Tantrum Update 2007
Thanks to all of you who gave me any advice on toddler tantrums. Especially to my friend KT who actually contacted her sister-in-law (Early Childhood Educator) on my behalf. I've been taking it all in and applying advice as necessary. Upon re reading my post I realized that I made myself sound completely incompetent which, although that's how I may feel, is not exactly accurate. I will give myself some credit and say that after reading more about how to correctly deal with tantrums I have found I'm doing a lot of those things already.
I do find that the majority of things I read or am told apply more to slightly older children. She's really too young yet to understand if I try to explain stuff to her for instance “We are running late so I'm going to carry you instead of letting you walk down the stairs yourself because it'll take forever!” or “You can't run around on that wet floor because you're going to fall and crack your head open!” or “You can't have that pen because you are going to scribble all over the door (again) or yourself.”
But I am learning what is likely to set her off and so I can try to avoid it. Except for those times when it's just something random or a tantrum has resulted in pure fatigue, which is sometimes unavoidable. I don't know if it's getting better or if I'm getting better at dealing with them. Or just getting used to them. Except that eardrum piercing scream. I could never get used to that.
If nothing else I have a lot of great ideas that are going to be awesome as she gets just a bit older. Such as setting a timer for when it's time to get out of the bath. That one will be awesome. Right now it would be all - Ding! “Hey, that was a cool noise! Let me have that thing so I can bring it into the tub with me, I won't break it. What do you mean I can't? But I want it... I need it! Give it to me!! WAAAAHHHH!!!”
Um. Yeah. That's pretty much how it would go down.
But I do try to explain things to her. Even if I think she won't understand, because really, she's pretty smart. And she'll catch on eventually. Just look at me. Once I was just a girl with a new baby. Now I'm a Mama.
4 comments:
Oh... yeah. We do the timer thing too!
Dude, just to be clear? I never for a second thought that you were somehow incompetent or uninformed. I was pretty sure that you were just frustrated and sounding off... because tantrums WILL happen, and they ARE mama-frazzling.
I agree with you that even though she is too young to understand the reason for a restriction, doesn't mean you shouldn't offer it (the reason). Eventually she will wonder, "what is this blahblahblah that comes form Mama's mouth before she utterly destroys my world?"
You are a great mama!
Post the other tips you got! I need em!
I am on teh same page as you...even though I am not sure eli 'understands' what i'm explaining to him when he gets in trouble or when i'm changing the rules, I still do because he seems to pick up on so many other things... You're doing fine and eventually (or so i'm told) they'll grow out of it. The real question is will WE survive? :)
I need to go back and read your first tantrum post and the comments - heaven knows we have our episodes around my house, too.
The one thing I do know is that truly the sentence, "It's a phase" is the answer to most everything when they're so little. Yes, you have to say things and create boundaries consistently, but they don't always "get it" until they actually grow out of it. :) But understanding it won't last forever has kept me (mostly) sane.
Keep up the good work.
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