Why Didn't I Know About This?

This post contains information that some (male) readers may not enjoy. Consider yourself warned.

Something happened to me this weekend that really freaked me out. Peter and I went out of town to visit his parents. Let me just say that we haven't been away from home overnight since October. That was before Audrey was eating any solids and also before I had gone back to work. It was considerably easier to pack for an overnight trip back then. All I needed to worry about was bringing the Boppy, our clothes, diapers and the like. This time I needed to bring cereal, baby food, a bowl and baby spoon, a bib, my breast pump and it's many parts and containers in which to store the milk. Whew! It seemed to be a lot more complicated.

Anyway, Audrey slept the entire two hour trip and we arrived early Friday evening. It may have been because she had just woken up to find herself in an unfamiliar place but she seemed to 'make strange' for the first time. She is generally a very versatile baby and never minds hanging out with new people. In no time she got over it and was laughing and smiling at her grandparents. She went to bed at a fairly decent hour but unfortunately I couldn't resist the cable television and I stayed up a little later than I should have. She woke at 5:00 and even after a nice breakfast refused to go back to sleep. Her wonderful Daddy woke up at 6:00 and offered to take over so I could go back to bed. Which I gladly accepted. He came back to bed around 7:00 and we slept until around 9:30.

This is when I made my gruesome discovery. While in the bathroom I found that I had started my period. (I thought about saying 'Aunt Flo' had come to visit or something nicer but I'm not in the mood.)

I was amazed at how many emotions I experienced when faced with this. I was shocked because I hadn't expected it while I was still nursing. I was annoyed because I was almost totally unprepared, though luckily had a few girly items in my overnight bag to tide me over for a while. I was worried, I thought it had started because my milk supply had decreased and this is why my daughter had been waking in the night for the past couple of weeks. I felt guilty for being unable to nurse her as often last week and concerned that this was the consequence. I was also depressed because of everything this could mean. Had I caused this to happen? Would I have to stop nursing?

As I may have mentioned previously, I am a control freak. I hate things that are out of my control. I had imagined that when I was ready to wean Baby A I would and after she was weaned my period would return and I would then expect it. This was totally unexpected. I emailed some friends who told me that women often start their periods again after their babies begin eating solids. I felt so uninformed. I felt like the little girl who gets her period and doesn't understand what's going on. (Not that I was that little girl. I knew what a period was and I wanted to get it. Stupid me. I was ready to become a woman! Ha!)

I have friends and sisters who have had babies. Why didn't I know that this could happen? The only time I had heard about it was from a girl in my La Leche League group. She had talked about her milk supply decreasing and then getting her period. She began taking Domperidone which increased her supply once again and I assumed afterwards she no longer got her period. So my interpretation was if I had gotten my period I was obviously starving my baby. I felt panic. Until I received the replies to my emails which reassured me.

Now I am just dealing with the fun that is crankiness from regular mama sleep deprivation and the added crankiness from being menstrual. My husband is such a lucky man. I was a lucky woman until this weekend. I was loving the combination of no longer being pregnant while continuing to not have my period. I guess that kind of honeymoon can't last forever. I laugh at the fact that perhaps this is my body's way of telling me it's time for another baby. 'That is a funny joke body. You are so wrong, it is not yet time.' I suppose it is good to know that we could try, if we in fact wanted to. Which we don't. Not for at least another year and four months... and 5 days... and 8 hours... control freeeaaak!!!

The fact that she's started doing this stuff will suffice as birth control for a while.