One Month Old

Hard to believe really. Doesn't she have an odd wise look about her?



added by Papa D:

Big Girl and Little Girl Developments

So Miss A has officially moved to a 'Big Girl Bed'. See here.




(Yes, that is a Barbie bedspread. Handed down from her cousin. It actually matches the room, saves me money and so on and so forth. A likes Barbies and I loved them too when I was little.)

I asked her to sit on her big girl bed and smile and this is what I got.







It's going pretty well so far, which is shocking to me. I did not think she would stay put but she has. We go through the same bedtime routine except that I lay bedside her on the bed and read to her, we pray, we sing (and at this point she often asks to go potty which is probably a stalling technique but she does actually go so I'm not going to refuse) and then when it's time for bed I kiss her, tell her I'll see her when the sun comes up (not literally) and say "Nighty, night night night night". She giggles, repeats and I turn the light off and pull the door almost closed. Done.

So far so good. Now, having said that said I will also say that I expect there will be issues... There always is. She seems to go through cycles with bedtime. Sometimes it's easy and routine goes well, sometimes she totally bucks routine and tries to pull all kinds of crap. So that is coming... I'm sure.

As for the little one. She continues to be an amazing baby. I can't believe she will be a month old tomorrow! Wow. My only complaints are her late owl tendencies as of late (she wants to stay up until almost midnight, meanwhile I'm nodding off in the chair) and her habit of overeating and then puking copious amounts. I'm not kidding. It is something to see. It comes out of her nose and mouth like a fountain. I sit there helpless, trying to catch it, fumbling for a kleenex, anything, while also trying to keep her from drowning at the same time. It's really rather ridiculous. Then we go and change all of our clothing.



I'm trying to keep up with things around here, without overdoing it and I'm trying not to feel overwhelmed. Trying to find balance with the scales weighing heavier on the 'spending time with the kids' side. I've been wanting to post for days and yet haven't until today. (And I've had to stop several times to - get paint, clean up paint, help wash hands, help brush teeth) I have dishes to put away, dishes to wash (I'm beginning to see the appeal of a dishwasher), I'd like to dust and wash the kitchen and bathroom floors and oh yeah there's that load of laundry downstairs...

Anyway. AND I read 'Breaking Dawn' which I thought was amazing and I'd love to write a review here but I'm going to wait to give people more time to read it. I recently discovered that there are fans(?) who really hated it. I of course acknowledge that everyone is entitled to their opinion but some of these people are starting a campaign encouraging people to return their books to 'send a message' to Stephanie. For pete's sake. Not only that, but some people are making ludicrous claims about things that the book is supposedly promoting. (I won't mention these because they could be considered spoilers.) Mostly this depresses me because I think it would be awful to pour your heart and soul into something, like this book, only to have people be ungrateful, misinterpret and basically crap all over your effort. You don't have to like it, just don't be so ridiculous... Rant over.

Slightly Melancholy

So I realize that my body is full of post pregnancy hormones which will obviously be affecting my feelings right now. Regardless, I think I would still be feeling this way.

It is hitting me now, almost two weeks after having Baby B that I will never be pregnant again. I mean, I know I could be, but I don't want to be. Not even though I'm feeling a bit sad about the realization of it.

It's crazy anyway. It's not like I have nice, enjoyable pregnancies. I barf my guts out. Barf so hard I pee in my pants. And I break my ankle. And the whole thing is pretty much a game of 'how much can one person endure in nine months'?

But there's the belly. Even though I complained about the comments I was getting, I personally loved the belly. It's so hard and round and miraculous. I look down at it's absence now and over at B and think, wow, she was in there.

And the kicking. The moving. The human being that you are growing inside of you is moving. And you wonder, wonder who this little person is. What they'll be like. Marvel at their strength.

And I won't experience those things again. I know I could. But I won't. And right now I'm having a bit of a hard time with that. Which I guess I should be happy about because I think it is a testament to my mental health this time around. With A at this point I was all, this is it I AM NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN! IN FACT, WHY DID I DO IT AT ALL? I THINK I HAVE RUINED MY LIFE! Yeah. For real. I thought that.

So, I guess I'm happy that I can even feel those sad feelings about never doing it again. I think it's actually a positive way to complete your family.

Differences

Here are some of the ways my two girls differ. And I'm talking about when Miss A was the same age.

Regarding breastfeeding

Miss A - Get those things out of my face right now before I spontaneously combust from anger.

Baby B - Wow! These are great, full of deliciousness. Please don't make me stop.

Regarding Noise

Miss A - Shut up!! How do you expect me to sleep with all this noise? The creaky floors. The talking. The whispering. The breathing.

Baby B - Don't mind me. Yell, scream, cry, have a tantrum. I might jump or frown but I'll just keep right on sleeping.

Regarding Bodily Functions

Miss A - I poop once a week. It is a big deal. Expect me to be miserable the rest of the time. How would you like to have that sitting around inside you for a whole week?

Baby B - I am a regular girl. I really like to go right after a fresh diaper change. Nothing I like better than a good dump. Well, maybe eating.

Regarding Sleep

Miss A - I don't really like to sleep. I prefer to cry for hours on end, especially between 11:00 pm and 5:00 am. And don't even try to make me happy. It's really just a waste of time.

Baby B - Okay, so I really like to eat. But other than that I'm good. No need to do anything else really, just put me back in bed once my belly is full.

Regarding Anger

Miss A - I am so angry. I don't really know why. The world just seems like a pretty unfair place if you ask me.

Baby B - Anger? Oh, you mean when I'm hungry and I'm not eating and I'd like to be eating? Yeah, I guess that makes me a bit angry. But only for like, a minute or so. And sometimes wiping my bum makes me mad. And when the bath water is a bit too cold.


So yeah. Wow. Mostly I am happy for Miss A that Baby B is so easy going. It is keeping us all pretty sane during a time when I was sure we'd all be losing our minds.

Here are some more pictures.

The Downlow

We are home. Miss A is out of town visiting with her Auntie, Uncle and Cousins. I miss her and yet I am relieved to be able to ease into this whole 'new thing'.

So I'm going to attempt to tell the birth story. The tiny one is stirring now so I may rush a bit. It's a relatively short story so it shouldn't take me long to get it out.

I guess I could lengthen it a bit by saying that on Wednesday I did have the second 'sweep' done. My midwife said by cervix was 4-5 and stretchy to 7-8 centimeters (ouch!) I was also given a recipe for a castor oil smoothie to be taken on Thursday morning if I still wasn't in labor. (Thank god I didn't have to go that route...) My midwife was teaching the Aqua Natal class that evening so I went early to swim some laps before hand. She was disappointed to hear that I wasn't having any contractions yet. The class was very enjoyable and I actually felt really great and energetic the whole way through. I went home, did the bedtime routine with Miss A and watched 'So You Think You Can Dance'.

I wasn't really expecting anything to happen. I was dreading yet another 'sweep' planned for the following morning as well as the icky smoothie chaser. My mom was coming over to help out that next morning so I could go for my appointment and to be around when the nasty effects of the smoothie started to kick in. I woke at 3:30 am, groggy and thinking "Ow" then I lay in bed half awake until another "Ow" sensation hit. After another I began checking my watch for duration of the contractions and length of time between. Approximately 10 minutes and pretty strong already. I contemplated waking Peter up but decided against it. I thought as my breathing intensified he may wake up anyway... nope. I just continued to labor this way and 'rest' in between contractions. By 5:00 am I could tell things were getting stronger and closer pretty quickly. I started to consider when I needed to start taking some serious action.


(Taken around 6:00 am)


I woke Peter at around 5:20 and filled him in. While he had a shower I called my mom and asked her to please come over a little earlier than she'd planned to. At 5:50 I paged my midwife, she called back, I filled her in and she told me she'd be at the house in a half hour to assess me. She also gave me her cell phone number in case I needed to meet her at the hospital instead.

Peter had breakfast and loaded everything into the car. My contractions were getting pretty crazy and while I was having one I tried to make sure I was in an 'easy to clean' area in case my water broke. I was kind of preoccupied with the idea that Miss A might wake up with all the commotion. Miraculously she didn't. I think everything would have honestly freaked her out and I would have felt really badly about that.

I was seriously thinking that I might have to call my midwife and ask her to meet us at the hospital but that was right when she arrived.(6:35) She assessed me during a contraction and said you are fully dilated and we need to get to the hospital now. She instructed Peter to 'step on it'. (He loved this by the way, driving fast and being annoyed with the slow drivers and all the traffic.)

We arrived at the hospital.(6:50) I was amazed my water still hadn't broken. We had a bit of a long walk from the parking lot to the hospital, rode the elevator and headed to our room. While I was walking past the nurses desk my midwife filled them in on where I was at. When she explained that I was fully dilated I head a resounding "Holy Crap!" from several of them.

I was so relieved to have arrived in the room - that I wouldn't have the baby at home or in the car or in the elevator. My back was feeling sore so my midwife started to run me a bath. I asked if I could sit on the toilet (what is it with me and the toilet when I'm in labor?) and she told me to go ahead. Then I realized I really wanted to push. She told me to go ahead. I did and my water broke. The next contraction I was thinking "Oh man, I'm going to deliver my baby into the toilet!" I told her I thought I'd better move. She agreed and shared that she'd had someone deliver into a toilet before and it wasn't the greatest thing. I knelt on the bed and leaned against the head of it which was raised. I couldn't control the urge to push and the baby started crowning. My midwife told me to wait until she had her gloves on! I think everyone was shocked about how quickly everything was happening.

Next thing we knew her head was delivered. I heard Peter and my midwife saying how amazing it was. She told me I could just relax and wait until I was ready to push again. I did. She told me to take it easy and Peter kept making sure that I was hearing what she was telling me. I think he was a bit freaked out for me since he had a very good view of what exactly was going on and didn't want me to tear. Her shoulders were the worst bit but they were quick and then she was here! Peter told me she was a girl. I admit I was surprised. I think I was convinced she was a boy.

(My Wonderful Midwife)




And the rest of the details are probably not as interesting. Her cord was very short so passing her through my legs to the front and having me turn around seemed like an acrobatic feat. I cannot describe the joy and utter amazement I felt when I first tried to nurse her and she actually opened her mouth and sucked and did what she was supposed to do! I wish we had a picture of my face it would have been classic.

I don't want to jinx anything by saying much but I can honestly say that she has been absolutely amazing so far. Just a totally different temperament to her sister. I am so incredibly relieved and thankful. I love my A so much but I honestly didn't know if I could do that again. My only complaint is that this girl loves to suck so much that she would stay on all day! This is hilarious in itself since her sister wanted absolutely NOTHING to do with breastfeeding! So strange.





It has been tiring since she is a bit hard to settle down at night, in the sense that when she appears to be all settled in and relaxed and I try to put her to bed she won't go for it because "Hey, I want a nipple in my mouth." But given the choice to have that or a kid who cries all night, refuses to eat and nothing makes her happy, I'll take this. It is comforting to me at least to know that I have the means to soothe her. It was awful to feel so helpless with A. I could just do nothing at all for her and it was a sickening feeling.

Anyway, I guess I had a lot to say after all. (What a surprise!) I have no idea when I'll get to post again. Miss A is coming home tomorrow and I imagine there will be a lot of adjustments going on around here in the next while and not nearly as much free time. Thank you all for your kindness and well wishes. You seriously have no idea how special that is to me.

Any Day Now

So last night I was saying to Peter "In a week or so we could have another baby." He nodded at me silently. We both sat there looking at each other letting that knowledge sink in. We are going to have two kids soon. One of whom is going to be a tiny (or maybe not so tiny) baby who won't be able to tell us what's the matter. Wow. Deep breaths.