Monday, February 05, 2007

Saying Goodbye

The funeral was on Friday afternoon. I left Miss A with her Grandma for Friday night. My first night away from her. Not the most ideal circumstances. It was nice to know that she was in good hands as well as a relief to be able to be there for Peter and his family without also having to worry about my toddlers needs.

The day wasn't as awful as I had expected. I think my husband was right when he told me he thought we'd all done most of our grieving at the hospital the previous weekend. I think there will be much grieving to come as the reality of his absence sinks in.

I have already been missing his weekly emails. He wrote in such a way that you could actually hear him speaking to you while you read. This is an excerpt from an email he sent me after my birthday in August.

“Well 'D' do you feel really old now? I am glad you have reached 30. It won't be long until you are forty and then you will realize how much wiser you are.”

Words cannot express how much I miss him already. The only thing that makes me feel less sorry for myself is thinking of how much Peter, his brothers and his mother must miss him.

I wish that A was older and knew him better. They would have been great friends. They already were. I am glad we have so many pictures of them together like this one from Christmas.

At times pictures can speak louder than words.


bon said...

My heart is breaking for the D family. Sigh.

Wish I had something cool to say that would magically ease things for you and Peter. Sorry.

code yellow mom said...

That picture is so precious.

You are right, grief will come and go for a long time. It is such a blessing to have such precious memories, though.

Thinking of you in this time of loss.

Nikkie said...

I am so sorry for yours and Peters loss. I know there isn't anything I can really say that will make it all better. I'll be thinking of you and Peter.

plantain said...

What a sweet picture. There is nothing like cuddles from Grandparents. I am so sorry for your loss.

jen k said...

not exactly the happiest time to leave my first comment eh?

well, i hope everyone is hanging in there..

its times like this that we really start to pay attention to the little, everything things that happen in our lives!!

if you ever need anything D, you know where to find me!!

Dawnyel said...

I'm glad you have some emails and pictures to remember him by. It's SO hard to lose someone! *HUGS*

tracy said...

i am so sorry to hear of your loss. the memories, and knowing that he lives on in miss a, will carry you through. (i lost my dad 5 yrs ago feb.17)

beth said...

That picture is just so beautiful. What a joyful man - so proud to be holding her.