The Poop Parade

Disclaimer: The word poop appears several times in this post. If you don't like hearing about baby poop in it's various stages, abscence or abundance please don't read further.

Any mother knows that one of the most important things your baby does is poop. That all important poop. After a baby is born we wait for the meconium. Then come the chocolate pudding poops. And get ready for it – the mustard poops. My favorite description is seedy. Mmmm. Why oh why do health care professionals use foods and condiments to describe baby poop? In our first few days with Audrey we were especially obsessed with the pooping. The meconium came and then the pudding and we were getting to the seedy but we were having our breastfeeding problems. She did become dehydrated at one point and she had an awful little black turd that was stuck in between her cheeks. That was the most depressing diaper I ever changed. I think I even cried. I also think that was the night they gave her formula because my milk really hadn't come in yet. Things did eventually get back on track thankfully. Then they were finally going to let us go home. But they kept asking “Did she have a poop yet?”. I wanted to lie in case they weren't going to let us go without leaving a poop filled diaper present for them. She never did. Ungrateful child. So home we went anticipating the next poo.

Those first few days were rough. I remember the morning I was still in bed and Peter went to get Audrey out of bed and change her before bringing her for breakfast. “She pooped!” he called from her room. I may never have jumped out of bed so fast. Peter and I did the poop polka around her change table. She must have thought we were nuts. I have never seen such a beautiful site. After that she continued to be a poop once a week girl. My mom would always ask me if she had pooped. My sister always told me the reason she was grumpy was because she had to poop. We were all obsessed with her bowel movements, or lack thereof. My mom tried to convince me to try suppositories. My husband refused. Smart man. My midwives kept telling me “a baby can poop 10 times in 1 day or 1 time in 10 days.” So we tried to relax. A person could get constipated worrying about a kid that hardly ever poops.

Well, let me tell you. The poop parade has begun. Monday morning, we hear her making happy noises from her crib. We go in her room. It stinks. Peter and I look at each other in amazement. “Do you think she pooped?” Sure enough, there it was. Later that day at her first swimming lesson, after we are out of the pool and posing for pictures there is an explosion in her pants. Can't be. Must have been a big fart. Nope. Little Swimmers are NOT fun to change when they are poopy. Tuesday morning. Happy noises again. A little smelly in her room. Residual smelliness? Another morning poop. We go to visit an expectant friend and her little girl. I change her there. Poop! What is going on with my poopless wonder? Is this how things will be from now on? Will we actually get to use the Diaper Genie more than once a week? Stay tuned for the next installment of "Baby Poops A Lot". (Now!)



Is this or is this not the face of a baby who has regular bowel movements?