Tuesday, December 02, 2008

It Crept Up on Me

Wednesday. That's tomorrow. The day I go back to work. The day my maternity leave is officially over. I'm only going back sixteen hours a week until July but still. This was the last time in my life that I was able to be at home with my kids without having to work. Tomorrow the juggling begins. The passing Peter at the door with a quick kiss and supper instructions. The pumping of milk. The stressing over having enough milk pumped. The pumping at work. Sigh.

I cannot complain. I know that many people out there have it worse than me. And this was the choice that we made. The choice that works best for us. I could have chosen to stay home longer. I'm just not sure what the consequences would be. I won't have to find out either. I will go back to work tomorrow. I will put on my happy face. I will kiss my sweet baby goodbye and know that I will be missing out on things while I am gone. I will accept it and carry on.

9 comments:

dari murray said...

Dawn, your girls are beautiful!! Good for you on going back to work, you will be fine, the girls and Peter will be fine, it will all work out!! Thinking of ya! Love your blogging!!

Jenn said...

I hope your first day back goes smoothly for everyone.
Your girls are absolutely gorgeous! I love their little Christmas dresses. And Miss A's hair is getting so long! She's so grown up looking.

Jenn said...

Oh I feel for you. A year mat leave is amazing, but I think it makes it harder to go back. Good Luck tomorrow

beth - total mom haircut said...

I didn't realize this was approaching for you either. I'm thinking of you today.

And they are just gorgeous. Truly.

Mama D said...

Jenn,

It's only been four months actually.

Thanks everyone.

Elicia said...

Good luck today! At least it's not full-time to start off and you can ease into it a bit!

And the girls are gorgeous of course!

bon said...

I just love you Mama D... love your family and I know that all of y'all are going to be fine with the new working arrangements. I just cannot believe that you are already HERE! Four months!!??

And those girls are so BIG! and BREATHTAKING! Wow. Getting a little teary now.

Lynanne said...

I've tried it all ways (FT work, PT, and SAHM) and found that no matter what my choice, I questioned if I was doing the right thing. When I was working, I pined to be a SAHM. Now, I'm sad that the kids miss out on the opportunities they had when I worked. What is it with the mommy-guilt?

There really is no perfect solution - only the best solution that works for you at this point in time. Try not to think in terms of absolutes. Nothing is set in stone. Who knows if it will be your last time at home with the kids? Might you feel the same if you thought it was your last time at work (as much as I hated my job, I did.)

Think of all the positives and try not to stress. If you can't pump enough and have to supplement, no biggie. It may not be your first choice, but it's not a bad choice either. Go with the flow (no pun intended), pump what you can, and enjoy that boost of "feel good" hormone/oxytocin at work while you think fondly of your beautiful girls.

You are an amazing mother and the fact that you put so much thought into this decision is a testament to that. Best of luck!

this single spark said...

Okay... I know I should be offering words of encouragement, and how I'm sure you'll miss your girls, but all I can say (and maybe you'll find this encouraging) is oh, thank God. My hair and I have been missing you so much. I haven't had a good cut since you chopped me short and I have been counting down the days until you go back to work.

That said, I couldn't get in to see you on the 20th, so it will be one more cut with someone else, and I'll see you at the end of January.

Oh ya, and I'm sure you'll miss being at home with your beautiful girls, but t will be all right... for everyone.