The Impossible Dream

I'll let you in on a secret about me. I wish I was an Olympic athlete. I realize it's never going to happen but it just feels good to say it. I think I mentioned how I would work out for a living if I was able to. I guess being an Olympic athlete would be the epitome of that dream.

As you can probably guess I've been watching the opening ceremonies. They were... amazing, boring, bizarre and moving all at once. To expand on that a bit I'll tell you what I saw (because I missed some of it). There were some aerial acrobatics (amazing), people dressed in tight spandex bodysuits in a heart formation waving their hands around (boring) and people in white overalls with huge white balloons (the size of an exercise ball) attached to their heads running around representing snowflakes (bizarre). I'm not kidding either. The announcer said “they are symbolic of snowflakes”. There was a young girl who sang the national anthem while they raised the flag which was very moving. At this time let me just express how much I dislike our national anthem. Not to be unpatriotic or anything but the more I hear every other country's anthems the more I think ours is nothing in comparison. Maybe it was the little girl's angelic voice but it was just beautiful. I have yet to hear a rendition of the Canadian anthem that sounds so pretty. Sorry. Another part that moved was watching all of the athletes coming in with their national flag. Some of the countries have such a small number of competitors. They all looked so proud and happy to be there representing their countries. That's when I felt jealous.

I think under the right circumstances I could have been an Olympic athlete. Here are the qualities I possess that make me right for the job. I am driven. I work very hard at whatever I put my mind to. I have the ability to be ridiculously strong. I am extremely competitive. I can't think of anything else right now but I think I have you all convinced. I should be there.

I figure skated as a kid. I had to give it up when we moved to the city though. But that sport would never have been my ticket. I'm too heavy set to get my arse off the ice to perform a triple axle. Maybe I could have been a speed skater. Or a cross country skier. Thinking about it makes me realize how circumstances need to be perfect in order for a person to become an Olympic athlete. I have a theory that the making of that kind of athlete is a fluke thing. Some people spend years of their lives training in a specific sport but they will never make it to the Olympics. Why? Maybe because they have been in the wrong sport. Maybe they are a skier but they should have been a skater. I also believe that it is almost always the privileged (rich) that end up competing at that level. Ordinary folks can't afford to have their kids in most of those sports. And once the athletes are old enough to be really competitive they need to train and have no time to work so they are usually supported by their parents. (I'm generalizing.) I know that some countries sponsor their athletes but that would still only be a fraction of the expenses they would have.

So, in order for me to have actually become an Olympic athlete I would have had to come from a wealthy family and miraculously have trained in the perfect sport for my body type. Although, considering the fact that I have blown my knee three times (and had the same number of surgeries on said knee) moderately competing in TaeKwon Do perhaps I would have wrecked my knee before ever getting that far. Or maybe I would have gone to the Olympics only to blow my knee in front of my country and the world and feel I wasted my life trying to attain an unreachable goal. Phew! What a relief I didn't become an Olympic athlete! That could have been so embarrassing for me. I'm very happy I got married and had a baby instead. It's probably a whole lot more rewarding anyway.