Okay, Now This is Becoming a Problem

So my kid, the kid who loves water, who has always loved water, who likes to go totally underwater while swimming... Has developed a phobia of the bathtub. And today (Saturday) while I was at work she freaked out when her dad tried to do the dishes.

I have no idea how this happened. The only thing I can think of is that we will sometimes give her a cotton ball to 'wash her face with' while she's in the tub. Peter said once one went down the drain when she pulled the plug. I'm not sure if that's when it started or not. But it has been getting progressively worse.

It began with her being happy to have a 'tub tub time' but at some point she would kind of mildly panic and begin to throw all her toys out of the tub and get out herself. In the past few weeks the time she would stay in shortened and the mild panic became full fledged crying and freaking out and frantically trying to get everything out of the tub. Last weekend while we were visiting her Grandma out of town she and her cousin had a bath together. It started off fine and about five minutes in she had a melt down, chucking everything out of the tub, etc. I lifted her out of the tub and sat her on my lap as I sat beside it. She started screaming and crying and reaching out for her cousin (who is about 1 year old) saying we needed to take her out of the tub. My hand happened to be on A's chest and her poor little heart was pounding so hard and fast. I had to take her out of the bathroom and calm her down.

Tonight, (Saturday) was the worst so far. She did NOT want to have a bath and kept saying so repeatedly as I ran the water. I was hoping she'd change her mind. Then I told her she didn't have to have a bath but I was going to have one. I got in the tub and her dad sat in the bathroom with me. She kept wandering in and out of the bathroom with a concerned look on her face. Then she said she'd like to have a bath too. She got undressed and climbed in with me. She was smiling and happy at first and then suddenly she looked so sad and said "I don't wanna take a bath either." and started to cry and climb out.

I feel so terrible about this. She is clearly so afraid. I was reading a bit about this on the internet and found it is one of the most common toddler phobias and usually one they outgrow. Next time I will try having a shower with her and see if she likes that instead. She has also expressed interest in going swimming when we go to the Y and I think I will take her next week and see how that goes. It just breaks my heart seeing her be so afraid of something that is kind of unavoidable. I know I can resort to sponge baths but I'd really like to find another way. And if it's getting so severe that she doesn't even like to see us washing dishes that is a real problem...

Does anyone else have any experience with this? Any ideas?

YouTubesday

Another reason why I love Yo Gabba Gabba. I actually enjoy the music.

Working the System

Isn't it funny how things just evolve? I mean, at one point, things are going along all fine and dandy and then all of a sudden you find yourself somewhere completely different and you think "How did I get here?"

For instance just a couple of months ago Miss A was consistently sleeping through the night. On the rare occasions she did wake up I could easily rock her a bit and put her back to bed. In these past couple of months things have gradually shifted. One particular night, she kept waking up and I was repeatedly going in to comfort her, finally I decided to leave her for a bit thinking she'd fall asleep as she always had before. Instead she climbed out of the crib. This was a turning point. Obviously, there would be no more waiting for her to fall asleep again. If I wouldn't come and get her out of bed she'd just do it herself.

What has evolved is the following. If she cries in the night (which is happening more and more frequently) I promptly go to her, whereas before I would wait her out and she'd usually drift off again quickly. What I found was that rocking with her a bit wasn't working. She seemed to not settle back down if I removed her from bed. What I resorted to one night was giving her a bottle and then going back to bed. To my surprise this worked like a charm and it could be done with little interruption to my own sleep.

The downfall? It would seem that I have been getting up almost like clockwork at 3 am to give her a bottle. I'm finding this to be a problem. I don't mind doing that sort of thing every once in a while, as a treat, to help calm her down and get her back to sleep. What I feel is happening is that she's working me. That she's waking up in the night and instead of just rolling over and going back to sleep she knows that if she cries out I'll make her a bottle and she could really go for a bottle right now.

Maybe this doesn't seem like a big deal. I think it is. I miss the girl who slept through the night. I miss my sleep. I am fully aware that my nights of half decent sleep are numbered and I'd really like to take advantage of them while I can. So what can I do? I'm trying to come up with a game plan. Feel free to give suggestions. I would also take words of encouragement.

And now, a mish mash of photos to amuse you.

Me Time?

I mentioned some time ago that Miss A had decided to quit having naps. In addition to this she has now started getting up about an hour earlier than usual. This hour was valuable to me. I would use it either to catch up on needed rest or to have some quiet time to myself before having to start the day. It's not simply the getting up an hour earlier, it's the yelling "Mama! Mama! MAMA! It's wake up time!" that comes along with it. And if I don't haul my butt to her room pronto she catapults herself out of the crib herself, which I try to discourage telling her to "Wait for Mama!"

I've already had some difficulty sleeping through the night even when Miss A does. This lack of sleep is catching up with me. Not to mention the whole, eight weeks spent on my bum with people looking after me (I'm not complaining) followed by suddenly jumping right back into work and housework and everything. Sigh. Just feeling a bit rundown.

When you are feeling rundown it's a bit scary trying to imagine how much more rundown I'll feel once this new baby arrives...

I guess when you sign on for this mom business you are signing away things like rest and me time. I do look forward to the day when I will have those things again. And I except that the choices I have made make those things nearly impossible to have at the moment. That's okay. I'm going to make it.

YouTubesday and Other News

How does one find the time to blog once their child in no longer napping? I've had a few things I wanted to blog about lately but I never seem to be able to sit down and do it. I'm not expecting it to be any easier now that I'm back at work either.

Yesterday was my first day back. I survived. My foot had the imprint of my shoe indented into it by the end of the day, which was... interesting. I did as I was told by my physiotherapist and promptly did my hot/cold contrast bath for both my feet and was nearly as good as new. Today is going to be a bit more hectic, so we'll see how I'm feeling tonight.

Have any of you seen this children's show? It is part of the new programming on 'Treehouse' and Miss A is in love with it. I admit I am strangely fond of it as well. It is really bizarre which is probably the reason.



So Miss A has started to climb out of her crib. Mostly in the morning when she wakes up. Once she did it in the night when she couldn't get back to sleep and I was trying to leave her alone hoping she'd drift off. She is very competent at it so I don't worry that she'll hurt herself. Which is why I don't think I'll switch her to a big bed yet. I still think, in general, she'd stay in her crib better than she would a bed. I may change my mind in the next couple of weeks... We'll see.

Hmmm... What other news? General cuteness? A has started saying "I can't feel better." when she is sad or after she's been disciplined. And then eventually she'll tell us "I feel better!". Also, yesterday at the grocery store she specifically asked to buy broccoli. My heart swelled with happiness.

YouTubesday

My most recent song obsession. This movie is so beautiful and pure. I saw Glen and Marketa perform it at the Academy Awards and was instantly cheering them on to win. (Which they did) I saw the movie as soon afterwards as I could. I highly recommend it to everyone.

The Things I Have Learned

Well. This is officially my last week as a cripple. My last week as a non working one anyway. As of next Wednesday I am back to work and my family will be assuming our usual routine. To be honest, this scares the crap out of me a little.

You see I am a creature of habit. When I first broke my ankle things were crazy. I was in the hospital, having surgery, trying to get a grip on the fact that this really did happen. Once I arrived home I had to adjust to everything. I had no choice but to sit back and let everyone look after me/my family. This is a very hard thing for a control freak to do. But if you are forced to do it long enough you can get used to it. Longer still and you depend upon it. My fear as we approach this new independence once again is that we won't be able to do it. Which is silly, I know, because we were doing it before this all happened. Still... It freaks me out.

But here are some valuable things we have learned over the past several weeks.

My mom is awesome. We knew this, because she repeatedly displays her awesomeness over and over whenever we are struggling. (which unfortunately seems often) She has truly outdone herself this time into hella mega awesomeness. Though we have some ideas about ways we could even begin to repay her that task will be truly impossible.

I have learned that the world will not fall apart if I can't do anything. Also, that by doing so much I had caused Peter to be unsure as to whether he could do certain things. Most importantly, putting Miss A to bed. This is something I had always done. Sometimes, a burden I didn't want anyone else to have to deal with. I feel terrible that this was one of the many tasks that fell into Peter's lap when I was unable to do it. I feel terrible because it was totally unfamiliar territory for both him and A and because I hadn't shared the responsibility I caused them both undue stress when they had no other choice. Peter has been amazing. I have loved watching him handle things in his way and appreciate that it is different than my way. It was so important for both of us to learn that we can each to everything that needs to be done around here. Especially with another baby on the way. The way I was going before this accident I would have had a nervous breakdown for sure.

I have also learned that people are amazing but when it comes right down to it you have to know that it's all on you. There were a few times in the past weeks when I found myself thinking “Where are all those people who said 'if you need me call'?” I called. I left messages. Nothing. There were far, FAR more times when people where there. Sometimes before I called. Without being asked. Bringing food, visiting, babysitting, just being amazing in general. But there are still those times when you feel alone and it seems that no one is available. I found these times valuable too. Because I realized that I could survive them, no matter how much they truly sucked.

And finally I have learned that you can be a parent from the couch. It was difficult. Miss A and I both had to get used to it but we developed our routine. I can see how delighted she is to see me walking again. I don't think I will ever really know or understand how difficult this has all been on her. Early on her behavior was a good indication. Things seem to have settled down now.

I am excited to really get back to 'normal' but I'm happy to have been able to find positive lessons in this “garbage dump of a situation”. (I stole that from this freaking incredible movie)