Settling for Less
I have some personality traits that are subjective. Sometimes they can be good other times not so good. One of these is that I am a perfectionist. Along with which comes obsessive compulsive behaviors. In my job as a hair stylist this often comes in handy. Really, wouldn't you want a perfectionist doing your hair rather than someone who is happy with the mediocre? My clients seem to enjoy this personality trait. When it comes to personal matters, it can be a struggle. Let me explain.
Since having Little A I just don't have the time that I used to have. Time for me or for my house. Going back to work has given me even less time. Blogging, although I love it, also takes up time. This classifies as me time. I set a goal for myself to post something every week day and take the weekend off. Since I am obsessed with blogging right now, this is going well so far. As for my house. When I clean it (not as often as I'd like to) I like to clean all of it. And after I do, I walk around for about a day picking up little pieces of nothing off the floor to keep it that way. I have discovered that this is impossible now that I have a baby. There just isn't enough time to clean the whole house during her nap, not to mention I don't want to wake her up. (Nap times are me times. They must not be interrupted.) So, this makes the perfectionist inside me want to scream. I have been settling for tackling one room at a time. Yesterday, it was the bathroom. I still felt a great feeling of satisfaction when I was done but once I stepped out into the rest of my home and notice the rug needed to be vacuumed, the floor mopped... Well, it just ruined it for me.
We have company coming over for supper on Friday. Of course I want my house to be clean because I am evil. (At my last La Leche League meeting we discussed that cleaning before another mom comes over is a terribly mean thing to do) The couple who is coming over has a baby who is a month older than Audrey. I am looking forward to our visit but I am compelled to want our house to be spotless. Sometimes I wish I was one of those people who just doesn't care. But I am not, and I don't think I can change. Although this mom thing is forcing me to adjust.
I will attack one area at a time until Friday arrives and I will prepare the meal. I just hate the fact that I won't be able to enjoy that feeling of walking from room to room and be satisfied with the total cleanliness of my home. I shall have to beat down my inner perfectionist and obsessive nature. Kick back, eat some cookies and read some blogs!
6 comments:
I LONG ago gave up on weekly total house-cleaning, as I'd been brought up to believe was normal. I could count on 2 hands the number of times that the bathrooms have been totally cleaned in this house since we moved in...uh, 3 years ago? I usually put it off til the toilets are literally orange inside. Nasty, huh? Nevertheless, I will scrub away the orange ring if company is coming, mom or no. And the house is generally TIDY, even if it's not exactly CLEAN. Anyways, that's just my 2 cents. Blogging instead of cleaning...
yeah...
can't help you, except that I hope you get to a place that work for ya. This balance between reality and our ideal... I look at my Mom who has no more kiddos and her house is as she likes it now. But she has no more kids. That's fine because she had her time with all six of us. Now is MY time to be with my kiddos and I want to teach them cleanliness but not not insanity. I want them to always know that I like the house to be clean because that is more comfortable, but that THEY come before the ideal.
hmmm... I'm babbling but I think you get my drift.
I am not a perfectionist, and if I were I would probably be a crazy person. I am okay just having the house picked up and put away. Once a week when the whole house is spotless, sure it feels good, but I just cant do it all the time. As time goes on (and more kids come) you will feel more comfortable with the adjustments your forced to make, and in the meantime it sounds like you are balancing it all well. Atleast your still fitting in blogging, and that is what matters ;-)
Yes, the housework, the laundry, the dishes...they do not go away. But they do wait. I am not a clean or neat freak but do understand the feeling of satisfaction when you can make you house feel good again. It gets quite crazy when you get more kids. I used to always try really hard to get my place spotless for company, then realized that they were our friends and they don't care because they have kids too...and when they come so do the kids and the kids make a mess of all your efforts anyway. I never used to invite company over because i didn't have time to clean but that was interfereing with my social life. we have to learn to let go sometimes. love ya.SAbrina
house-cleaning...I have heard rumors of this activity's existence.
You are so wise to recognize that there is only so much a mother can do!
My mom's is a hairstylist - maybe that's where I get my perfectionism from? Like you, I'm never really happy unless my house is clean. I think I'm gradually accepting that I don't need to be "really happy" and that I can be content will maintaining the status quo. It's excruciating at times, I know! To help myself through it, I remind myself of the Hygiene Hypothesis - it's actually unhealthy for our children to be raised in an uberclean environment :) (I'm serious - look it up. It's a great excuse isn't it? LOL)
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