Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Dear Baby B,

Let me start by saying that I love you. You have the sweetest disposition, you are funny and strong and amazing. I can't imagine our family being complete without you.

Having said that, I have no idea how such a small person can wreak such havoc upon an entire household. It is one thing for me to be tired. I (for the most part) can cope. The thing is you are (repeatedly) waking up your Dad and your sister as well. And as you know they are one and the same in regards to lack of sleep - M I S E R A B L E. You can't possibly enjoy their company under those circumstances, I know I find it challenging.

And it's one thing for me to be tired but you are also robbing me of any 'me' time I could possibly scrape together. Staying up until 11 or 12 am means that I can't really chill with your Dad when we're watching a show. Your squeals, giggles and smiles are adorable but if I'm being honest, they lose most of their charm after 9:00 pm.

I might be more flexible if I could be sure that when you went to sleep at midnight you would not be up until 6:00 am. (Not that I wouldn't appreciate it if you slept even later.) That's only 6 hours. I really don't think that's too much to ask. Instead, you are up several times. Often at least 4 times. I am not against experiments in letting you 'self soothe' but unfortunately because you share a room with your sister it's not possible.

I would like to give you the benefit of the doubt. I would like to believe that something is bothering you and waking you up and not that you are playing some sort of evil manipulative game with me as our family physician has suggested. (Well, the word 'evil' is mine, not his.) You can't possibly enjoy getting up that frequently.

And as I'm sure you've noticed I certainly am not enjoying getting up that frequently. The sleep deprivation takes me places I never wanted to go. I have yelled at you, said unpleasant things. I feel terribly about it but to be fair, this is no way to live.

At this point, I am surviving on the knowledge that this can't possibly go on forever. Glass half empty people would tell me that you'll then move on to yet another horrific stage. I am going to try and imagine my glass half full. That one day (very soon) you will give me (and the rest of our family) a break. You will more consistently sleep through the night. I don't think this is too much to ask as you'll be an entire year old in only THREE MONTHS!!!

It is just a tiny piece of the whole puzzle but it seems to be the most important one. Otherwise, we have no complaints. We give you an A+ in every other area but your sleeping issues are dragging your overall grade to an F-. I don't even think there is such a grade as an F minus but you have invented it. Congratulations. I'm being facetious. Please cut this crap the heck out.

your very tired, cranky, stressed, resentful, uncharacteristically angry Mom

P.S. I'm not one to make threats but I'd like to point out to you that once summer comes our new chariot could make an excellent bed.


Lynanne said...

My golly she's beautiful.

My heart goes out to you. Our second was a terrible sleeper (at 10 he still is, but rarely wakes us up anymore). I'm sorry, I've got nuttin for you that can help. Other than Ambien. For you, not the babe. :) (and I'm only half joking about that - It was the only thing that saved my sanity. That and a husband that was willing to stay up the two nights a week that I was in dreamland.)

Elicia said...

So sorry to hear this. Ethan was (is) a rotten sleeper so I know what sleep deprivation does to a person! He still gets up at least once a night and he's almost 2 1/2! I'm reading a book right now that's called "The baby Whisperer Solves all Your Problems." It seems pretty good so far. I haven't got to the part about sleep yet though =) I have heard that most methods work as long as you are consistent though. That was my problem, I'd give in after a couple of days (hence why my 2 year old gets up and sleeps with me!). Don't feel bad if you have to have a week where everyone in your house is awake and miserable as baby B screams though if you go with cry it out. Better a week that turns into better sleep than months of it right? Good luck! I'd really like to get together sometime, I miss having other moms to talk to. Especially great ones like you!

this single spark said...

Hmmm. Maybe you can't stay over, Baby B.

Just kidding! Super excited. Even if it means I don't get any sleep. I mean, what kinda slumber party includes sleep?!?