The Mall is a Highway

Thankfully I can say I am done Christmas shopping. Or maybe I shouldn't say it because then I will remember “just one more thing” I have to get. I have done all my shopping this year with Miss A in tow. Since I work on Saturdays we really don't have the opportunity to shop as a family. I don't think Peter is too upset about it. He has been gleefully shopping online. Does anyone know a website where you can purchase stocking stuffers? Cause if you do, he'll be totally set.

I have missed our family shopping trips. Although it's always touch and go as to whether we get through it without having an argument about what exactly caused him to become cranky. Was it the people standing in the aisles, their carts pushed together like some kind of shopping roadblock, chatting and totally oblivious to the lineup of people wanting to get by them? Was it the fact that I was taking too long to decide between two similar items, one of which I would eventually purchase? Or was it because people weren't following his 'mall traffic flow' rules. Yes, you heard me right. He has rules.

Once upon a time, many years ago Peter and I were shopping together at the mall during the busy Christmas season. To avoid a crowd in front of us I headed towards the left 'side' of the mall corridor. “What are you doing?” he asked in horror. I explained that I was trying to get through the crowd more quickly. “But you are breaking the rules!” he exclaimed. I told him I had no idea what he was talking about. He explained 'the rules' which are actually 'his rules' and not rules that anyone else follows as far as I can tell. He sees the mall corridors as a highway and in order for the 'traffic' to flow smoothly everyone should treat it as such. Is this making any sense? Probably not. Let me illustrate with a photo.

This is an example of proper 'traffic flow'. People traveling in either one direction or another.



This is an example of improper 'traffic flow'. Notice the weaving back and forth. Not allowed. This is considered rule breaking.



This is the correct way to enter and exit a store which is on the other side of the corridor than the direction you are traveling. Notice the clean lines. Notice how once you exit the store you go directly back to your 'side' of the corridor.



And finally here is why we follow the rules. This is the complete and utter chaos that ensues if the 'rules' are not followed. You can see the traffic flow is not efficient and you can imagine the frustration of the shoppers caught in such terrible flow.



Unfortunately a lot of people don't follow my husbands 'rules'. I always point these people out to him when we're shopping. It's unnecessary because he is fully aware of all those who break his rules. When he first explained them to me I thought he was nuts. Now I find myself following them involuntarily every time I am shopping. And noticing all those who are not.

For those of you who think we are nuts try following his rules the next time you go shopping and see how well they work. And notice how quickly you become annoyed with the rule breakers...