The Strength of a Mother

Mothers are proud. We have a lot to be proud of. Along with that pride inevitably comes competitiveness. I don't think we can help it. It is completely ingrained in us.

This was especially evident yesterday when I was having coffee with several friends, all of whom have given birth more than once. We somehow began sharing labor and delivery stories. I confess to enjoying this sort of thing now that I myself have given birth. I am so proud of my birth story. (I keep meaning to write about it.) Somehow I was able to do it drug free! Part of the credit really needs to go to my midwife for believing in me. While I was pregnant I had many of my clients telling me they thought I was nuts to even attempt having her “naturally” and actually told me I wouldn't be able to do it, that I would give in and have the epidural. Being the stubborn person I am it only made me more determined to do it without. Let me just say that under certain circumstances I would have had an epidural or a C-Section. I'm not that stubborn. I think that I was one of the fortunate ones who's baby was in a good position for natural childbirth. I also think I have a high pain tolerance.

Here's the part where I start voicing my opinions. How fun! Before I anger anyone let me say that I believe everyone has a different tolerance for pain and on top of that our bodies are all made differently as well. A petite woman could deliver a baby more easily than a not so petite woman although we would never imagine this to be so. Then there are those crazy babies. They can get themselves all turned around and backwards or sideways and no one wants to deliver a sideways baby. Having said that I really think that more women could deliver their babies without drugs. I mean this as a compliment! I know some first time mothers that decide they are having an epidural before they have even gone into labor! Epidurals have become so common place. And that makes me so sad. We are so much stronger than we give ourselves credit for. For someone to assume that they are not strong enough to do it before even going into labor is to underestimate themselves.

After having baby A we were unfortunately in the hospital for a week. During that time there were many births and the majority were C-Sections. I found this to be very disturbing. If I had a physician and they told me I needed a Section would I really question them? In fact if I had a physician I would have likely had an episiotomy. Audrey's heart rate dropped and my midwife told me if it didn't go back up quickly she would have to do one. I then promptly pushed her out. I'm not sure a doctor would have warned me first and then I wouldn't have had the opportunity to even try. I also learned this tidbit or information, if a woman is to have a Section and it is 11:45 pm they will wait until after 12:00 am because they get paid more. That goes the same for any other assistance such as forceps or episiotomy's. The more they do, the more they make. (I have to remind everyone that I live in Canada so this may not apply elsewhere.)

I would like to believe that all physicians would put the mother's body and health before making a little extra dough but I just don't think that all of them would. In fact I think that after a while they aren't even aware of the fact that making a little cut here or grabbing the babies head with a metal instrument there is bringing in extra cash. It just appears necessary. And worse than that, normal. A woman can't give birth without a little extra help. That's just preposterous. I hope I haven't just made everyone who bothers to read my blog so angry they'll never waste their time on it again. I just hate to think that there are future mothers out there who don't have the faith that they are strong enough to even try to have a baby without any serious intervention. Let me also say how thankful I am that we can have epidural's, episiotomy's and C-Sections when necessary.

Boy, did I ever get off topic!! What I was going to say was that when my friends and I all started exchanging birth stories that competitiveness crept in. “My baby's were both transverse!” “I was in labor for 46 hours.” “I had this many stitches.” However we give birth, it was our birth and we should be proud of it!