Tuesday, June 10, 2008

A Lesson in Knowing When to Shut Your Mouth

So you are at the mall minding your own business when someone you know walks by. You turn excitedly to say "Hello" and realize that you don't actually know this girl. She smiles at you and asks you if you thought you knew her. You sheepishly tell her yes and instead of going on minding your own business you begin to walk alongside this girl and her young toddler who she's pushing in a shopping cart. You talk to the toddler in a goofy voice and she stares at you while sipping on her smoothie. You notice the girl is rather pregnant. You make some dumb remark about your observation. Then you start to ramble on about how your own daughter was married on the weekend and how you are so tired and happy that you took Monday off. The girl nods politely and you notice she looks tired too. Of course she does. She's pregnant and she has a small child as well. You decide to carry on your own way and continue going straight as they begin to turn the corner towards the grocery store.

THIS IS THE POINT WHERE YOU SHOULD WAVE GOODBYE AND NOT SAY ANOTHER WORD. THE WHOLE CONVERSATION HAS ALREADY BEEN REALLY STRANGE AND AWKWARD. THE GIRL HAS REALLY BEEN RATHER POLITE AND UNDERSTANDING CONSIDERING YOU DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW HER AT ALL. YOU DEFINITELY SHOULDN'T SAY WHAT YOU ARE THINKING FOR MANY REASONS BUT MAINLY BECAUSE YOU ARE A MAN AND HAVE NEVER CARRIED A CHILD. SO DON'T SAY IT, OKAY? DON'T. REALLY. DON'T.

"Are you having twins?"

YOU SAID IT.

"No."

And the girl's back is turned to you so you can't see her expression. You hope she isn't too offended. It was an honest mistake wasn't it? I mean, Wow! What a belly! Oh well.

*Peter took this picture on Sunday night. Does it look like I'm having twins to you? (If your answer is yes, I don't want to know.)

11 comments:

shoeaddict said...

Really, no. My best friend's sister had twins and carried them to 38 weeks and she could not wear cute pjs. You look great.

bon said...

I laughed right out loud at this!

People... NEVER ask!!!! I don't care if a woman is having to use a shopping cart to lug her @%$# belly about as she walks. Don't do it! All it translates into is... "Holy #%$@ you are huge!" And you really don't want to say this. Really. (sorry for the symbolic expletives, but my internal dialog deteriorates a little {lot} when I am pregnant)

The only thing that you, especially as a stranger or mere acquaintance may safely say in regards to a pregnant woman's appearance is the following...

"You look lovely!"

aaand that's about it.

Sincerely... if you lived anywhere near UT, I would strongly suspect that you had had a run-in with my FIL. Now I need to make sure that he has not recently visited Canada.

Carrie said...

No, you don't at all. I think men just don't really know what a really pregant woman looks like. If his daughter just got married, he probably doesn't remember his wife's pregnancy.

bon said...

And by the way... you look like a pregnant woman in singleton city. Seriously... if you were like five or six months pregnant, then I'd think maybe.

But I still wouldn't ASK!

Sugarmama said...

Oh, for goodness' sake! You don't look like you're pregnant with twins AT ALL! Seriously, you just look pregnant. Some people...(grumble grumble grumble)

elizasmom said...

Yeah, LOL here, too.

A friend of my husband's made a fat joke once when I was at about 8 months. If it had been a more socially adept person, I would've sat on him and crushed him, but as it was, the remark was so far beyond the pale of what was acceptable that I actually was amused about it for days after, in a boyfriend, you have NO IDEA sort of way. Sometimes, you can't help but feel sorry for them, they are so utterly lacking in clues.

Also, for the record, I'm with everyone else, that looks like a totally normal singleton pregnancy belly to me. If you can still fit through a doorway, it's all good!

Jenn said...

I hope he relayed this story to his wife and she told him what an idiot he is! Seriously.
You look fabulous!

this single spark said...

I have no idea, having never been pregnant and having most of my pregnant friends living in other cities (like now... *sigh*).

But I do know that you look beautiful and I can't wait to meet that baby!

Elicia said...

Nope, looks like just one in there to me ... in fact you look about how I feel at 4 months pregnant!

Office furniture said...

With new office furniture I have found the transition from working at the business office to a home office has become easier. I have also become more productive. There are many places to buy online. I found the quality and value of the furniture you can get to be above my expectations. Check them out if you get the opportunity. Visit Buildbedroom.com for their greatest deals.

beth - total mom haircut said...

Absolutely not! Girl, I was so much bigger than you. My mom compared me to that woman who was having the sextuplets or whatever they were and they showed her on tv trying to roll over with the saran wrap stuff wrapped around her belly so she wouldn't explode. Please tell me you know what the hell I'm talking about.