Just over seventeen months ago when I was dealing with a brand new jaundiced baby, breast pumps and Mastitis I would have never been able to relate to the feelings I'm having today.
Today and for the past couple of weeks Miss A has been increasingly uninterested in breastfeeding. This seems to occur mostly during the before and after naps feedings. We go about our usual routine and when I try to lay her back for a drink she cries and wants to stay sitting up. She will usually cuddle, suck her thumb and even lay her head down on my shoulder but when I try to lay her down again she protests.
I have been comfortable with the way she's been self weaning until now. It's been gradual, painless and even convenient. But I'm wondering if she's nearly ready to stop altogether and to be honest I'm feeling a bit distressed about it. I had fully intended on continuing until she was two, now it's looking like we won't make it that far.
It's funny because like I said, at the beginning we had so many struggles and I often considered quitting but I pushed through. I honestly didn't think I'd be upset when she one day decided to quit. In fact I thought I'd be happy. But the thing is I'm not. I'm not exactly sad either, just confused. I'm not sure if I'm reading her right or not.
At this age there are a lot of situations where it's like “Listen, I know you want to climb up on the dresser but it's not safe and I want the best for you so get down please...” I'm wondering if this breastfeeding thing is the same, that I need to be persistent because I know what is best. Perhaps she thinks she's too busy for it. My concern is if she stops nursing in the afternoon my milk supply will definitely drop. I know, I keep forgetting how amazing our bodies can be and that they adapt in whatever way it needs to.
I also don't want to try to force her to continue if she is truly done. Since this is my first time I have no idea how to go about this. Also, I imagine it's different with every child. Sigh. I would appreciate any ideas, opinions or suggestions that any fellow breastfeeders may have. And for those of you who might be all “You're STILL breastfeeding and your kid is 1 and 1/2!? Gross!” Well, yes I am. And no, it's not.