Damned if I Do and Damned if I Don't

First I'd like to say thank you to all the people who commented and gave me their opinions regarding vaccinations. Although all of the people who commented were in favor of them. Guess what? I've decided not to get them done tomorrow. Please don't think I'm ungrateful. I wanted to get opinions because since before I even gave birth to Little A I had my concerns about vaccinations. Let me give you our background.

Several years ago our nephew (on my husbands side) was diagnosed with Autism. This was before Peter and I were even married. Before he was diagnosed we watched his brother and wife go through the agonizing journey of trying to determine what exactly was the matter. Then after the diagnosis trying to deal with what exactly it meant and how to move forward from there. During the process of looking for reasons why their son had autism my sister-in-law found some information regarding the link between Autism and vaccinations. I would have never known about this had it not been for her. Now, years down the road we have our own child and are faced with this difficult decision. Should we vaccinate?

I did what any parent would do. I read. And read. And ask questions. And read. Of course some of you may say I didn't read enough, or didn't read the right books or articles. This could be true. I tried to read non-biased information. I talked to my sister-in-law. She told me that their second son had all his vaccinations except for the MMR at 12 months. Based on this information I took Audrey for her two month shots. I gave her the Tylenol a half hour before as instructed. Later that day after having the shots she was feverish (which I know is normal) and didn't eat well for almost a week. I felt terrible. I called my friends with kids and asked them if this was normal. They said I shouldn't be concerned. I felt sick. During the following week any behavior that was different than before the needle made me paranoid. I was convinced a genetic switch had been triggered and she would never be the same again. Eventually, she seemed to be back to 'normal' again. I was relieved and vowed not to get her next needles done. But during the past two months I began to change my mind again. Maybe I had over reacted. Maybe I was wrong.

Here are some things I have read that caused me to worry in the first place.

Thimerosal is a preservative. While the use of mercury-containing preservatives has declined in recent years with the development of new products formulated with alternative or no preservatives, thimerosal is still used in certain antivenins, skin test antigens, and ophthalmic and nasal products, in addition to certain vaccines recommended for adults or older children.


As a precautionary measure, the Public Health Service (including the FDA, National Institutes of Health [NIH], Centers for Disease Control and Prevention [CDC] and Health Resources and Services Administration [HRSA]) and the American Academy of Pediatrics issued a Joint Statement, urging vaccine manufacturers to reduce or eliminate thimerosal in vaccines as soon as possible.


In its report of October 1, 2001, the IOM's Immunization Safety Review Committee concluded that the evidence is inadequate to either accept or reject a causal relationship between thimerosal exposure from childhood vaccines and the neurodevelopmental disorders of autism, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), and speech or language delay. Thus, while the available scientific data do not establish that these neurodevelopmental disorders are caused by thimerosal, at the same time, they do not establish that these neurodevelopmental disorders are not caused by thimerosal.

However, in these studies a minority of children appear to develop normally and then suddenly manifest all the signs and symptoms of autism, leading to the diagnosis of "regressive" autism. These children may have a genetic predisposition to autism that requires an environmental stimulus to trigger. The environmental agents that may trigger regression are not known.

The FDA is encouraging the reduction or removal of thimerosal from all existing vaccines. Much progress has been made to date. The FDA has been actively working with manufacturers, particularly those that manufacture childhood vaccines, to reach the goal of eliminating thimerosal from vaccines, and has been collaborating with other PHS agencies to further evaluate the potential health effects of thimerosal. In this regard, all of the routinely recommended pediatric vaccines are now manufactured as either thimerosal free or thimerosal reduced presentations.

This is all taken from the US Food and Drug Administration website so I consider it to be one of the most unbiased sources of information. And what do I conclude from those excerpts?

-Mercury is poison.
-Thimerosal has Mercury in it and is in vaccinations.
-“They” won't say thimerosal causes autism, but “they” won't say it doesn't.
-If it does it is only in a “minority” of children anyway.
-“They” don't know crap.
-“They” are trying to remove thimerosal from vaccinations because it could be very bad and want to cover their butts.

My other sister-in-law was visiting this weekend and we spoke about my vaccination dilemma. She told me that she had delayed all of her kids vaccinations until they were older especially in the case of her youngest son who was born after our nephews autism was diagnosed. He just turned four and had the MMR. She said he did have a unpleasant reaction. His arm swelled badly, was itchy and he had a huge purple blotch on it. I was glad to get her opinion since she shares my concern. If autism can be genetic, it has shown up in our family and could potentially be triggered by a vaccination I do not want to take a chance. I will wait until Baby A is older, bigger and can possibly handle it better. My sis-in-laws kids were okay waiting until they were older, I'm sure she will be too.

Perhaps I am making a mistake. I may regret my decision but I am simply not prepared to put her at risk. I realize I sound paranoid but I tell myself I have reason to be. I have seen autism up close and personal and it is a lifelong struggle for everyone involved. I am not willing to vaccinate her right now in case she is one of the few children who may have an adverse reaction. I know people may strongly disagree with me or have suggestions. Please do leave comments about it. I have had a difficult time finding information about this and want to know what people think having read what I have posted. Thanks a lot.