Miss A wakes up. The thought of getting up that early makes me want to run into traffic. Besides, there are no classes at that time and if I was going to the gym to do the hamster on a wheel thing I could go during the day at a convenient time for both A and I. I cannot express how much I despise using the machines. Thirty minutes on a treadmill, cross trainer or stepper feels like a lifetime to me. I do love to exercise but I have a rule. If it's not fun, or if you hate it, don't do it. That is why I do not jog. It seems like good exercise and it's free but every single time I do it I hate every second. I have friends who enjoy running. To them I say “Good for you!” because the enjoy it. But I won't violate my fun policy.

This is why I do TKD. (yes, I actually enjoy being punched in the face, mostly) Why I played ball, why I'm doing Yoga and playing volleyball. It's all fun. I just want to go to a class with some other people and work out in a group environment without having to worry about my daughter. I don't think this is too much to ask for.

I think other people might disagree. When I've sometimes expressed my desire to do more I have often been met with the response “You are a new mom, you can't do everything.” That statement is so very true. It seems that people think I'm being selfish for wanting to get more exercise. The truth is I want to do it for my family as well as myself. So that my husband won't have to listen to me complain about how I look and my baby has a happier Mama with a better self image, a clearer mind and a better state of being.

I'm hoping that I can figure something out soon. It has really been plaguing me. I don't suppose this helped any. The sad part is how badly I want to do it and how hard it seems to be to make it happen.