A Slap In My Solid Rock Face

Yesterday I had my yearly physical. (Any of my male friends reading can please feel free to quit reading any time now.) I haven't been to my doctor since before I got pregnant. He thoroughly impressed me during that visit when after telling him that I planned to see a midwife he basically told me he disapproved. (Can you sense my sarcasm?) I was surprised to find he had a very stereotypical attitude towards midwifery and was extremely misinformed. I found this to be disappointing and I lost a lot of respect for him.

What I should have done today was told him how wonderful my experience with my midwife was how amazing the birth was and how happy I was that I had chosen a midwife over a physician. I didn't. I was dreading my pap smear. My midwife did my last one during my final postpartum visit and I can truly say it was lovely. She warmed the speculum in hot water first and was so gentle. I barely felt what she was doing. I remember thinking “So this doesn't have to hurt?” It wasn't so bad today. It still wasn't as glorious as the one my midwife had done for me but I wasn't expecting it to be.

As I was sitting in the waiting room I noticed a cardboard standup ad for Botox. I was kind of shocked. This was a regular clinic, with regular doctors and regular patients. I was not at a plastic surgeons or dermatologist's office. Aren't regular doctors supposed to discourage the injection of botulinum toxin into our bodies? Or at the very least NOT ADVERTISE IT IN THEIR OFFICES? Whatever.

Once I was in seeing my doctor and the unpleasantries were over we had a nice little chit chat about this and that. How old is my daughter? Is she walking? That kind of stuff. I mentioned that we were planning to try for another baby in the next year. Then a slightly concerned look came over his face. What was it? Could he tell just by talking to me that I was a horrible mother? Did he somehow know that if I had another baby I would simply loose my mind altogether and Peter would be stuck taking care of the children as well as his insane wife. I wondered what he was about to say. Then he hit me with it. “You might want to consider loosing some weight before getting pregnant again.” It was like a slap in the face. “Have you been eating a balanced diet and getting exercise?” he asked me. I fought the urge to tell him that all I ate was chocolate and I tried to get as little exercise as humanly possible. “Yes, I try to do as much as I can with what limited time I have.” He nodded. I also told him I only gained 20lbs during my pregnancy. I forgot to tell him that I actually weigh less now than I did when I got pregnant the first time. (Peter reminded me of this when I was whining to him about how badly I felt)

I also forgot to tell him that my family has passed down a freakish genetic disorder. My bones are made from solid rock which causes me to weigh much more than my appearance suggests. This comes in handy when people try to knock me over but it is not so good for my self esteem. It is the reason that I NEVER get on the scale (unless I want to intentionally plunge myself into the depths of despair) except at my stupid yearly physicals!!! But how much do I really value the opinion of a doctor who advertises Botox in his office anyway.