I Give You This Ring

This morning while taking a shower and performing my daily hair removal ritual I was thinking about what to write today. Well, I knew what I was going to write about but I was wondering how I was going to write about it. After all this isn't an X-Rated blog.

Let me start by sharing even more personal information that no one ever asked about. Neither my husband or myself had ever slept with anyone else before we were married. After closing their gaping mouths most people ask how old we were when we got married. I'm assuming this is because they are imagining a couple of teenagers getting wed so they can get it on. We were in fact 32 (him) and 26 (me). How on earth had we gotten that old without ever having had sex with anyone? In the case of my husband he was so shy (how shy was he?) he barely spoke to anyone, certainly not any girls. There was no way it was going to happen for him unless some forward young woman swept him off his feet, forced him talk to her and took him to bed. Lucky for both of us the first young woman to do that was me. As for myself I remember at a very young age making the decision that the only man I would have 'relations' with would be the man I married. I am not saying that I was never tempted to break that promise to myself. Apparently I was more stubborn than I was amorous. I can honestly say that I have no regrets about this and I also feel extremely lucky that I was his first as well. I think this must be incredibly rare in men.

If anyone is wondering why I'm bothering to give this information about myself it is partly because I am proud of it. It also explains (I think) why we are still so interested in each other. Our third anniversary was in September, after Audrey was born. (Worst anniversary ever, by the way.) We had been dating for over six years by the time we got married. So we are still enjoying marriage and all it's perks very much.

I have mentioned before that I am a freak of nature and everyday I am more convinced that this must be true. I seem to be part of a very small percentage of women who actually enjoyed sex while I was pregnant. In fact, during the first four months when I was horribly, horribly sick that was the one thing that I actually enjoyed. For those few seconds I didn't have any nausea at all and it was heaven. I remember one time after we... ahem...finished I said to him “That is the ONLY thing that is good about being pregnant.” I think my husband 'gets' how lucky he is to have a wife who let him touch her during those nine months. My experience after having Audrey has been much the same. We waited the six weeks and then things were almost back to normal. Certain positions were temorarily out but for the most part it was the same as ever. If things had not gone so well during birth as in - having more than the seven stitches I received - things could have been different. The general consensus seems to be that we girls aren't interested after having a baby. "But I'm confused--you're into sex and you have an infant? What's up wit dat?" Again, I'm a freak.

Which finally brings us to the "Ring Review". I like to make my readers wait not unlike my men. So as I had mentioned here I purchased a treat for us to try. I wasn't planning on buying it I was just enjoying time alone in the grocery store and while strolling down the prophylactic aisle this one called out to me. AND it was on sale. I had read about it in a Glamour magazine and it sounded good to me. I left it on the bed for Peter to find when he got home. Even though he'd worked almost twelve hours that day he was game to try it out. Miracle of miracles Audrey went to bed and stayed there. Things were going our way! Being the responsible adults we are we read the instructions first. Hey, if you are going to wear something battery operated in a sensitive area you better make sure you are doing it right! After a little 'cuddling' we removed the packaging and turned on the switch. His eyes popped open immediately which sent me into a fit of laughter. "Are you okay?" I asked him still laughing. "Yes, but this feels weird." He was also laughing. Once we got going and stopped laughing it was good. Really good. Especially for me. You are supposed to throw it out after one use. I think this is only because they are covering their butts and don't want people reusing and passing on STD's or something. We totally used it again. Less laughing, and still really good. They say the battery last approximately 20 minutes. I figure we've got at least 5 minutes of battery power left. I would totally buy it again. I give it four out of five stars. Just so you all know I'm not going to make a habit out of reviewing various things of this nature. This is probably a one shot deal. Peter gave me permission to talk about it this time. I'm not sure he wants me talking about this sort of thing on a regular basis. But to you I say, go forth and try the ring. It was good for me.