Happy Father's Day and YouTubesday

I meant to write this amazing Father's Day post. I did. But as you can see it didn't really happen. A lot of my energy is going into 'nesting' these days. Or thinking about all the things I want to get done before this baby comes. But I think he still feels appreciated. Miss A and I made him a homemade card, I made Bacon and Eggs for brunch and he received a new guitar case and a 'Weed Eater' as gifts. I also took Miss A out on a shopping excursion so that he was free to nap, play, work, or whatever. What did he do? Mowed the lawn and played with the new 'Weed Eater'. I was pleased that he had fun and enjoyed his gift so much. He is such a great dad and he deserved a great day!

And now... I have been so obsessed with 'Twilight' lately that any youtubes I've put up always seem to be related to that. Not today. Yet another thing that I am so excited about and I don't have to wait as long for...



Chills anyone? (I mean Fans of course.)

And because I enjoyed THAT so much I enjoyed this also. Because it's silly. And wonderful. And hilarious.

A Lesson in Knowing When to Shut Your Mouth

So you are at the mall minding your own business when someone you know walks by. You turn excitedly to say "Hello" and realize that you don't actually know this girl. She smiles at you and asks you if you thought you knew her. You sheepishly tell her yes and instead of going on minding your own business you begin to walk alongside this girl and her young toddler who she's pushing in a shopping cart. You talk to the toddler in a goofy voice and she stares at you while sipping on her smoothie. You notice the girl is rather pregnant. You make some dumb remark about your observation. Then you start to ramble on about how your own daughter was married on the weekend and how you are so tired and happy that you took Monday off. The girl nods politely and you notice she looks tired too. Of course she does. She's pregnant and she has a small child as well. You decide to carry on your own way and continue going straight as they begin to turn the corner towards the grocery store.

THIS IS THE POINT WHERE YOU SHOULD WAVE GOODBYE AND NOT SAY ANOTHER WORD. THE WHOLE CONVERSATION HAS ALREADY BEEN REALLY STRANGE AND AWKWARD. THE GIRL HAS REALLY BEEN RATHER POLITE AND UNDERSTANDING CONSIDERING YOU DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW HER AT ALL. YOU DEFINITELY SHOULDN'T SAY WHAT YOU ARE THINKING FOR MANY REASONS BUT MAINLY BECAUSE YOU ARE A MAN AND HAVE NEVER CARRIED A CHILD. SO DON'T SAY IT, OKAY? DON'T. REALLY. DON'T.

"Are you having twins?"

YOU SAID IT.

"No."

And the girl's back is turned to you so you can't see her expression. You hope she isn't too offended. It was an honest mistake wasn't it? I mean, Wow! What a belly! Oh well.

*Peter took this picture on Sunday night. Does it look like I'm having twins to you? (If your answer is yes, I don't want to know.)

What a Weekend

What is more crazy than taking your toddler to a fair when you are nine months pregnant? Please tell me because I can't think of anything... Actually, we brought my wonderful niece along for help and without her I'm sure we would have had a miserable time. One extra person to reason with the crazy one. We had a lot of conversations with her while she was screaming at the top of her lungs "Why are you crying? Do you not want to go on this ride? You do? Okay, then relax. We just have to wait our turn." Here is a photo example. She was calmer by this point but can you see the crazed look in her eyes. An easy way to tell that this was later on is by noting the caramel blobs on her jacket.



I took a million pictures while we were there and I didn't catch one decent expression on her face. She was truly thrilled and smiling almost constantly but she was almost never looking at the camera and when I tried to get her to she was thoroughly uninterested. How frustrating. When we ask her what her favorite ride was she says "Horsies" which is surprising to me because it's the slowest, shortest and least interesting. She seemed to love the 'scarier' rides the most, smiling and laughing the whole time.






Once she got the hang of having to wait in line she really seemed to enjoy herself. On this ride I tried to put her in just any jeep and she requested 'the purple one'. Wow.



And in unrelated news. Yesterday, she was coloring her hand black with a marker. When I asked her to stop and explained that we don't color on ourselves she cried and explained that she wanted to be a kitty. What a lot of coloring she would have had to do! This was our solution which seemed to satisfy her.

YouTubesday

Yet another Twilight obsessed YouTube. It was shown at the MTV movie awards. 58 seconds is FAR too short. The video may be taken down within the day though.

Come on

I think of myself as a nice person. A person who doesn't have unrealistic expectations. I'm reasonable. I don't just go around freaking out on people when things don't go my way. But sometimes I think if I was more inclined to be that way, dumb things wouldn't keep happening to me.

When I was expecting Miss A we ordered her bedroom furniture in what I thought was plenty of time. Apparently, I should have allowed more time. I was told to expect it would be a much longer wait than I'd originally thought. So, I was stressed until the furniture finally came. I mean, of course we would have been okay if it didn't but being the planner - anal retentive person that I am, I just wanted to have her room all set up.

As I mentioned in my last post, we really don't have anything much to do this time. Except... I ordered a chair. A glorious chair. The kind of chair that is going to make many sleepless nights much more bearable. I expect to be spending A LOT of time in this chair. I ordered it in the middle of April. That should have allowed an ample amount of time for it to arrive before July, don't you think? But no.



I received a phone call yesterday telling me that they are estimating it will be here at the END of July. Much later than I'd originally been told. I was so disappointed and frustrated that it came across rather clearly to this nice woman I'd been dealing with. It totally isn't her fault. It is a problem with the manufacturers of the chair. Still, that doesn't make it any less annoying. So it's likely not going to arrive before the baby comes. I know it will get here eventually but it just makes me sad. It's the ONE THING I wanted to have before the baby arrives.

Who knows, maybe a miracle with happen and it will still get here on time. We'll have to wait and see.

In the meantime, here is a new profile picture. The other one was terribly old...

Countdown

Well, it's a little more than a month until this baby is due. Wow. I really can't believe it. I keep trying to imagine what it will be like having two. Of course, that's all I can do. Imagine. That's what I did before we had A. And what I imagined? It wasn't even close. It was so much harder than I'd thought it would be. I think I have adjusted my thinking this time and I may be closer to knowing what it will be like... but still I'm sure it will be so much more challenging than I'm imagining this time as well.



Daily things are getting progressively more difficult. I keep looking at my flower beds wishing I could spend time in them to make them look pretty. I keep reminding myself that this is only for a short while longer (and the last time). Miss A is going through a really frustrating stage right now where she totally flakes out sometimes and refuses to walk, insisting that I carry her. For anyone who might say "Just make her walk!" I say to you "Ha! YOU make her walk." If I waited for her to decide to walk I would seriously be there ALL DAY. And the whole walk away saying "See you later." doesn't work either. She's very likely to bolt and with the combination of this belly and stiff ankle - I would NEVER catch her. She'd be gone. So what do I do? I carry her. I keep picturing my water breaking as I'm lifting her up. Wouldn't that be lovely.

There are a lot of things I still want to do before the baby arrives. Yet, it seems so much more low key than the last time. There was no getting a room ready. No buying furniture. (Well, we're getting a fancy rocking chair but no baby furniture.) Mostly what I need to do is find the baby stuff and get it washed as well. And empty out a dresser from downstairs so we can bring it up and fill it up with baby clothes. That's it.

Still, I'm procrastinating. I'm sure I'd be more motivated if I was finished work. But I'm not. I'll be working until the end of the month. And working hard. Because all of my lovely clients (and I do mean that) are desperate to get in for that final appointment before I go. And I want to see them too. I'll also be doing some graduation hair.

So. I'm tired. I'm stressed. I'm nervous. But you know, I'm here.

Weekend

Well, our weekend is over. I hate looking so forward to something because the disappointment when it's all over is nearly crushing...

We had a really, really nice time. We didn't take many pictures because we stayed in the same cabin as last year and I posted the photos here.

So I guess I captured some key moments, like this one when we first arrived. (We don't look a bit thrilled to be kid free for the weekend do we?)


And of course, we had to document the major difference in my appearance from last year...


And then I took a photo from our last day. This is the lovely bath I prepared for myself with tea and a book to enjoy.


Our first night we had beautiful weather. I was even able to get in the pool and swim some laps which felt great. Much different than swimming at the YMCA. There was blue sky and trees and nature to look at instead of concrete walls. We had a BBQ and then watched a couple of movies. I just have to say "I am Legend" So. Good. Wow. I was super tense through most of it though and had to take several breathers to calm down. I also cried an awful lot. Also, Will Smith is a highly underrated actor. There were moments in this film when he simply blew me away.

The following day it rained. And rained. And rained some more. When we were going to bed I'm pretty sure it was sleeting actually. It didn't matter though. We slept in... for the first time in... such a long time. And since we didn't have to get up with a child in the night it wasn't the kind of sleeping in that is the result of being overtired. It was pure, sweet, extra sleep. We read books. We watched crappy television. (Rock the Cradle) We went out for a nice meal. We watched more movies. We went to bed early.

And then today we had to come home.

It was amazing just to have a break from putting Miss A to bed. It was nice to have a holiday from the responsibility. To just be the two of us.

Yet, at the same time we missed her and kept quoting her the entire time we were away. We looked so forward to seeing her. When we arrived at my sister's to pick her up I couldn't stop staring at her. I was amazed by every word she said. I highly recommend spending some time away from your kids sometimes. It really does make you appreciate them in the most incredible way.

It was also nice to hear that she was an absolute ANGEL for my sister and her family. She slept, she ate, she even napped one day! She had everyone wrapped around her finger. Of course this means that from now on my sister will NEVER believe me when I complain about her being a crazy child and the fact that she makes me think I'm losing my mind sometimes... Then again, she does have kids too so maybe she'll believe me after all.

Anyway, it was a nice break. And now we buckle down for the hard stuff that is on it's way. Like... soon...

Random Tales

Miss A had her first wood tick yesterday. It was in her hair right by her temple. Ick! I discovered it while putting her in her car seat. I was very brave, removed it and inciner

I think this will be my only post for the week. I'm too busy getting ready for and being excited about the coming weekend. We are going here again. Normally, we wouldn't be going away this way two years in a row but with the new baby coming who knows when we'll have our next opportunity. Miss A is terribly excited about going to stay with her cousins so it's also a guilt free trip!

This is A's favorite new playground to visit. She refers to it as "the red park".



According to this sign she is too young to play there.



She doesn't seem to think so.





Also, I'm growing.



And this is my new favorite song.

The Many Faces of A

Miss A's new favorite game is to make faces. She tells us to "Be MAD!!!" "Be SAD!!" "Be HAPPY!!" And she does the same. Here are her faces...

SAD



HAPPY



MAD (My personal favorite, but only when she's playing around)

Different

Yesterday we went to have some pictures taken. Maternity photos. You know the ones I mean. They are sweet, artsy photos of the belly and it's family. We did them when I was pregnant with Miss A and they are quite lovely. The end result a three picture collage hangs in her bedroom.

This time it was decidedly more... difficult. I had visions of how wonderful it would be to have photos of the three of us and the belly. I was kicking myself afterwards for not preparing myself for what actually did happen. Because, after all, I know my child. It wasn't that long ago that we had this experience.

So yeah, Miss A was SO not interested in getting her picture taken despite every persuasion we could think of including putting stickers on the 'baby'. We managed to get two (TWO!) shots with her in them. And who knows if they'll be any good. We also took some with just Peter and I because, well, at least we were cooperating.

I'm sure they will be fine but I couldn't help being a bit disappointed. I hate it when situations arise and I find myself wishing that A could just be - different. (Like maybe, not climbing all over the photography props instead of posing with us for a few photos for pete's sake!!!) If only I could have just had Lynanne come over to take a few shots. I'm sure she would have been able to work miracles!

And then later when we were curled up on the couch together I felt guilty for ever wishing she was different. She wouldn't be her if she just posed nicely for the pictures. She'd be a totally different kid. And I love her, spunk and all.

Growing Girl and a Growing Mama

Hmmm. Not much to say really. Just some photos.

YouTubesday

EEEEK!!!


Twilight

Frequently Requested Beverages

A Smoofie or a Milkshape.

Neighborly

Remember our noisy neighbors? Well, I finally chatted with them. Well, the woman anyway. We simply got acquainted at first and then when I felt the time was right I explained that our bedroom windows were right by their driveway and the door that they use the most. The door that their inebriated guests stand outside to smoke and curse and be generally obnoxious. Okay, I didn't say THAT. I did say that when they sometimes had company we could hear them quite clearly speaking loudly late at night. She apologized and said she did try to remind their friends to keep it down.

All in all it was a pleasant and productive conversation. Since then there has only been one incident and it was totally tame and tolerable.

Today they have landscapers ripping apart their driveway and yard. I am excited that the space between our two homes will likely be much more attractive and even have my hopes up that they may also put up a nice fence. The existing one is small and rickety and also has nails poking out of it along our side of the yard.

I am thinking that we may be able to peacefully coexist after all. How nice.

YouTubesday

I should just start calling this 'Twilight Day' instead. Sigh. Enjoy!

Precious

Tonight I am attending the memorial of one of my clients. Cancer stole her life from her too early. Her daughter, also a client of mine, is my age. Her daughter is not yet married and has no children. I can't help but think that her mother will never see her get married and never see the children she may one day have. And she will never be able to call her mother to ask her those questions we all have for our mothers about our kids.

I can only begin to fathom how difficult this must be. Thinking about not having my mother in my life makes me feel like I'm suffocating. And yet, I know that one day she will be gone. It makes me appreciate every single thing she does for me and my family and every precious moment we spend together.

The Best and the Worst

The best things Miss A is doing right now.

-Saying "Bless you!" when people sneeze. (I personally am doing a lot of this right now due to allergy season.) This evening she called "Bless you!" all the way from the living room while I was doing dishes in the kitchen and sneezed. My heart went all warm and fuzzy.

-Pretending. Especially pretend picnics and tea parties.

-Saying "Thank you" without being reminded.

The worst things. (This list might be longer than the first...)

-Not sleeping well.

-Sometimes refusing to do even the simplest things. Example: Putting on her jacket and shoes even when she WANTS to go where we are going.

-Screaming "Don't say DAT!"

-In general, being difficult about almost everything.

I'll stop there because I don't want to dwell on the negative. There's always good and bad in everything right?

Did I Mention...

How much I miss naps? Not naps of my own (I'm not much of a napper) but I really wish Miss A still took them. Especially since she's been getting up a lot at night these days, which I hope is due to the cutting of two year molars and not just a habit she's getting into. Last night at around 4:00 am she called from bed "I need Dada to take me to the Doctor!"

The previous night was actually worse and then we were out of town the following day and I managed four hours of driving, miraculously without even the urge to fall asleep at the wheel. I did however have what I call a 'fatigue headache'. So actually, I could go for a nap these days. Unfortunately, I seem to be the only tired one. We settle for quiet time on the couch together. I take what I can get.

YouTubesday

It took great restraint not to post this as soon as I found it. I have personally watched it... let us just say 'several' times. It is the closest thing to a trailer that exists up until now. Enjoy.

What a Bad Idea

Yesterday Peter and I took Miss A to something called 'The Preschool Wellness Fair'. The purpose is to screen vision, hearing, development and speech/language. And the kids also get a free nutritious snack! Sounds great, right? That's what I thought until we walked in the door. It was pretty much chaos from the very beginning. While I sat down to register her she and Peter were running up and down a nearby ramp. I had dragged Peter to this thing pretty much upon his arrival home from work so he hadn't even had a chance to unwind.

The first (and only) screening we did was speech/language. They had a special room for this and outside the room was a few chairs and a very few toys. Trying to convince Miss A that we should stay in this area was an impossibility. She found the stairs at the end of the corridor which she wanted to 'explore'. I told the people at the desk where we'd be when it was our turn. I felt guilty because my poor husband was pretty much souly responsible for chasing after A since I am still pretty gimpy and this big (massive, huge, enormous) belly doesn't help either.

When it was finally our turn we pretty much had to drag her, crying, away from the stairs and tell her "Come on, we're going to do something fun." We were all supposed to sit at this little table and A was to look at pictures and tell us what they were. Yeah. Right. A table full of toys just behind us was WAY more interesting. I apologized to the girl and told her I was going to get the free snack and see if that would help. It did, a bit. It's always helpful to screen speech and language when you have a mouthful of crackers. When she finally settled down to answer she did great. Except for a part with a small basket and boat. She was asked to put the boat 'in' the basket. No problem. Under, beside, behind? All went 'in' the basket too. Whatever.

The vision screening (which we've basically already done) was in a huge room with tons of play areas. There were craft tables, playdough tables, car ramps, tunnels, you name it. We waited for at least a half an hour until it was our turn. A was happy to play so it wasn't so bad. But when it was her turn... forget it. No way. It was at that point we decided to leave.

All in all it was a pretty frustrating experience. I'm not totally sure what went wrong. I think it may have been a combination of things. I guess A was a bit young. But since she's supposed to be going to Preschool this fall I thought it was a good thing to do. The layout of the 'fair' is a bit overwhelming. Hard for a kid like ours to want to actually do something structured when there is SO MUCH COOL STUFF EVERYWHERE! I don't know. I was very thankful for Peter who somehow managed to keep it together as I was progressively losing it.

I know it's dumb but if I'm really honest with myself I'm disappointed because I know Miss A is really bright and I wanted to see her do well at all of the screenings. The thing is, I already KNOW she's bright. I don't really need proof. This whole thing was probably more of a learning experience for me than anything. At least now I can't say I don't know what that whole thing is about. Maybe we'll try again next year and maybe it won't be such a total bust.

Oh Brother

I seem to be saying that a lot these days. It's funny how we (well, I do) adopt new sayings at different times. And obviously these sayings become 'cleaner' once we have children. And once those children listen to every. word. you. say. and can repeat it clearly.

I have reached the 'really pregnant' stage. I think I may need to remove my wedding rings soon. I only noticed yesterday that I'm feeling a tad puffy in the hands and the rings are getting a bit snug. I've been getting all those ignorant comments from people that seem to come during the last few months of a pregnancy.

"You're going to be HUGE by July!"

"You've still got a long way to go!" *Translation: You're going to be HUGE by July!

"You look like you could have that baby RIGHT NOW!"

Thanks. Thank you all. Because there is nothing better than feeling like you are pretty enormous and then having those feelings confirmed by the inconsiderate comments of mere acquaintances. This is a down side to my job. I see a lot of people. And for some reason those people are fascinated by this sort of thing. And because they don't know me well, (other people's clients anyway) they feel they can say almost anything to me. No matter how stupid.

On Saturday we had a Birthday get together for Peter. Before heading over to our friend's house we stopped by Dairy Queen to pick up a cake. I had worked all day and then spent the remainder of the afternoon and early evening making snacks for the party. As we walked up to get in line at DQ I was both waddling a bit and limping because my ankle was sore and I really needed to get off my feet. This lady who works at my bank was already standing in line. I noticed she was chuckling at me. I flat out asked her if she was laughing at me. She said "No, not at you." Hmmm. Sure. What was so funny? The fact that a very pregnant girl, who was having difficulty walking was in line for ice cream? Don't I deserve ice cream? I mean, I'm carrying around this kid, who is kicking the crap out of my insides and making me want to pee every five minutes. Carrying it around on an ankle that was operated on a mere four months ago and continues to swell and be uncomfortable, perhaps even more as this child grows bigger. Don't I deserve a little something for all my trouble? Or should I go home and have some celery sticks so I don't balloon up further thus causing myself more difficulty walking? Grrr. Rant over.

My brain is also turning to mush. This has really been obvious to me in the past week. It's so frustrating because I know what I mean to say but what actually comes out of my mouth is all wrong. My coworkers seem to find it amusing and I try to be good natured. What is the point of being upset?

I am happy to say that Miss A seems to be past her days of not wanting to have her picture taken. She is now happy to pose for a photo. I took this one last week and when I looked at it I began laughing to the point of tears... it just struck me as funny. When I showed her she began laughing as well (probably because I was) and so we sat and laughed together about what a silly girl she is.

YouTubesday

These are the the kinds of videos that brighten my day and make me feel excited like a teenage girl again...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAPA D!!!

Today is my lovely husband's Birthday. Unfortunately, we won't be seeing much of each other because he works until 3:45, we kiss at the door and then I work until 9:00(ish). Miss A and I made a treat for us/him. Also, I thought the picture diary would be a cute present he could check out from work. Almost as good as spending the day with us.

This one was taken last night actually. Miss A was so pooped that she tipped out of her chair and crashed on the floor. It's a cute one of both of them.



And here are our cookie making adventures.









And as you can see Miss A is holding a special Birthday cookie with a candle in it!



We love you Papa D!

The Sun Has Gone to Bed (and so must I)

So Miss A has this new thing she's doing. Often when going up or down stairs she stops and says she needs to do "The Sun". At first I didn't know what the HECK she was talking about until she started going up on her bum and singing the song seen here and especially seen at 2:24. It's official, I've given birth to the strangest and cutest kid ever. I wonder what the next one will be like.

Thank Goodness and a Belly

I have managed to get Miss A into the tub twice in a row using the same method. First of all I run the bath without her even knowing, therefore we avoid the protest before we even attempt to get her in. Then I make a heart on the wall with the finger paint soap and also put a small puddle on the side of the bath. Then I lead her to the bathroom to reveal the bathroom paradise. We now have NO toys in the bath except "Baby Anna" and a wash cloth both of which she keeps VERY close tabs on. We usually spend the first part of the bath with A washing baby and me washing her. Then at some point she wants the baby and anything else out so the tub in completely empty. She then proceeds to lay on her tummy, submerge her face and blow bubbles. As I said before, her fear is definitely NOT of the water. Anyhow, I am so relieved and happy to have finally found a way for her to be comfortable with bathing again. I can tell that the same concerns are still there so I just try to be very sensitive and careful not to do anything that would upset her.





And since I always bug everyone I know to post or send pictures of their growing belly... Here is mine. The expression I have in this picture is very odd, Not sure why.

Better but Not Back to Normal

Just an update for those of you who might be wondering how we are doing over here...

Things have been... better. Not better enough to get rid of the sick feeling I have been carrying around in the pit of my stomach or the urge to cry all the time. (The later may have something to do with pregnancy hormones too.)

I appreciate all the feedback and good wishes more than any of you could possibly know.

I have wondered myself if she is more aware of this pregnancy and it's future implications and aftermath that I have given her credit for.

And I also would not be surprised if this could be fall out from the whole ankle breaking fiasco. Really, she coped amazingly well at the time, perhaps she is just allowing herself to react now that things are back to 'normal'.

I do hope it is a phase that is over quickly. My heart has been breaking when I see her behave in ways that seem so opposite to her usual self. It is something I can't seem to stop thinking and worrying about. Which does no good at all other that to give myself an ulcer but I can't seem to cut it out.

Anyhow, I will write again soon. I am hoping that it will be to say that things have settled down.

Issues

Okay. We are having issues. There's the bath phobia thing. Then this weekend Miss A had what I think you'd call a 'Night Terror'. It was SO scary! She woke up and when I tried the usual stuff that I do when this happens she started to freak out and scream and writhe and kick. She seemed afraid of me, she hid in the corner of the room and when she'd look at me she'd scream. No matter what I said I couldn't calm her down. Eventually, I left the room and called for Peter's help. I began sobbing uncontrollably because I just couldn't believe what was happening. Peter was somehow able to pick her up and soothe her and then we sat together in the living room for a while watching a show to make sure she was calmed down. She seemed fine all of a sudden and kept asking "Mama feel better?" She went back to bed relatively easily and slept the rest of the night without a problem. It took me a long time to go back to sleep since I was so freaked out by the whole ordeal. Has anyone else experienced this or anything like it?

We also seem to be struggling with eating right now. Like, not in a picky way. In a, I don't want to eat anything kind of way. She's nibbling on stuff but she really doesn't want to have anything to do with sitting down and eating a meal. This is SO not her. She is the girl who loves to eat. Who eats bizarre things. Who has a huge appetite.

And then there's the crying. Everything seems to make her cry these days. She's just really not herself. I would describe her as miserable actually. With very brief sunshiny moments. Not nearly enough sunshiny moments these days.

So I don't know. I'm feeling pretty down about all of this. I keep thinking about how I will deal with this stuff when I have a new baby to deal with as well. I know I will be lacking the patience I need to handle this stuff. To be honest I'm lacking the patience now. My belly is getting bigger and more in the way all the time and it makes it difficult to wrestle with a very strong toddler. I'm feeling a bit like I'm treading water and my legs are slowly turning to lead.

YouTubesday

This is a fake trailer for a real movie coming out in December. I was just screwing around on Youtube and found it. I thought it was so incredibly well done and splices together footage of the actual actors who have been cast in the movie. I would never take the time to do something like this myself but I am enough of a geek to appreciate it when someone else does.

Potty Tales

Wow! This potty training thing is tough. It's been happening gradually for several months. My goal is to have A trained before the baby comes. Also, she is starting preschool in September and must be trained by then or she won't be able to start.

I don't know why I wasn't expecting it to be hard. I guess because several months ago she sat on the potty and went #1 and #2 without batting an eye. It gave me a false sense of security. Then there was the whole breaking my ankle thing. Potty training during that time was pretty much not happening. So now we've been back on track. We've tried just switching to big girl panties but... the laundry... with the still sore ankle... was too much. So we're doing the pull ups thing. Which sometimes seems pointless sometimes. I try to talk to her and explain that she needs to tell me when she needs to go. When I ask her if she needs to go she won't. And I don't want to make her. We have good treats for when she does go and when she does go she seems very excited and proud of herself.

So. Maybe I'm just impatient. It's happening. Just not as easily as I hoped. What else is new? Really.

Unreasonable?

The driveway and main door of our neighbors home happens to run right alongside both ours and Miss A's bedroom windows. This is unfortunate for many reason. Especially in the winter when people need to let their vehicles run to warm up.

Last summer new neighbors moved in. I'm not sure what the living arrangement is. If it's a young couple or if the girl or guy own the house and are renting a room out to the other. We have tried to be friendly but they don't seem very interested.What has really been bugging me lately is that they seem to frequently have people over on weekends. The problem? Their guests smoke outside the door.

Sidenote: Having grown up with parents who drank alcohol on a regular basis as well as hosted many drunken gatherings I am familiar with how ingesting a fair amount of alcohol affects your ability to judge how loudly you are speaking. I spent many nights of my childhood laying awake for hours in bed listening to the boisterous voices of my parents and many of their 'friends'.

Having explained my prior expertise in this area I think it's fair to say with much certainty that my neighbors guests are under the influence while standing outside my window. They proceed to 'talk' which is actually yelling. This happened on the weekend waking me up at 2:30 AM. I think this is ridiculous. On another occasion several guests were leaving and I suspect they were all heading to the bar. They must have stood outside shouting back and forth to one another for at least 15 minutes before they finally left.

Is it unreasonable for me to expect more from our neighbors? Is it too much to ask that they are quiet after 11:00? I'm not talking about unavoidable noise such as vehicles coming and going or doors opening and closing. I'm talking about the yelling. Yelling at all hours of the night. So far they haven't ever woken Miss A up in the night. I think that might be grounds to go outside and play the bitchy neighbor role.

I keep thinking about the best and most non confrontational way to deal with this. I'm not sure it's such a good idea to deal with it in the heat of the moment when we are angry and they are intoxicated. That situation has the potential to even be dangerous. I'm thinking about putting a polite note in their mailbox explaining my view. Perhaps they don't even realize how obnoxious their friends are being. The pessimist in me tells me they won't care and they'll just blow it off and then things will be even more unpleasant. I just don't know. What would you do?

Okay, Now This is Becoming a Problem

So my kid, the kid who loves water, who has always loved water, who likes to go totally underwater while swimming... Has developed a phobia of the bathtub. And today (Saturday) while I was at work she freaked out when her dad tried to do the dishes.

I have no idea how this happened. The only thing I can think of is that we will sometimes give her a cotton ball to 'wash her face with' while she's in the tub. Peter said once one went down the drain when she pulled the plug. I'm not sure if that's when it started or not. But it has been getting progressively worse.

It began with her being happy to have a 'tub tub time' but at some point she would kind of mildly panic and begin to throw all her toys out of the tub and get out herself. In the past few weeks the time she would stay in shortened and the mild panic became full fledged crying and freaking out and frantically trying to get everything out of the tub. Last weekend while we were visiting her Grandma out of town she and her cousin had a bath together. It started off fine and about five minutes in she had a melt down, chucking everything out of the tub, etc. I lifted her out of the tub and sat her on my lap as I sat beside it. She started screaming and crying and reaching out for her cousin (who is about 1 year old) saying we needed to take her out of the tub. My hand happened to be on A's chest and her poor little heart was pounding so hard and fast. I had to take her out of the bathroom and calm her down.

Tonight, (Saturday) was the worst so far. She did NOT want to have a bath and kept saying so repeatedly as I ran the water. I was hoping she'd change her mind. Then I told her she didn't have to have a bath but I was going to have one. I got in the tub and her dad sat in the bathroom with me. She kept wandering in and out of the bathroom with a concerned look on her face. Then she said she'd like to have a bath too. She got undressed and climbed in with me. She was smiling and happy at first and then suddenly she looked so sad and said "I don't wanna take a bath either." and started to cry and climb out.

I feel so terrible about this. She is clearly so afraid. I was reading a bit about this on the internet and found it is one of the most common toddler phobias and usually one they outgrow. Next time I will try having a shower with her and see if she likes that instead. She has also expressed interest in going swimming when we go to the Y and I think I will take her next week and see how that goes. It just breaks my heart seeing her be so afraid of something that is kind of unavoidable. I know I can resort to sponge baths but I'd really like to find another way. And if it's getting so severe that she doesn't even like to see us washing dishes that is a real problem...

Does anyone else have any experience with this? Any ideas?

YouTubesday

Another reason why I love Yo Gabba Gabba. I actually enjoy the music.

Working the System

Isn't it funny how things just evolve? I mean, at one point, things are going along all fine and dandy and then all of a sudden you find yourself somewhere completely different and you think "How did I get here?"

For instance just a couple of months ago Miss A was consistently sleeping through the night. On the rare occasions she did wake up I could easily rock her a bit and put her back to bed. In these past couple of months things have gradually shifted. One particular night, she kept waking up and I was repeatedly going in to comfort her, finally I decided to leave her for a bit thinking she'd fall asleep as she always had before. Instead she climbed out of the crib. This was a turning point. Obviously, there would be no more waiting for her to fall asleep again. If I wouldn't come and get her out of bed she'd just do it herself.

What has evolved is the following. If she cries in the night (which is happening more and more frequently) I promptly go to her, whereas before I would wait her out and she'd usually drift off again quickly. What I found was that rocking with her a bit wasn't working. She seemed to not settle back down if I removed her from bed. What I resorted to one night was giving her a bottle and then going back to bed. To my surprise this worked like a charm and it could be done with little interruption to my own sleep.

The downfall? It would seem that I have been getting up almost like clockwork at 3 am to give her a bottle. I'm finding this to be a problem. I don't mind doing that sort of thing every once in a while, as a treat, to help calm her down and get her back to sleep. What I feel is happening is that she's working me. That she's waking up in the night and instead of just rolling over and going back to sleep she knows that if she cries out I'll make her a bottle and she could really go for a bottle right now.

Maybe this doesn't seem like a big deal. I think it is. I miss the girl who slept through the night. I miss my sleep. I am fully aware that my nights of half decent sleep are numbered and I'd really like to take advantage of them while I can. So what can I do? I'm trying to come up with a game plan. Feel free to give suggestions. I would also take words of encouragement.

And now, a mish mash of photos to amuse you.

Me Time?

I mentioned some time ago that Miss A had decided to quit having naps. In addition to this she has now started getting up about an hour earlier than usual. This hour was valuable to me. I would use it either to catch up on needed rest or to have some quiet time to myself before having to start the day. It's not simply the getting up an hour earlier, it's the yelling "Mama! Mama! MAMA! It's wake up time!" that comes along with it. And if I don't haul my butt to her room pronto she catapults herself out of the crib herself, which I try to discourage telling her to "Wait for Mama!"

I've already had some difficulty sleeping through the night even when Miss A does. This lack of sleep is catching up with me. Not to mention the whole, eight weeks spent on my bum with people looking after me (I'm not complaining) followed by suddenly jumping right back into work and housework and everything. Sigh. Just feeling a bit rundown.

When you are feeling rundown it's a bit scary trying to imagine how much more rundown I'll feel once this new baby arrives...

I guess when you sign on for this mom business you are signing away things like rest and me time. I do look forward to the day when I will have those things again. And I except that the choices I have made make those things nearly impossible to have at the moment. That's okay. I'm going to make it.

YouTubesday and Other News

How does one find the time to blog once their child in no longer napping? I've had a few things I wanted to blog about lately but I never seem to be able to sit down and do it. I'm not expecting it to be any easier now that I'm back at work either.

Yesterday was my first day back. I survived. My foot had the imprint of my shoe indented into it by the end of the day, which was... interesting. I did as I was told by my physiotherapist and promptly did my hot/cold contrast bath for both my feet and was nearly as good as new. Today is going to be a bit more hectic, so we'll see how I'm feeling tonight.

Have any of you seen this children's show? It is part of the new programming on 'Treehouse' and Miss A is in love with it. I admit I am strangely fond of it as well. It is really bizarre which is probably the reason.



So Miss A has started to climb out of her crib. Mostly in the morning when she wakes up. Once she did it in the night when she couldn't get back to sleep and I was trying to leave her alone hoping she'd drift off. She is very competent at it so I don't worry that she'll hurt herself. Which is why I don't think I'll switch her to a big bed yet. I still think, in general, she'd stay in her crib better than she would a bed. I may change my mind in the next couple of weeks... We'll see.

Hmmm... What other news? General cuteness? A has started saying "I can't feel better." when she is sad or after she's been disciplined. And then eventually she'll tell us "I feel better!". Also, yesterday at the grocery store she specifically asked to buy broccoli. My heart swelled with happiness.

YouTubesday

My most recent song obsession. This movie is so beautiful and pure. I saw Glen and Marketa perform it at the Academy Awards and was instantly cheering them on to win. (Which they did) I saw the movie as soon afterwards as I could. I highly recommend it to everyone.

The Things I Have Learned

Well. This is officially my last week as a cripple. My last week as a non working one anyway. As of next Wednesday I am back to work and my family will be assuming our usual routine. To be honest, this scares the crap out of me a little.

You see I am a creature of habit. When I first broke my ankle things were crazy. I was in the hospital, having surgery, trying to get a grip on the fact that this really did happen. Once I arrived home I had to adjust to everything. I had no choice but to sit back and let everyone look after me/my family. This is a very hard thing for a control freak to do. But if you are forced to do it long enough you can get used to it. Longer still and you depend upon it. My fear as we approach this new independence once again is that we won't be able to do it. Which is silly, I know, because we were doing it before this all happened. Still... It freaks me out.

But here are some valuable things we have learned over the past several weeks.

My mom is awesome. We knew this, because she repeatedly displays her awesomeness over and over whenever we are struggling. (which unfortunately seems often) She has truly outdone herself this time into hella mega awesomeness. Though we have some ideas about ways we could even begin to repay her that task will be truly impossible.

I have learned that the world will not fall apart if I can't do anything. Also, that by doing so much I had caused Peter to be unsure as to whether he could do certain things. Most importantly, putting Miss A to bed. This is something I had always done. Sometimes, a burden I didn't want anyone else to have to deal with. I feel terrible that this was one of the many tasks that fell into Peter's lap when I was unable to do it. I feel terrible because it was totally unfamiliar territory for both him and A and because I hadn't shared the responsibility I caused them both undue stress when they had no other choice. Peter has been amazing. I have loved watching him handle things in his way and appreciate that it is different than my way. It was so important for both of us to learn that we can each to everything that needs to be done around here. Especially with another baby on the way. The way I was going before this accident I would have had a nervous breakdown for sure.

I have also learned that people are amazing but when it comes right down to it you have to know that it's all on you. There were a few times in the past weeks when I found myself thinking “Where are all those people who said 'if you need me call'?” I called. I left messages. Nothing. There were far, FAR more times when people where there. Sometimes before I called. Without being asked. Bringing food, visiting, babysitting, just being amazing in general. But there are still those times when you feel alone and it seems that no one is available. I found these times valuable too. Because I realized that I could survive them, no matter how much they truly sucked.

And finally I have learned that you can be a parent from the couch. It was difficult. Miss A and I both had to get used to it but we developed our routine. I can see how delighted she is to see me walking again. I don't think I will ever really know or understand how difficult this has all been on her. Early on her behavior was a good indication. Things seem to have settled down now.

I am excited to really get back to 'normal' but I'm happy to have been able to find positive lessons in this “garbage dump of a situation”. (I stole that from this freaking incredible movie)

Goodbye

I am very sad to report that today we had to say goodbye to our beloved family cat, Casey. After nearly seventeen good years his kidneys finally couldn't continue functioning. Watching him go was one of the most difficult things I have ever done and I honestly don't know if I could go through it again.

Casey, you will be missed.

Introduction

Everyone, I'd like you to meet the tiny person who has been making me ill for months now. Seeing that little face makes everything seem just a little bit easier...

Almost There

I didn't expect to blog much during this recovery time but my absence has been longer than I thought it might be. Sitting at the computer has not really been an option for me. I have been spending most of my time with my leg up - on the couch. Peter has been reading my email to me as well as any blog comments. He says he feels like an assistant to a celbrity. Ha ha. But he managed to get an old laptop running for me so now I can blog more easily and check my own email. The freedom!

I won't bore you all with the details of my recovery. I keep getting asked how my ankle is healing, to which I reply "Fine, I think." How should I know really? (I'm having an x-ray on Wednesday and I'll be told then.) I have not really had any pain since about a week after my surgery. Only discomfort when my ankle is down. These days it feels okay down but still starts to swell rather quickly. As long as everything looks good with my x-ray on Wednesday I should be able to start putting some (definition of 'some' has yet to be determined) weight on it. I have booked myself to go back to work the second week of March. I am really hoping that was not too optimistic. I just went by what my doctor said.

I have already had two sessions of physio. The second of which was last Friday. I think I blew my physio's mind when he saw how much range of motion I had gained in only a week. Clearly the guy doesn't know who he's dealing with. He gave me exercises - I did them. I improved a tremendous amount in only one week. Perhaps he is used to people not actually doing the exercises he gives them. Personally I am going to do whatever it takes to get up on my feet as soon as possible. Besides, I'm sitting on the couch most of the time it's nice to shake things up a bit with a few exercises.

The pregnancy seems to be going along fine. I have my ultrasound next week and an appointment with my midwife tomorrow. I have noticed this baby is WAY down low. It's noticable to me because I carried Miss A up, like super high. I suppose this will have everyone convinced I'm having a boy this time but I won't be convinced until I hear my midwife tell me one way or the other after the birth. The sickness seems to still be hanging in there... which is another story entirely.

I feel like a total bore right now because I am not doing ANYTHING. I find myself telling Peter about interesting things I saw on television on any given day. Sheesh. We did get out to see a movie on Valentine's Day. 'Juno'. I HIGHLY recommend it. It's such a cute little movie.

I am amazed that I have not totally lost my mind yet after this many weeks of being so isolated and having to depend on everyone so much for everything. It has certainly been a test of my ability to 'let go'. I'm sure this experience will make me a better person. I can say I have spent most of this time just being a really frustrated person.

That's all for now. Thanks again for all your well wishes and concern. Miss you all.

Papa D's Picture Post

This is Papa D. Just to let you all know, Mama D is recovering from her broken ankle. Gramma D is feeding us well and making sure Baby A behaves herself. Here are some pictures of our recent adventures...

Baby Hulk:


after Hulking Out:



Mama D lying on the couch looking great:



Mama D lying on the couch looking great again:


Hello all friends of Mama D

The Reason

So. Hi. I've been... away. I was planning on writing a post at the beginning of January explaining my absence. I was simply going to post this picture:


and then a brief explanation of how during the first few sickly and dark months of pregnancy I am pretty much unable to tolerate being near the computer for any time longer than it takes to check my email. I have thought of many of you often and keep checking in on you. I have wanted to send emails... It just hasn't happened.

And then... last Sunday evening we called some friends to invite them skating with us. It was an absolutely beautiful evening. The skating oval was beautifully aglow with its many lights. I was the last to get on the ice. I was standing next to Miss A and we were just about to begin skating. She started to fall backwards. She had a helmet on and I'm sure she would have been fine but I instinctively reached out to try and break her fall a bit. I lost my balance and my feet slipped out from under me.

Let me stop here and explain that I have been skating all my life. I grew up in a small town where you skated in the winter and you swam in the summer. At thirteen I began teaching beginner's lessons. Shortly after we moved to the city. I didn't take any further lessons due to the cost but I still spent a lot of time on skates during the winter at community center rinks. I haven't skated nearly as much in the past few years but it is not something that you forget how to do. I CAN SKATE.

So my feet slipped out from under me. Nothing out of the ordinary. I couldn't count how many times I have fallen since I first learned to skate. I have never injured myself from a skating fall. Bruised my tailbone - sure. But that's it. I don't know if it was the mild weather, thus causing the ice to be a bit softer. If it was the extremely rough ice that caught my skate, or just no reason at all but once I was solidly on my behind I knew that something was horribly wrong with my ankle. And I calmly told Peter and my friends as much.

"Something is really wrong with my ankle."

They all looked down. And I believe I might have heard someone say "Oh no." My knee was still facing upwards but my foot was at a very strange angle and my toes were pointing more towards the ice than they should have been. My friend K is an Occupational Therapist which doesn't make her a doctor but it means that she is accustomed to seeing and dealing with injuries. We had a sled with us for Miss A so they maneuvered me onto it and pulled me to my friend's vehicle. I impressed several young athletic looking guys who skated along behind the sled in case we needed any help. They kept telling me how they couldn't believe how calm I was - that I wasn't freaking out - that they would be freaking out. I finally told them I was too pissed off to freak out. I couldn't believe that this had happened. I was pregnant. I had a two year old. I was a hairstylist. This couldn't be happening.

But it did happen. To save you the WHOLE terrible tale I will simply say that my ankle was dislocated and badly broken. They gave me some amazing drug which knocked me out for a minute while they popped it back into place and wrapped it until I could have surgery. I had surgery on Monday afternoon and got out of the hospital on Wednesday afternoon. My mother has been a saint. She has looked after Peter and Miss A when I was unable to and as I am still unable to she continues to do so. Miss A has been on 'holiday' since Thursday afternoon. My sister took her out to her place about one hour away. I miss her but I admit to sleeping really well at night and in general feeling less stressed out than I have since this happened. I know she is in the best possible hands, that she is happy and doing well and having a wonderful time. I think she'll be home on Monday.

Our church has already been amazing having meals brought over for what will seem like an indefinite amount of time. At times like this it is comforting to see how amazing people can be. Whenever I get discouraged about the goodness in people I try to remember things like this.

So anyway. This is where I have been. If I continue to be rather absent, this is why. I apologize to those of you who I should have called or emailed but who are finding out this way. My brain hasn't been at it's best. Thank you in advance for all your good wishes and concern.