Loss

On Thursday night our world began falling apart piece by piece. It all started with a phone call from Peter's mom telling us that his dad was in the hospital. Apparently he'd been struggling with a bad cold for a while. When he became weak and had no appetite she decided to take him to the doctor. We were worried but tried to be rational and stay calm. Adding insult to injury Miss A wasn't feeling well and was up most of the night. She and I slept about two and a half hours that night. In the morning just before Peter left for work we got a call from his brother. Dad had been moved to ICU in the middle of the night. He had suffered a heart attack brought on by pneumonia. The rest is a blur.

We both went to work and later that day I received a call from Peter saying that his brother had called and told him to come right away. I followed soon after with A. The roads were terrible for the last 40 minutes of our drive. When we arrived we went straight to the hospital. I would love to be able to say that when I saw my father in law I put on a brave face. I would love to say that I didn't hold his hand and turn my face away because I didn't want him to see me crying. This man had been more of a father to me than my own.

Peter and his two brothers were amazing. Their hearts were breaking yet at times they were able to joke with each other and make each other laugh. I watched them in awe of their strength. Peter's mom was so brave. She sat by her husband's side for hours on end, holding his hand.

Although we were told that he would be gone within hours of the phone call Peter had received on Friday afternoon it carried on much, much longer. My father in law was a fighter and he was the strongest person I have ever known.

We got the call yesterday morning that he had passed away. We had made the difficult decision to come home on Sunday afternoon because we honestly had no idea how long things could carry on that way. I asked Peter if he was sorry that we decided to come home, he tells me he's not.

Everyone here and there are exhausted. Days of very little or no sleep have caught up to us. Since Peter and I were both sick at the start of this ordeal the stress and lack of sleep have only made things worse. Peter has a back and shoulder injury which has tightened up with stress making it nearly impossible for him to be comfortable and is interfering with his sleep.

Through all of this Miss A has been astounding. She contentedly played in the tiny ICU waiting room for hours while we all took turns sitting at the bedside. She slept remarkably well though not in her own bed. Slept through 2:00 am phone calls and commotion in the night. She traveled perfectly, sleeping most of the trips each way even though she'd already napped and yet she still went to bed at a decent hour. And she has been an angel since our return. She has brought joy to us with her giggles and smiles. Joy that we are so badly in need of.